Assalamalaikum.
For a few years now my mother has not spoken to me. Well, we werent close at all in the first place but something happened a few years ago after which she totally cut off and refuses to acknowledge my existence. I still occasionally take the kids to see her but I am ignored.
I know we made a mistake but that was a long time ago and she is very stubborn and the sort of person who holds agrudge till the bitter end. She doesnt like to give a second chance.I do not want things to be left like this indefinitely as you dont know whats going to happen in the next minute.
Many people in the family have tried for a reconciliation, me and my husband went to see her for this purpose but she just keeps repeating the past and wont let go. If I go to a family gathering and try to shake her hand she will not take my hand and turns away.
My eyes are filling up as I type even though we were never close she is still my mother.
The reason I am telling you this is that in this blessed month of Ramadan I am praying and fasting and then I am thinking are any of my prayers being accepted when my own mother will not give me the time of day? How can my prayers be accepted.
I pray every sehri time and every iftar time and with every namaz for one thing that we have a reconciliation. I would like to ask as many people as possible if you will also remember me in your prayers this Ramadan and please please pray that my mother forgives me.
I hope my prayers will be answered. If this happens it will truly be a miracle.
(My father passed away several years ago may Allah grant him a place in heaven. Just in case you’re wondering.)
I hope things get better for you, iA. You need to give her a hug, paao parh jao, do whatever it takes. She's your mother, you need to go beyond limits to try to win her back. Good luck.
I will definitely pray for you my dear !! Ins Allah everything will be ok.
I dont know if its right or wrong what i am going to say...
But i think if you have asked for forgiviness many times and still keep on doing so ..then Allah will never pinish you for this and will always listen to you prayer. As long as you ask for forgiviness from the bottom of you hearth and you are extremely sorry ..then you will see that this mistake will no lnger be urs.
Allah also don't like stubborn people and unfortunately in this matter its your mom, but i hope she will learn to forgive people how big the mistake is.
Thats why they say : galti karni walle se maafi dene waala bharra hota hai ( if this is the right sentence)
Its ok what you mom is doing ..don't take to hard!! Its still you mom and will always be your mom.Bas ab tum koi galti mat karna ..just smill when you see her ..
some parents are like that ..don't forget ..parents ke bhi hakook hote hai ..they have also responsibilities ..
I totally understand what u might be going through.. one of my really really good friends had this problem and in the end it took a bunch of us.. including me to make her parents realize that she was their flesh and blood.
Dont give up.. try and sit down with her.. email her your thoughts.. call her up and check on her. Sit with her at the same table if your at a gathering.. iA one day things will get better.. I know it might be hard, but you have to maintain ur grounds and make her realize that u know u made a mistake and u acknowledge it.
I agree with what shay said about the Paao Parh Jaao wali baat!
Insha'Allah may Allah make your situation easier for you.
As a daughter too...I know that there is no mistake big enough that your mother is not willing to forgive you for..yes she may still be upset etc., but let her speak her mind, all you need to do is hear her out...and as advice keep asking for forgiveness without holding any kind of resentment yourself...one day she will realize if you are persistent enough...just dont give up or feel disheartened..after all she is your mother and she loves you.
blossom: I felt like crying after reading what you wrote:(...It really got to me..Inshallah I will keep you in my prayers during this month. If you dont mind what is it that you did wrong??
jairi langay maa di wich hidmat jae ibadat di raat koi ni
jenu maa ne sabira dukh dita honi hashr che udhi nijaat koi ni
u must have done somefin really bad to upset her (not coming to any conclusions) so dont get me wrong... its u wh0 need to seek her forgiveness n may Allah give ur mum the courage to forgive u AAMEEN n if u pray n pray then u will get ur reward.. Mums are da best gift ne1 can get after emaan in dis world.. so sister u need to do alot .. We all go the wrong way at times but the early u realize ur mistake n not to repeat it again ur forgiven of ur sin..
Assalamalaikum.
For a few years now my mother has not spoken to me. Well, we werent close at all in the first place but something happened a few years ago after which she totally cut off and refuses to acknowledge my existence. I still occasionally take the kids to see her but I am ignored.
I know we made a mistake but that was a long time ago and she is very stubborn and the sort of person who holds agrudge till the bitter end. She doesnt like to give a second chance.I do not want things to be left like this indefinitely as you dont know whats going to happen in the next minute.
Many people in the family have tried for a reconciliation, me and my husband went to see her for this purpose but she just keeps repeating the past and wont let go. If I go to a family gathering and try to shake her hand she will not take my hand and turns away.
My eyes are filling up as I type even though we were never close she is still my mother.
The reason I am telling you this is that in this blessed month of Ramadan I am praying and fasting and then I am thinking are any of my prayers being accepted when my own mother will not give me the time of day? How can my prayers be accepted.
I pray every sehri time and every iftar time and with every namaz for one thing that we have a reconciliation. I would like to ask as many people as possible if you will also remember me in your prayers this Ramadan and please please pray that my mother forgives me.
I hope my prayers will be answered. If this happens it will truly be a miracle.
(My father passed away several years ago may Allah grant him a place in heaven. Just in case you're wondering.)
wud u mind tellin us what was the issue? the reason i m askin is, i dun understand how big this issue is that she is being so stubborn? if she is, i m sure the reason must b really big... so until we understand what the root of the prb is, its difficult to give the best solution.
I will definitely pray for you my dear !! Ins Allah everything will be ok.
I dont know if its right or wrong what i am going to say...
But i think if you have asked for forgiviness many times and still keep on doing so ..then Allah will never pinish you for this and will always listen to you prayer. As long as you ask for forgiviness from the bottom of you hearth and you are extremely sorry ..then you will see that this mistake will no lnger be urs.
Allah also don't like stubborn people and unfortunately in this matter its your mom, but i hope she will learn to forgive people how big the mistake is.
Thats why they say : galti karni walle se maafi dene waala bharra hota hai ( if this is the right sentence)
Its ok what you mom is doing ..don't take to hard!! Its still you mom and will always be your mom.Bas ab tum koi galti mat karna ..just smill when you see her ..
some parents are like that ..don't forget ..parents ke bhi hakook hote hai ..they have also responsibilities ..
But no more mistakes from your side !!
Godd luck ..i hope it helped...
Allah Hafiz
I totally agree with this point of view and I hold the same POV.
May Allah be happy with you and shower you with His mercy. Ameen.
I hope your prayers will be answered also! I can emphasize with you as my own story is similar to yours; only difference is, in my case it's my Father and for you your Mother.
Assalamalaikum.
For a few years now my mother has not spoken to me. Well, we werent close at all in the first place but something happened a few years ago after which she totally cut off and refuses to acknowledge my existence. I still occasionally take the kids to see her but I am ignored.
I know we made a mistake but that was a long time ago and she is very stubborn and the sort of person who holds agrudge till the bitter end. She doesnt like to give a second chance.I do not want things to be left like this indefinitely as you dont know whats going to happen in the next minute.
Many people in the family have tried for a reconciliation, me and my husband went to see her for this purpose but she just keeps repeating the past and wont let go. If I go to a family gathering and try to shake her hand she will not take my hand and turns away.
My eyes are filling up as I type even though we were never close she is still my mother.
The reason I am telling you this is that in this blessed month of Ramadan I am praying and fasting and then I am thinking are any of my prayers being accepted when my own mother will not give me the time of day? How can my prayers be accepted.
I pray every sehri time and every iftar time and with every namaz for one thing that we have a reconciliation. I would like to ask as many people as possible if you will also remember me in your prayers this Ramadan and please please pray that my mother forgives me.
I hope my prayers will be answered. If this happens it will truly be a miracle.
(My father passed away several years ago may Allah grant him a place in heaven. Just in case you're wondering.)
Im sorry to hear what you have been going through. Inshallah, things will get better. Parents can be so stubborn sometimes, but at the end of the road, they are your parents. :)
I would suggest reaching out to people to help you get through to your mother. Maybe she needs a peer, an adult to show her she needs to forgive you now. An aunt, friend or uncle maybe? Sometimes adults wont listen to their children but will listen to someone their own age.
