Hi everyone. I am writing here after getting dissappointed from all the other sources, in the hope that being a Pakistani and a Muslim, maybe i will be able to get some kind of help from my own people. Here is my story. My parents, citizens of Pakistan, came to United States in 2005 when I, their daughter sponsored them to migrate here. When they came they didn’t have a lot to survive in this country but knowing that they are hardworking, we had no worries that they will make ends meet. I didn’t like to see them work so hard in this age (65 (dad) and 54(Mom)) , but atleast I was satisfied that they had a job and they were happy. The reason they came to this country was that my father had lost his job in Pakistan after working for a company for 25 years, because the company was closing. Not being able to get another job in this age, he thought of coming to the US, and the fact that their daughter (me) along with my kids were here in the US, was another plus point for them. Right after they came here they started working as sales associates at Walmart in NJ. They rented a small second floor apartment and were very happy until the horrible night of October 4th 2008. On their way back from work, my dad was going up the stairs in his apartment when he lost his balance and fell all the down, tumbling from the top of the stairs. That was what seemed lilked the end of the world to my mom who helplessly watched my father fall down, from the top of the stairs but couldn’t stop him. The neighbors came out when they heard my mother scream and called for help. By the time my father reached the hospital, the doctor told us that he has broken his neck as a result of the fall and that his spinal cord has been damaged damaing most of the nerves in his body. He said that my father will be paralyzed neck down for the rest of his life. just imagine the scenario for a second when the doctor told us all this. Ife for my parents had taken a very bad turn, and everything was finished within a second. I wish that second hadn’t come in my parents life. Now five months after my fathers injury, he is still paralized with no funstional movements in his arms, hands, and legs. He cant even hold anything in his hands, since the fingers dont work, he cannot sit since his trunk doesn’t have any strength, standing is out of question. He cannot do anything for himself. My mother has been taking care of him 24/7 since the first day of his injury. They both cant go back to work because of all this. They have no income and medical bills are herendous. One thing that they need the most is physical help at home. Somebody like a home health aid to come and take care of him. My mom has to lift my dad twice her size and put him in and out of bed. She is burnt out, and I am afraid that she will be sick herself if she doesn’t get any help soon. We, the family have been doing whatever possible to help them but its not enough. Living here in the US, they could be entitled to a lot of help through the government programs, but unfortunately to be aligible for any program whatsoever, you have to be a permanant resident of this country for atleast five years, and they have only been here for three years.
I am asking for help from any of my brothers and sisters who are reading this message. I am trying to raise money for my father so that he can afford to hire help for himself. He cries all night and prays allah for his death because he cant see my Mom in so much pain that she is going through while taking care of him. Imagine a petite woman lifting a 160 pounds man and doing all the care from feeding to catherization. I am really requesting all if you to please help us in this crisis. Spinal cord injury is a devastating thing, and being financially unstable on top of that doesn’t help things much. Please help me help my dad. He did everything to make my life full of happiness when I was dependant on him, when I was little. Now he is dependant on everyone and I cannot help him enough. I die a little everyday seeing him like this. My father, my hero, a retired major general of Pakistan Army. Please pray for him that Allah shows a miracle of healing my father. Please forward this to whoever you want… Anyone who would like to help, please contact me at my email:
I'm sorry to hear your story. Wouldnt it be a better idea to move back?Help back home would be more affordable and your dad's medicals wont be a problem either cos of his army background. It is an unfortunate situation but with some adjustments and compromises, things might not be so bad... ? you guys could help out a little and with his pension and free medical back home, I'm sure it,d be alot more affordable. It means however that he'd be a bit far from you and the kids so you might have to make frequent trips back home till things settle down a little but I'm sure he'll have other loved ones around...?
I'm sure you've considered all this anyway... Hope things get better for you :) I'll pray.
I'm sorry did you say your dad is 65, a retired Major General from the Pak Army, and then lost his job that he worked 25 years in cos the company was closing?? Sorry, doesnt make much sense to me.
Re: Please help my father in this critical situation!
According to INS, if they cannot pay their medical and other bills then you as their sponsor are responsible to pay. In that case, you may be eligible for some financial assistance.
Also, if they are legal residents here, I'm sure they would be eligible for some sort of aid, whether its handicapped housing or medical coverage. You should persue this a bit further I think. Try calling INS and Social Security Disability offices in your area and they can give you some good advice.
In the meantime, have you tried your local Mosque? Perhaps they can get together a number of volunteers who would be kind enough to come in and assist your mom with care.
I'm sorry did you say your dad is 65, a retired Major General from the Pak Army, and then lost his job that he worked 25 years in cos the company was closing?? Sorry, doesnt make much sense to me.
^ Agreed because a Maj (R) General at retirement could be between 55-58 years. Less than 60 years for sure. You are only allowed to work and serve for the Army - no other 2nd job is allowed unless of course you do it in complete secret, under your spouse's name, or another name etc.
Also a retired Major General from the Pakistan Army gets the most wonderful facilities and treatment after retirement - as this is a big honour to be a Maj General. He will get complete free medical treatment during his service and after until his death.
According to INS, if they cannot pay their medical and other bills then you as their sponsor are responsible to pay. In that case, you may be eligible for some financial assistance.
Also, if they are legal residents here, I'm sure they would be eligible for some sort of aid, whether its handicapped housing or medical coverage. You should persue this a bit further I think. Try calling INS and Social Security Disability offices in your area and they can give you some good advice.
In the meantime, have you tried your local Mosque? Perhaps they can get together a number of volunteers who would be kind enough to come in and assist your mom with care.
Well Saima, so sorry to hear about your dad's illness and all the other circumstances. I pray that ALLAH grant your father the best of health and the adverse conditions get straightened. Aameen.
And I think you have come to the right forum. We'll try our level best to help you out. Ofcourse this situation may happen with anyone at anytime.
Can you please let us know some more details, like what is your legal status here (I assume you are a citizen and your parents a GC holder), which organizations have you contacted so far etc?
Re: Please help my father in this critical situation!
Thanks for all the advice. Let me just make it clear that my father took an early retirement from the Army many years ago because he needed to take care of his ill father. after his retirement he started working as a marketing manager for a private company. Due to the fact that he asked for early retirement himself, he was not entitled for any benefits through pakistan Army. I have no reason to make up this stuff. As far as moving back to Paksiatn, it is not a wise dicision because he wouldn't have any job there and also the medical treatment that he now requires because of his injury and the physical therapy that he is getting here in this country is not possible back home. We are paying for his medical insurance etc. so he can atleast continue treatment. I have looked into social security disability, Medicaid, Medicare, Long term disability etc., but he is not eligible for any of it. He will get Medicaid after 2 years. Believe me I think at this point I know everything by heart. I have written to all the senators, assemblymen, governor of NJ and also to President Obama, requesting to make an exception to the Medicaid rule for him, but I have gotten a negative response from everywhere. I really appreciate everyone's time to read this post. Thank You
Re: Please help my father in this critical situation!
SID_NY,
Yes I am a US Citizen and my parents green card holders. I have contacted Department of Social Services, Social Security Administration, Department of Aged, Temporary Assistance office etc.
Salam,
Saima please check this link, this is for a GOLD card which is available in Texas,
your father is eligible for this card and this card can cover his major portion or all of it! please vist and download the form, … but he need to move in Texas …
SID_NY,
Yes I am a US Citizen and my parents green card holders. I have contacted Department of Social Services, Social Security Administration, Department of Aged, Temporary Assistance office etc.
Um.. I tried calling you and left a vm. We can start over the whole campaign to get you help while exhausting the resources that we know inside these institutions. Its never easy but its doable, I'm more than 100% sure.
