I wanted ur advise on a problem of mine… i have been with a guy for a very long time but things started to get really serious this year, before it was like LIKE & CARE about eachother, this year it has been like a proper relationship.
Before that he didnt really wanted to get married (ever!) and his family liked a girl and after alot of PUSHIN he agreed just to keep his family happy (this happened end last year), which is now his biggest regret ever as he has told his parents about me now and told them he doesnt want to marry the other girl.
They are tellin him they cant back off as they have already said yes, but neither has he ever seen the girl or he is interested in her as he has been with me all this time.
You guys might think why he agreed to in the first place, well.. thats another topic all together! He IS HONEST, he ISNT two-timing or anything, its jus really a veryyy long story and i cant write it all down lol
Anyway, i jus wanted to ask u how he should convince his parents, what can he say to them that they will understand? I mean people back off after engagements so sayin yes isnt the end of it right?
I have no idea what to do! I am tryin to stay calm and tryin to think how we can save US but i have no idea.. guys plz help me out on this one… THIS will decide our future as we dont want ANYTHING else!
Well if he doesnt like the girl he is engaged to then he should let the girl know quickly. Theirs no point in leading her on. Do your parents know you like this guy? By the way where are you from? I know a guy in a similar situation. He is engaged to someone and never talks to her
but then he can say I dont want to marry her because I have seen many times engagements breaking off. If you really love him and he loves you then he needs to convince his parents and if they dont take account of his needs then that is going against islam because you cant force somone into marriage. Where are you from and why is he marrying a girl he doesnt like? I have to admit it is his fault aswell.
yea i know and he realises it that he made a BIG mistake, but at that time he just wanted to keep his family happy! He was pressurized to say yes.
He doesnt want to marry her either but the thing is his parents wont listen to anything he has to say, they have an answer for everything!
There are a lot of stories girls getting forced now its HIM :s
well you need to talk to your parents and he needs to talk to his parents asap, because the more this drags on the harder it will get especially if there is a third person involved, other girl his parents have said yes to. he needs to make his feelings known, even try talking to other girl and telling her the truth.
there's no solution to this except talking to the parents OR to the girl so she can refuse from her side (which i think would be cowardly on the guy's part). he has to convince them.
What's to say he will marry you? after all he said yes to his parents for that girl and not for YOU! get my point? you guys are on some cloud in a fairytale.... i think u r waking up just now. thank Allah for that.
he might not know the girl or seen her but she is involved in this rishta too and someone needs to tell her the truth of whats really happening here otherwise many people will get hurt,
its wrong on his behalf to be in love with you, agree to marry another, in this way he is stringing two people along, he needs to stand up for himself and tell his parents actually what he wants and where his happiness lies,
He does need to stand up for himself and be a man about it. His parents cant force him to sign the nikah papers can they? I think he is acting abit cowardly in my opnion and he is a guy. Guys usually get their own way. I think you should speak to the other girl involved and tell her the truth. I dont understand his parents either. Why force your son into marriage and have an unhappy marriage. Dont his parents care about his feelings?
Can he lead his life independent of his parents ? If he can then he is making a fool of you.
If he cannot live with out their support then also he is fooling you. You have to grow up and see the things through. He is just trying to calm you down. If he loves you so much he should not be asking your help with coming up the ideas to convince his parents. If he has brains , he can think , he is mature , and he loves you too much he should have already told this girl and her parents about his love for you and his intentions of not marrying that girl. He would already be on his way to make arrangements to get married to you. If he cannot do all that then is not matured enough to get married to any girl.
You should come out of this bad dream and start living the real life.