Okay a couple of questions for you all…thoughts and opinions would be appreciated.
Person A is holding an event and invites a friend (Person B). Person B is of a different ethnicity and speaks a different language and will most likely not be able to communicate with majority of people at the event (and Person A will be busy)
Is it rude of Person B to ask Person B if he/she can bring a plus one?
If you were person A would you be upset/pissed if Person B asked to bring someone?
If you were person B would you ask to bring someone or go alone?
Would you change your mind if the event was at a masjid? (don’t ask me why it would be different if it was at a masjid vs somewhere else :D)
Is it rude of Person B to ask Person B if he/she can bring a plus one?
I don’t think it is, I mean why would it be rude to bring an extra person? If you’re telling them before hand and not on the day I would say its ok
If you were person A would you be upset/pissed if Person B asked to bring someone?
No, I would like them to feel comfortable and also tell me before hand.
If you were person B would you ask to bring someone or go alone?
Yes, its better if I know somebody there besides A then not know anybody and can’t communicate with them… although I would like somebody with me regardless if they can understand me or not since I’m awkward and can’t talk to strangers.
On your blog you said it was your first time to be invited by this friend, I would suggest that you suck it up and endure being awkward.
Play with your phone or something
^ Not at all. A friend of mine invited me to her daughter’s 4th b-day. I didn’t know anyone there, although mind you language wasn’t an issue - they all spoke English. I went, mingled for about 45 minutes, and then made an excuse and left.
One of the responsibilities of a host is to ensure that all of their guests are entertained. If you’re going solo, your host needs to make sure that they seat you with or introduce you to people you can mingle with. If they leave you to your own devices, then they’ve failed their duty as a host.
Well, I don’t want Person A to be concerned about food and such. It seems like a moderate size event but still adding a person can sometimes lead to hardships for the host…which I would never want.
The only reason I am asking this question is b/c I know I am going to be uncomfortable the whole time there (minus the few minutes Person A greets me and chit chats).
Talking to random people is something I have a hard time doing.
Whether it’s a wedding, bday party, or any other PRIVATE event, when an invitation is given, if a plus one is not already included, I think it’s extremely rude to ask if you can bring an extra guest.
If I was the person hosting the event, I wouldn’t be pissed or upset…but I would get the impression that the person asking to bring someone lacks manners.
And if I was person B, and if I truly felt that I would be uncomfortable at the event…then I would make up an excuse and just not go.
However, depending on the day/place/time of the event, if person B can make up a believable excuse and go to the party only for a short period, then that’s an option too.
i think plus one should be fine especially given the black swahili speaker issue. however, if the second person is pregnant but doesnt show yet, should they say it is a plus 2 or can they get away with a plus 1?
If she doesn’t show then I think she can get away with plus 1
Thanks for the replies everyone. I am most likely going to suck it up and be uncomfortable for a bit. The last thing I want to do is come off as is rude or manner less. This is important for Person A and I feel like I should be there even if it is for a short time.
If someone asked me if they could bring a plus one, I wouldn’t find it rude at all. And if it is a close friend, I would not feel uncomfortable asking if I could being a plus one. If she is a close friend, just ask if it is okay to bring someone with you. Most people I know will not find it rude or mind one other guest.
If the event is one that required an RSVP and the head count matters when it comes to food and seating, then I could see why having that request would be inconvenient for the host. But if it is a buffet, masjid situation, I highly doubt your friend would find it rude.
**Is it rude of Person B to ask Person B if he/she can bring a plus one? **
Assuming you meant Person B asking Person A - Not rude at all. Nothing wrong with asking.
Assuming you meant Person A asking Person B - Also not rude at all, actually rather considerate!
**If you were person A would you be upset/pissed if Person B asked to bring someone? **
Considering the situation you described, not at all.
**If you were person B would you ask to bring someone or go alone? **
Depends on the type of gathering and who I had in mind to bring me. More than likely, if it was appropriate, I’d ask to bring someone and not go alone, just so I wasn’t an awkward turtle.
**Would you change your mind if the event was at a masjid?
** Well Masjids usually have large communities, different cultures and what not. I don’t think I’d ask someone to come with me. If anyone, my sister. Bas. **
**
Is it rude of Person B to ask Person B if he/she can bring a plus one?
---- No, it is not rude. But, I would not do that. Simply because if Person A cared, he would have asked Person B in first place if he wanted to bring someone.
If you were person A would you be upset/pissed if Person B asked to bring someone?
---- Not Really. I cannot see how that can be offending.
If you were person B would you ask to bring someone or go alone?
---- I would have either gone alone or not at all. It is always nice to see how different people/culture have their functions. A man can enjoy alone, as long as the idea is to observe and enjoy.
****Would you change your mind if the event was at a masjid?
---- Not really. I am a Hindu and I visit Masjid very often. I cannot see how that can be a problem with anyone. If that in fact is a problem, such people do not deserve to be alive and called Human.
It depends. If you’re bringing a plus one on the day of the event, haven’t asked prior to the event and ask last minute…I’d be irritated. If you give notice then I’d not think its rude at all.
Well Masjids usually have large communities, different cultures and what not. I don’t think I’d ask someone to come with me. If anyone, my sister. Bas. **