Re: please advise again
Any updates Sana?
[quote="shay9164, post:219, topic:187068"]
Any updates Sana?/quot
Well my cousin did phone the sikhni to back off but she says she cant because her parents and the whole village knows she is going to convert to islam and marry him so if nothing happens her life will be ruined my cousin said to her you can have him but he has to finish with me but she says please dont say this he loves you alot and we will do nothing without your permission even if it means i stay unmarried all my life....
my cousin says to her that she will never want to share her husband full stop then she hanged up.
The update is her husband was being very lovey towards her and after few days he asks again if he can marry her and now my cousin had enough from him he doesnt leave the house because he knows his rights as long as his not violent towards his wife the law cant force him to leave so my cousin is giving him a silent treatment but he still trying on her alot saying things like give me time to make the sikhni understand that he cant marry her anymore so my cousin beleived him so gave him time but the other day she put a recorder just by the phone and your not gonna beleive this he was talking to the sikhni and telling her to phone my wife and make her understand and win her heart so she could give us permision my cousin was shocked she didnt told him about the recorder all she said i know your up to something so she is giving him a silent treatment at the moment she will carry on recording whenever she gets the chance after ramadan because thats when things will start again.
please pray for her you should see the state of her she has lost a lot of weight and with the fasting she is going worse day by day she loves him alot thats why she is hurted alot.
Re: please advise again
hun, please tell her to pray two rakats salatul hajah and make dua for what's best is only known to Allah swt. tell her to record and keep track of every single thing because if she files for divorce, she will have all the proof.
hun, please tell her to pray two rakats salatul hajah and make dua for what's best is only known to Allah swt. tell her to record and keep track of every single thing because if she files for divorce, she will have all the proof.
Thankyou for your advice she will do that and can you tell me more about salatul hajah 1st time i heard thi dua.
sana, after reading your threads, this is my opinion:
First of all, the sikh lady has no clue what converting to Isam entails. Is she planning to run away or marry an older man with a wife and 3 kids with the blessings of her parents, and guess what, bonus bonus, convert as well.
Second, men like this fall in and out of love very fast. Chances are if he marries her, it'll be over as soon as he's had enough.
Third, I think your cousin should ask for a divorce if he still goes ahead with it. UK laws do not permit this, and she will have a fair trial, and get what she and the kids deserve.
Four, if she does go for a divorce, he should not be allowed to see her kids. It will be very painful for the children to communicate with a father who hurt their mom and is with another woman.
Finally, I think your cousin should involve some elders who should try to talk to her husband. I hope her marriage can be saved and she can forgive him eventually.
Yes, and get it all in writing.
The vows and promises of a man like this are like trash.
Thankyou for your advice she will do that and can you tell me more about salatul hajah 1st time i heard thi dua.
Sana, in salat ul hajjat, she needs to pray 2 rakat of nafl. After the namaz, she makes a dua e hajat where she asks specifically for what she wants. That dua is available online.
Go through a lawyer. House, expenses, child support -- all should be in writing.
I agree with YP.
Re: please advise again
hi things have turned really nasty last night my cousin sister rang that sikhni to tell her to back of or she will come after her to india and beat her up that sikhni told my cousins husband he then got angry my cousin then confronted him about she has been recording while his been on the phone with that sikhni and that he didnt finish with her they argued then he beated her up she then called the place and they arrested him but my cousin didnt want to press charges so they gave him warning and released him, his living with his brother at the moment noww but my cousin is still willing to have him back if he changes his way but we dont know if he will come back in 14years he has never seen a cell before he might change or he might never come please in this holy month pray for my cousin thanx.
Re: please advise again
Oh my goodness.
I think your cousin should not waste any more time. This is a very serious matter. She needs to sit down with family members and discuss her future. The thing is that if her husband has made up his mind, she needs to get over with the relationship or go through professional help. The hurt and strain would be too much to recover. The trust has been lost. Her husband not only had an affair but lied to her consistently after telling her that he is cutting off all relationship. Your cousin needs help.
hi things have turned really nasty last night my cousin sister rang that sikhni to tell her to back of or she will come after her to india and beat her up that sikhni told my cousins husband he then got angry my cousin then confronted him about she has been recording while his been on the phone with that sikhni and that he didnt finish with her they argued then he beated her up she then called the place and they arrested him but my cousin didnt want to press charges so they gave him warning and released him, his living with his brother at the moment noww but my cousin is still willing to have him back if he changes his way but we dont know if he will come back in 14years he has never seen a cell before he might change or he might never come please in this holy month pray for my cousin thanx.
He is beating up his wife of 14 years and the mother of his 3 kids over a woman he supposedly has never touched??!! Im so upset about this! How can he raise his hand on her? How can he hit his wife?
He is not to be trusted anymore. If that sikhni can exercise so much control over him sitting in INDIA, can you imagine what your cousin's life will be like once she gets HERE? Her husband will be out of control. There will be police at her house everday. This sikhni is not some love-struck innocent little village girl...she knows exactly what she is doing. Us bechari ka 14 years ka bana banaya ghar thordiya. Why does your cousin want to take him back? Her children cannot grow up seeing this happen to their mother!
I feel horrible for this poor woman, I will pray for her. Tell her to get her kids and get out of there! She needs her family and a lawyer ASAP.
He is beating up his wife of 14 years and the mother of his 3 kids over a woman he supposedly has never touched??!! Im so upset about this! How can he raise his hand on her? How can he hit his wife?
He is not to be trusted anymore. If that sikhni can exercise so much control over him sitting in INDIA, can you imagine what your cousin's life will be like once she gets HERE? Her husband will be out of control. There will be police at her house everday. This sikhni is not some love-struck innocent little village girl...she knows exactly what she is doing. Us bechari ka 14 years ka bana banaya ghar thordiya. Why does your cousin want to take him back? Her children cannot grow up seeing this happen to their mother!
I feel horrible for this poor woman, I will pray for her. Tell her to get her kids and get out of there! She needs her family and a lawyer ASAP.
she might take him back because she thinks he might learn his lesson now that this is england and the woman have more rights here and she wants to give him chance if he ever comes back i doubt it because the police said if he carry on with the affair we cant arrest him BUT you can go get a restraining order through your solicitors and get him to move out and because she has children the house automatically goes to the wife and now the police gave him a warning and if he ever lies a finger on him he will get locked up this time.
Re: please advise again
That's good she's in a country with rights and laws. Best of luck to your cousin.
Re: please advise again
i think the wife shoudl let go of the leash and let both dogs be together...they deserve each other.....
I truly believe Allah swt has bigger and better things in store for your cousin..Insha Allah....
Re: please advise again
Ask your cousin to do istikhara and pray to Allah (SWT) for guidance on this matter. I would take temporary separation from the husband for him to realise what he risks losing, if she takes him back so soon he will not learn from it. As for the other woman perhaps set a honeytrap for her if you have contacts in India!
i think the wife shoudl let go of the leash and let both dogs be together...they deserve each other.....
I truly believe Allah swt has bigger and better things in store for your cousin..Insha Allah....
Agreed!
Re: please advise again
thanks Psquared!
I hate men that abuse the name of Islam for their own advantages....they need to be bobbitted and have rocks thrown at them....grrrr.....
Re: please advise again
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hi things have turned really nasty last night my cousin sister rang that sikhni to tell her to back of or she will come after her to india and beat her up that sikhni told my cousins husband he then got angry my cousin then confronted him about she has been recording while his been on the phone with that sikhni and that he didnt finish with her they argued then he beated her up she then called the place and they arrested him but my cousin didnt want to press charges so they gave him warning and released him, his living with his brother at the moment noww but my cousin is still willing to have him back if he changes his way but we dont know if he will come back in 14years he has never seen a cell before he might change or he might never come please in this holy month pray for my cousin thanx.
ok sana, i can't stress this enough, Your cousin must end this NOW, she should just let him go, try to get as much out of the divorce settlement as she can and then just leave the rest to Allah,... (i know i am just a reader on the
internet but i truly truly believe my gut feeling here, about this)...
beatings and calling the police, if that has happened once, then thats it, its a pretty good predictor that it can happen again if this thing doesnt end (so end now, it must) ... this type of environment/behaviour (beatings, calling police) will have very NEGATIVE impact on the kids (100 times more negative than if your cousin breaks things off with the husband and starts life as a single/remarried mother to her kids)... your cousin may put up with all the hurt and even this type of violence/jhagray now, just hoping oh one day he will come to his senses etc.... (and yeah, one day he may) but meanwhile there will be damage occuring to the children ... before you know it your cousin will be dealing (Khudanakhawsta) with the HUGE behavioural/school/attitude/conduct Problems from the kids... uss beechari ko chain phir bhi nai milay gaa... iss se acha hei abhi se alaihda ho jayay, aur apnay bachon ki parvarish pe akeli heee concentrate karay... and she should sheild them from this type of environment (that is arising due to hers husband's inasnity)
Allah knows best, why your cousin has been put into this mushkil and whats behind this for her... and when can she expect some relief... but I hope that this is the extent of it, and when this ends and however it ends, your cousin can have a nice peaceful life with her kids, with no worries from her kids or from anyone or anything else ever again...