I truly feel for your cousin, as no woman deserves this. Among other restrictions, I believe our faith only allows for multiple marriages with the blessings of each, respective, wife. I hope your cousin will never permit her husband to re-marry, therefore making his marriage to this other woman morally and legally wrong in more ways than one.
Has your cousin ever tried using logic with her husband? Money makes a lot of sense to a lot of people. Does he understand the costs involved with running two completely separate households? Not to mention any legal fees he will incur with immigration proceedings for this other woman? Or how about the amount of money he will loose when she divorces his sorry ass? Alimony? College tuition? Does he really want to lead a life of financial and emotional ruin this late in the game?
Anyway, it seems as though things are headed in a better direction for this couple. Something that is not mentioned often on these forums is counseling. I believe this couple really needs to speak to a professional to sort out their differences if they want to continue with a future together. I can't imagine that the wife has much faith or trust left in her husband. And what kind of husband is he after all, if he is lusting for another? Perhaps he needs a third person to help him realize what a gem of woman he has. Or perhaps she needs someone objective to show her what a jackass he is.
Finally, I suggest that your cousin speak to a religious adviser. Have them clarify what our faith says about polygamy and infidelity (both with mind and body.) Once she gets a clear answer she should take her husband to this person as well so that he is also aware of the serious offenses that he is committing.
I pray for the children in this sad situation. I hope they will never have to hear of their father's shortcomings.
tell it right to the kids in an acceptable way and bring the daddy. he should himself give it in writing that he wants a new life and is leaving them so later in future she can show it to the kids. it is rightly true that whosoever in husband and wife decides of quitting can't be brought back. so, go legally have a complete agreement on the children expenses as per rules and then let him go. and the other woman might face the same situation any moment. don't ever let that man come back. make ur children closer to you.
thanxs every one for your replies if it wasnt for you lot she was so mad and was about to let him go ahead with it she was feeling she was in the wrong thinking about islaam allows multiple marriages so when she read your replies and how concerns you were she then realised she was going to make big mistake thanx again and now they are happy together at the moment trying to put things behind but only time will tell what will happen god know best
thanxs every one for your replies if it wasnt for you lot she was so mad and was about to let him go ahead with it she was feeling she was in the wrong thinking about islaam allows multiple marriages so when she read your replies and how concerns you were she then realised she was going to make big mistake thanx again and now they are happy together at the moment trying to put things behind but only time will tell what will happen god know best
Thank you for the update sana020477. Its remarkable that we were able to make a difference. I'm not sure if everyone is aware of the impact an online community can make.
If she ever feels up to it, I know there are many of us here who would love to have her on the boards as well; it can be very cathartic.
lol where do these people come from, it's just not normal behaviour... a man with a wife of 14 years and 3 kids should know better than to not fall in love (wotever thats supposed to mean anyway) with any floosy that comes by. A woman who doesn't have enough decency to leave a man who has been married for 14 years and has 3 kids alone, is floosy.
It borders on retarded behaviour, monogamy should have been a pillar of Islam, being allowed to marry four women 'if' you can treat them all equally is like saying you can drink alcohol if you can drink just enough that it doesn't intoxicate you...ffs lol.
Hi i need you to advise on this please, my cousins husband says he loves her alot and want to have her permission to get married again and keep them both happy,his wife told him to choose between her and the other girl meaning his 14 years happly married life with 3kids or with someone he only knows for two months who he couldnt help and fell in love with her and has promised her to marry her. What do you think he should do?
I mean u can give him the ultimatum either have her or either have you and ur kids but not both.
And tell him, if he rejects u then he similarly he looses all his rightson the kids, he will not see them ever again.
Show him, thats your conditions because you have self-respect.
But id be extra weary of one thing. He may marry her behind your back. A lot of men do this.
Infact a relative of mine incurred the exact same problem--her hubby fell for a sickni-But he only told her when he bought her round after marrieing her.
U dont wanna know what happned next.