hey.. first of all.. he did stand up for himself and he is still doing that and he is 100% HONEST, he isnt playing any drama!
and dont u think i realise that it was wrong to wait this long, but what can i do NOW?! its over and done i cant change the past ...
guys cant move the mount everest all by THEMSELVES (like sum1 said above)... i was just asking for another WAY his parents would be able to understand his feelings too... jus so that CLICK is there between him and his parents
people in this thread have given you decent advice about what you and him can do. it's pretty obvious. but you know, if he hasn't taken them steps himself already i don't see how you will be able to make him.
i was just asking for another WAY his parents would be able to understand his feelings too... jus so that CLICK is there between him and his parents
This is the last resort , I do not know if he has a backbone to do it , you would know.
If his love is true he can leave the comfort of his parents home and make them miss him and his love . He is not a girl so he is not going to give a bad name to his family , but they will see his seriousness and will take him seriously and will also realize that he is not their puppet he can have an independent life. It has happened many a times earlier and the parents caved in .Everything worked out well in the end and everybody lived happily ever after.
Before anybody jumps on me I will not give such an advice to a girl though. My advice to a girl will be entirely different in such a situation if her parents are so stubborn.
yea he did that.. he left his house... but after alot of things that happened in between he went back to talk to his mother.. but still nothing! she did halfway agreed but still agrees with his dad who isnt listening to his sons happiness! he even got beaten up by him!!!
he told her that he wont marry anyone today, but at the same time if he wants peace in his family how long will that go?
yea he did that.. he left his house... but after alot of things that happened in between he went back to talk to his mother.. but still nothing! she did halfway agreed but still agrees with his dad who isnt listening to his sons happiness! he even got beaten up by him!!!
he told her that he wont marry anyone today, but at the same time if he wants peace in his family how long will that go?
He got beaten up by his father ? How old is he ? He has to stand up now for his right to marry the girl he likes otherwise forever hold his peace. There is no third way in this situation.
yea he did that.. he left his house... but after alot of things that happened in between he went back to talk to his mother.. but still nothing! she did halfway agreed but still agrees with his dad who isnt listening to his sons happiness! he even got beaten up by him!!!
he told her that he wont marry anyone today, but at the same time if he wants peace in his family how long will that go?
Alyana...I think you need to do istikhara and pray for an answer.
what is that goin to doPSquared? his parents aren't seeing it...
my dear, as i said a few posts back, people who have been through this have advised you. there is no magical way in which everything can work out without hurting anyone. if things have come to this YOU have to accept there is nothing you can do to make them change their minds. this guy has to decide whether he wants to stay with his parents or whether he wants to stand up for the two of you and your future together. and REALLY stand up, not just go away from home for a little while in the hope that they will miss him and let him have his way when he returns.
i think you ignored my first post regarding approaching your parents formally for your hand. he needs to get independent and take this step.
what is that goin to doPSquared? his parents aren't seeing it...
What will happen is it might give you an idea of what YOU should do next. Alyana, please dont take this the wrong way...istikhara might tell you if this is even worth the struggle. Sometimes we try to push a situation only because we are so far into it that its hard to back out.
His parents are the problem right now but in the long run, they will be secondary. After all this shor sharaba dies down, it will be you and him.
I think you should do istikhara for your own good and for him as well. If you care for him, you will try to see if you are a good partner for him and vice versa.
yea thanx il try to do it, but i have never done it .. how should i do it properly?
and you know its not even bout him and me anymore! his parents dont seem to care about HIS LIFE.. just what people might say and all that! its such a big headache.. i know many of you said negative stuff here but they dont know HALF the stuff that is goin on but oh well..
so what is the best way to do it, what do i have to do?
Stoppit our family is close and its not good when he leaves his family and comes to ask mine.. and neither can i walk to my dad and say "hey dad, i found myself a boy" :s
I understand the relationship between you and your father…mine is similar. But I dont think you should be having that conversation anyway. I think it should be your SO calling and declaring his intentions of marrying you to your parents.
certain things in life become more evident with the passage of time . give him time . dont push onto him to make his decisions . if he is interested in you he will definitely turn the other gurl and find his way out . but if he is confused , and is just being a victim of the circumstances , he may repent later on . so its better to give him time and space and more important is that you learn to take ure chances with him
whats SO.. him?? yea i explained a post before that untill his parents dont agree, he cant really come over to my place as its family
im looking at ur link, thanx.. i had the duah somewhere but dont have it anymore.. where can i find it?
alyana, i'm speaking having come from a similar situation, with a very close link between the families. if his parents aren't agreeing despite his efforts then he has to be mature and come to your parents as an independent. if you father thinks that he is right for you and would have accepted had the situation been 'proper' then i'm sure he can be convinced to help you guys reconcile with his parents.
like i said before, you need to know if your parents would accept him before he takes any drastic steps otherwise it's all for nothing.
