Re: please help me!
Ive never been to this section of Gupshup, its very depressing. So i haven't gone thru all her posts, but i'm almost very sad and concerned. Divorce is a big thing, HUGE.
DA sweetie, let me tell you very simply. You know back in the time when our mother's were newly married, I know alot of aunties, my mom, her friends etc. That got married, and their sister in laws and mother in law's turned total witches. They would manipulate the groom, and say exactly the same thing, kay is ko tu kaam kerna nahi atta etc etc. But One thing those aunties did, They quietly took the verbal torture, sweetie app ye socho, kay Allah will give you savaab, and Allah will punish them. Depression is haraam.
Please do not be depressed and do not let them get to know, which is very difficult. If your mother in law says. "iron these clothes, make **biryani! **do the laundry, clean this room etc etc your reply should be "JEE" and smile and do it. You will HATE IT, but do it. Your Husband will see that you are taking vcare of his parents, that they are making you work A LOT but you are not complaining, and he will take care of you. Tell him slowly, if he asks if your tired, say something nice, but do not whine or complain.
If he wants kids, talk to him, be like you want kids as well etc etc but maybe you guys should wait until you are financially stable and together, as it would be very difficult for you and the child to be without the father. And bring the biggest point, how will you raise a child alone, why does he want to miss out on his child life, the frist few years are magical. etc I do not want to suggest taking a UID or IUD or whatever it is even birth control as they all have side effects.
DA, you will have to be strong, be nice to them. Act very very very sweet to them, they will all respect you soon Inshallah and I pray that Allah swt helps you and gives you the courage to go thru this and the you get the respect and happiness you deserve Inshallah.
But First talk to your husband, tell him that you are sorry for your dramatic behavouir and it might be because you miss your home and you wanted a loving marraige and it didn't start that way so you panicked etc etc and be like you want to start again as you love him and want his babies etc etc etc I know it sucks that he forces you to have sex and although Islamically you are supposed to have sex with him, but if your husband knows that u dont want too and yet he still does it, then he will get gunaah for it. Just PRAY and PRAY AND PRAY and be happy, or at least act happy in front of them. Good luck!