.
only house?. what if the new wife stopped her husband from paying for your cousins and kids expenses.
she should rethink and may ask him to pay her monthly some amount so your cousin can pay for living expenses. and make it a contract. no verbal contract. she will need money for living and she has to do make arrangements for it before he gets married.
trust me she will struggle. my aunty did the same but her husband never paid her and she struggled alot.
Re: please advise again
Go through a lawyer. House, expenses, child support -- all should be in writing.
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Im selling off my tv and ripping up my license... Who needs drama when i have this!!!
On a serious note...Sorry to hear about yuur predicament!
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Is your cousin in western countries? Are they allowed to have 2 wives?
Is your cousin in western countries? Are they allowed to have 2 wives?
no they are in uk they are not allowed to have two wives look at my previous post on please advice then you would know the full story.
Im selling off my tv and ripping up my license... Who needs drama when i have this!!!
On a serious note...Sorry to hear about yuur predicament!
You want to know the latest my cousin said to her husband if he goes to india to get marry she will get married to someone he knows and today he was on the phone with her and my cousin asked him if he could give her a number to make freinds with someone and marry them later and this is really annoying him.
Seriously looks like there is no ending to this story he is waiting for eid and then after thet god knows what is going to happen meanwhile he doesnt want to talk about it now just waiting see what he does.
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The man is mad. If u find out where this woman lives in india, u should get in touch with the local leader of their gurdwara and tell him that a member of your community who has recently been to UK wants to marry and married man and CONVERT her religion. This will soon put an end to any communication from that lady, as sikhs are not know for encouraging such behaviour!
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I agree with the first few posts...she needs to get everything down in writing BEFORE he enters this second marriage.
It seems as if he is insisting on doing this, which will be very painful for your cousin in the first place. Why take a risk and go through more? It will be hard enough sharing your husband...tell her to secure her lifestyle, children, etc so at least that aspect is taken care of. That way, she can come up with a solution for any problems she encounters on the marriage front or at least be able to deal with it if she wants to.
The house is not enough. Whatever financial arrangements they have right now must not be interrupted because he decided to marry again. Its not your cousin's problem and she is not required to compromise her lifestyle because of choices he makes independant of her.
Hi first of all thankyou for your advice on my previous post on please advice. My cousin has told her husband to go ahead and marry this other woman only if he signs the house over to her because she doesnt trust him even though he says he loves her but as you know you can never trust the other lady might turn around and say to him to leave his first wife. my cousin says if she is giving big sacrafice to share her husband she should grt something in return. What do you think did she made the right decesion?
This is what she should do: Get the house, leave the husband.
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^ exactly.
an if she doesn't want to leave him....i agree with Your President.
Here is advice from a Indian Sikh;
The whole situation with the Sikh woman supposedly wanting to marry a married Pakistani guy is very shady, especially Sikh women from India are very religious. Your cousins husband is not telling the full story.
The best way for your cousin is to contact the relatives of the "Sikh" woman, they will sort it out.
If your cousins husband goes to India, then there is good chance that he may go 'missing'. Honour killing is still pretty common in Indian Punjab.
yeah i agree with the poster above, and i have said something similar in your previous thread as well..
its kinda shady that this sikhni wants to get married to your cousin's muslim husband out of love and wants to convert to islam...
so either
1) the husband is not telling all,
2) or may be it really is some indian woman claiming to be of sikh faith, who is after your cousins husband, but definitely not for love, for some other purpose (perhaps securing a future in UK)
and also, about the question you ask in this post, if your cousin is making right decision about keeping the house, and permission for her husband to marry...
well here's what your cousion MUST do.... absolutely make sure that she involves a lawyer and gets the house transferred compltely legally to her name, before she lets her husband even so much as step near a plane or an airport...
and having things "In writing" from her husband alone is not going to help if a lawyer is not involved and proper documents are not drafted and signed,
any written piece of paper just from husband won't hold up in any court, so its not just "in writing" that your cousin should seek, but she should make sure the whole legal proceedure is followed... A lawyer and witnesses must be involved, and proper government/legal forms must be filled for the transfer agreement to be considered legal, and only those can be held up in a court...
You want to know the latest my cousin said to her husband if he goes to india to get marry she will get married to someone he knows and today he was on the phone with her and my cousin asked him if he could give her a number to make freinds with someone and marry them later and this is really annoying him. Seriously looks like there is no ending to this story he is waiting for eid and then after thet god knows what is going to happen meanwhile he doesnt want to talk about it now just waiting see what he does.
what do you mean ? you are saying your cousin's husband was talking to her on the phone.... are they living separately? give more details
if he is currently not in the same country/city as your cousin he needs to get his butt where your cousin lives, so that the whole legal process of the house transfer takes place in the presence of lawyers and proper officials.
also, i am really worried for your cousin, i think she seems to be a simple innocent woman, i am worried, that if she doesn't do everything right she might even end up loosing the house....i really hope she gets in touch with some sharp lawyers or social workers now, to make sure she gets the house NOW before the husband run offs ...
what do you mean ? you are saying your cousin's husband was talking to her on the phone.... are they living separately? give more details if he is currently not in the same country/city as your cousin he needs to get his butt where your cousin lives, so that the whole legal process of the house transfer takes place in the presence of lawyers and proper officials.
also, i am really worried for your cousin, i think she seems to be a simple innocent woman, i am worried, that if she doesn't do everything right she might even end up loosing the house....i really hope she gets in touch with some sharp lawyers or social workers now, to make sure she gets the house NOW before the husband run offs ...
No they are not separatd yet he was on the phone with the sikhni, he saying to my cousin he is still going ahead with this marriage and he knows she will forgive him and would not leave him or kick him out because my cousin loves him alot, he doesnt know my cousins plan when writes the house over she will kick him out of her life for good but he thinks she will let him have both.
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sana, after reading your threads, this is my opinion:
First of all, the sikh lady has no clue what converting to Isam entails. Is she planning to run away or marry an older man with a wife and 3 kids with the blessings of her parents, and guess what, bonus bonus, convert as well.
Second, men like this fall in and out of love very fast. Chances are if he marries her, it'll be over as soon as he's had enough.
Third, I think your cousin should ask for a divorce if he still goes ahead with it. UK laws do not permit this, and she will have a fair trial, and get what she and the kids deserve.
Four, if she does go for a divorce, he should not be allowed to see her kids. It will be very painful for the children to communicate with a father who hurt their mom and is with another woman.
Finally, I think your cousin should involve some elders who should try to talk to her husband. I hope her marriage can be saved and she can forgive him eventually.
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it is sad justy how cruelly and delibrately people destroy families.
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Im just thinking what the kids are going through... how much hatred they would have for this man who is supposed to love their mum "forever"..
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Dush, sadly these things are getting pretty common these days in our community. I don't know if couples are genuinely losing interest in each other or the options are greater. I don't know. I remember our grandparents sticking together together through thick and thin, when all the children were married and gone, their love was even stronger, not just a blessing for each other, but security for their children.
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^ who knows... maybe they get bored? People dont have the patience anymore. They dont have the same values that our parents or grandparents had instilled inside them..
makes me so sad..