Re: plz help me out
yea they know about me.. (but right now he hasnt told its ME yet as he wants them to open up first) we are very close as family so we need to respect our families too! we cant just pack our bags and leave our family.. its NOT the right thing to do either...
Re: plz help me out
Mirch he is thinkin of ways and he is working on it.. i dont know anyone who has been through things like this or so.. so thats y i asked here.. its not like he is making me do all the work.. it was ME who came here to ask as i saw that u guys can be a great help..
our family is very close and we dont want things to get bad between us so it needs to handled calmly too..
You guys might think why he agreed to in the first place, well.. thats another topic all together! He IS HONEST, he ISNT two-timing or anything, its jus really a veryyy long story and i cant write it all down lol
Always look on the bright side of life: you did manage to put in a lol despite the 'seriousness' of the situation :biggthumb
Love is blind , it does not care about any kind of bonds other than bond of love.
You two are merchants not love birds. You guys are just window shopping.
Love is like flowing river it will always find its final destiny , no matter how many dams you build in its way.
P.S: Been there done that. I loved a girl. Her parents did not agree initialy , but in the end my love won the battle of love.
Now we have three kids and are living happily ever after.
Ho sakay to zamanay say baghawat kar lo
warna jahan maan baap kahain wahan shadi kar lo.
Re: plz help me out
if he is committed to you then he just needs to get on with it.
it's more important that your parents agree, he can marry without his parent's consent but can you? he should visit your father, explain the situation to him and ask for permission. your father should know that he's 100% about you and what he intends to do in regards to his parents. what happens next with his parents depends on whether your parents agree or not/or getting your parents to agree.
or he can tell his parents that he is 100% marrying the girl he has chosen and no other. he doesn't need to be rude to them, disrespectful or argue. just that simple statement and a request that they back-out of the rishta for the other girls sake. if he is unmoving and they know that there is a time limit from his side after which he will not wait for their approval any longer, i'm sure that they will give in. but this route will take time after which there is no guarantee that your parent's will agree.
you might be able to get them to agree to him in the meantime but since your families are close they might reject on the basis that his parents are more important to them than the two of you getting married. which is why i think the first route is better. at least you will know whether they will approve of his later stand to his parents and whether they will be willing to back your marriage if the guy has to go through it on his own without his parents.
Re: plz help me out
Its very childish to agree to marry another woman when you are not committed to it. And it was wrong on your part to continue to have a relationship with him even after you found out his 'baat had been pakkied'. Whatever the intensity of your relationship, you knew that an innocent girl was tied to him and so was her family and yet to continued in the relationship.
Now when he breaks it off, it's unfair to the girl, to her family and to this guy's parents.
You were both immature about your options and are still not considerate of people are around you.
Seriously, open your eyes and look around. It's not just the two of you in the world. There are parents, women and families effected by your childish behavior.
Quite frankly, that girl deserves better. You two deserve each other.
lol and i thought u were serious…but right…
:k:
Re: plz help me out
But I do sympathsize with the girl as she is in love and it would be very hard to let go. However, sometimes allah gives people messages that the couple arent ment to be. I know this is hard alyana, but maybe you arent ment to be with him as god knows best what is good for your future:)
Its very childish to agree to marry another woman when you are not committed to it. And it was wrong on your part to continue to have a relationship with him even after you found out his 'baat had been pakkied'. Whatever the intensity of your relationship, you knew that an innocent girl was tied to him and so was her family and yet to continued in the relationship.
Now when he breaks it off, it's unfair to the girl, to her family and to this guy's parents. You were both immature about your options and are still not considerate of people are around you. Seriously, open your eyes and look around. It's not just the two of you in the world. There are parents, women and families effected by your childish behavior.
Quite frankly, that girl deserves better. You two deserve each other.
true yea. i missed that part. he started having a 'proper relationship' with you after he had agreed to marry someone else - not right. and you should not have allowed it to happen until he had broken it off and got himself sorted out first.
ps
please do not take my posts seriously... if u wish u can but i only post this to annoy some aunties
LOL
Hey everyone..
I am new here and I saw how helpfull u guys are.
I wanted ur advise on a problem of mine... i have been with a guy for a very long time but things started to get really serious this year, before it was like LIKE & CARE about eachother, this year it has been like a proper relationship.
Before that he didnt really wanted to get married (ever!) and his family liked a girl and after alot of PUSHIN he agreed just to keep his family happy (this happened end last year), which is now his biggest regret ever as he has told his parents about me now and told them he doesnt want to marry the other girl. They are tellin him they cant back off as they have already said yes, but neither has he ever seen the girl or he is interested in her as he has been with me all this time.
You guys might think why he agreed to in the first place, well.. thats another topic all together! He IS HONEST, he ISNT two-timing or anything, its jus really a veryyy long story and i cant write it all down lol
Anyway, i jus wanted to ask u how he should convince his parents, what can he say to them that they will understand? I mean people back off after engagements so sayin yes isnt the end of it right?
I have no idea what to do! I am tryin to stay calm and tryin to think how we can save US but i have no idea.. guys plz help me out on this one... THIS will decide our future as we dont want ANYTHING else!
Isnt he close to his siblings? Cant he enlist the help of an older brother, sister cousin, aunt or uncle? Someone his parents trust? Sometimes, that works and parents can understand if another person talks instead of your SO.
Can he lead his life independent of his parents ? If he can then he is making a fool of you. If he cannot live with out their support then also he is fooling you. You have to grow up and see the things through. He is just trying to calm you down. If he loves you so much he should not be asking your help with coming up the ideas to convince his parents. If he has brains , he can think , he is mature , and he loves you too much he should have already told this girl and her parents about his love for you and his intentions of not marrying that girl. He would already be on his way to make arrangements to get married to you. If he cannot do all that then is not matured enough to get married to any girl. You should come out of this bad dream and start living the real life.
^ i agree
Re: plz help me out
i knew of sumone in a very similar situation and all they did was..
they both spoke to their parents.. and they both told them that u can do anything u want.. but i wont marry anyone other than this person.. even if i have to wait like 10 yrs.. they would reject every possible rishta that came their way and finally the parents gave into their stubborn-ness.. and now they even say it was the best decision they ever made..
so id say stay put and involve ur parents..
Re: plz help me out
Don't let it become the story of "Hum Perdesi Ho Gaye".
Re: plz help me out
girl, are you sure he is not feeding you bullsheet and using his parents as an excuse to slowly get rid of you from the equation. I am being the devils advocate here. Hope all works well for you.
Re: plz help me out
oh god y do ppl get themselves into idiotic situations , ok everyone makes mistakes rite i am no saint .. but jeeeeeeeeeeez these r ppl's lives that u play with . y cant guys / girls decide at the rite time dt they friggin love each other its always after someone else comes into the equation
sorry to say bt if ur guy said yes to keep his family happy despite him likin u , i dont see him doing anythging against their wishes.
just get over him and dont ruin the other poor girl's life
Re: plz help me out
One more thing, I keep feeling as if this guy is very weak. Ive seen this before. If he really loved you, things would never have gotten this bad...really. Ive seen true love and if a guy really wants you, he will move Mt Everest to be with you. Are you sure he is really in love with you or just loves you? There is a difference.
Why is he having such a hard time opening up his mouth in front of his family? That is a sign of trouble woman! You will spend the rest of your life fearing his family and their influence on your husband! I would say RUN!
Why is it that his parents know but yours dont? How unfair is that to your mom and dad? Where is the respect for them? Does their opinion not matter? Only his parents' opinions matter?
If he really cared, he would never have said yes to some girl he barely knows because his parents wanted her. He would have convinced them about you and you would have been posting about your bridal outfit in the Fashion and Beauty section by now.
Sadly, Ive seen this entire story played out before and the same excuses with a friend of mine. Everything is the same...even the 3rd girl in the picture.
You need to leave this man.
Re: plz help me out
just admit it.. it's only lust and no love at all.
pray for guidance and move on with ur life, if Allah wants him as your husband, then that will happen if not, say thanks and move on
Re: plz help me out
hey.. first of all.. he did stand up for himself and he is still doing that and he is 100% HONEST, he isnt playing any drama!
and dont u think i realise that it was wrong to wait this long, but what can i do NOW?! its over and done i cant change the past ...
guys cant move the mount everest all by THEMSELVES (like sum1 said above)... i was just asking for another WAY his parents would be able to understand his feelings too... jus so that CLICK is there between him and his parents
:k: