Re: Pissed off
^
adam ko jannat se kis ne nikalwaya tha?
^ adam ko jannat se kis ne nikalwaya tha?
:D
^ adam ko jannat se kis ne nikalwaya tha?
aur ab hum yahaaN baiThay logooN kay paisay gin rahay haiN... aur inhay abhi bhi chain nahi aya.. roz naya khaRak kiya hota hay.. :)
Re: Pissed off
My advice - don't think too much about it. None of this seems so important in your life that you need to get riled up over. It's her husband, her visa, his entrance. Let it be.
I really feel like saying no to take care of the kid and also tell SIL how weird she is being. But I also know that it would be a very wrong time to do so cuz she could turn this into a situation where I am trying to ruin her happiness which I am not!!! I also feel that it would be too mean to say no to the kid cuz SIL just wants to get rid of him when her husband arrives and my husband already knows that we don’t have other plans for that day and I know that he will be spending time with his newphew even if I say that I am not feeling well. I have already told my husband that I really felt like saying NO to have the kid over cuz of SIL’s behaviour so I know that he will figure out if I try to get rid of it now!
Its just the whole stupid situation!!!most of all I am angry at hubby cuz he doesn’t even have the gutts to tell him sister that it would be nice if she told me cuz I will be happy for her. How stupid can men be!!!
I have decided to tell my FIL once he calls and mentions that SILS husband is coming – that oh well SIL hasn’t told me and just leave it there. Perhaps he can say a few words to his stubborn daughter. Cuz my husband isn’t gonna do that for ages yet!!
Look, chameli . feel free to take whatever you road you want to take, but I would suggest you drop the matter. I mean she's just not telling you stuff. She's not hurting you, she's not being mean . She's just dumping the kid on you- which you would gladly take, I gather, if she reciprocated your generosity. If you don't want to take care of the kid, then just say you're busy. But that's the most I would do.
Point #2. My brother is married. ANd honestly I don't really tell my bhabi too much either about what's going on my life. And I've known my bhabi since we were babies. The reason is is I'm still trying to get my own life settled (which is a sensitive part of every girl's life), while my SIL has it all made. And plus, no matter how close you are to your SIL, she's is not your sister or mom where she has to report everything to you.
It's obvious that your SIL is going through a lot of stress right now-- She apparently didn't have a happy first marriage I gather (b/c her marriage would make her hubby her son's step dad), she's a single mom, trying to get through life and get settled. She's has enough on her plate then worrying about what her bhabi is thinking about her.
If you don't want to take care of the kid, then that's your right and tell her that your busy; if you do, then do it out of SINCERE GENEROSITY with NO STRINGS ATTACHED> but please stop causing unnecessary drama by complaining about how she doesn't tell you stuff (of all the things in the world you could complain of!!!!!)about her life. It's her life, if she wants to keep it private, then it's her right.
well u r right.it is her full right not to tell me anything.but then it is not my duty to take care of her son and she cant expect that just by mailing only my husband and not asking me she can just come and disturb my plans
I had planned a birthday party for my hubby that is now cancelled cuz of her interference.
if she wants the relationship to be based on only what her rights and duties then she should also keep her expectations to me at that same level.
Re: Pissed off
^^ i agree with u 100%
at first i didn't think of all the points u mentioned, but u r right abt not being a sister just a sil... n how that could cause a little distance in btw.
chameli i think u should let it go this time, and if this cont. thn have a nice talk with her, tell her that it hurts u when she doesn't share everything with u n that u wuld like to be more like a sister thn a sil.
Re: Pissed off
Despite of whatever stress she is going through, it's WRONG to just call up your husband and tell him to take care of the child without informing YOU. She should have spoken to you and ASKED if it's okay for her to do that. Instead of depending on your husband to do anything (which he obviously wouldn't), you need to start taking care of stuff yourself. Have the guts to tell her off regardless of what her reaction will be. If she thinks you're ruining her happiness, LET HER. You don't need to care about what she thinks, she sounds like an idiot. It's nice that you care for the kid and are willing to baby sit him but at the same time, you should call her up and tell her she needs to ask your permission next time before she drops her kid off and disrupts your plans. You need to stand up and do something about this otherwise she's gonna keep walking all over you and all you'll do is get frustrated.
well u r right.it is her full right not to tell me anything.but then it is not my duty to take care of her son and she cant expect that just by mailing only my husband and not asking me she can just come and disturb my plans I had planned a birthday party for my hubby that is now cancelled cuz of her interference.
Then just tell her nicely that you're too busy that day, and can't take care of her kid. Don't lecture her (your not her mother) or complain to any1 abt her; just tell her you can't do it, you have other plans.
Re: Pissed off
Well not telling you stuff is her choice obviously... its still a little rude, and especially since her husband is coming from pakistan its not some little thing that would go unnoticed... there is no point in sharing that... thats just catty, but whatever...
and usually women talk to the other women in the family when arranging things... like my phoppo's and chachi's will talk to my mom when they need something or invite our family somewhere... not my dad.
maybe you should tell your husband that next time she needs something, he doesn't have to say no, but he could just be like oh wait let me ask my wife first and make sure. Or here why dont you just ask her. And you dont have to say no, but that way she will realize that you have a say too...
Hope it gets better:)
maybe you should tell your husband that next time she needs something, he doesn't have to say no, but he could just be like oh wait let me ask my wife first and make sure. Or here why dont you just ask her. And you dont have to say no, but that way she will realize that you have a say too...
EXCELLENT WAY TO HANDLE IT!!!
Then just tell her nicely that you're too busy that day, and can't take care of her kid. Don't lecture her (your not her mother) or complain to any1 abt her; just tell her you can't do it, you have other plans.
Well my husband made me cancel his birthday party and now there is no excuse that we cant have him over.
instead hubby will mid if I say no now.
This is not only about sil.also about hos hubby deals with this whenever she interferes.
I dont want to complain to a person who is only sending negative signals to me. when we visit her, she is not bothered to come and say salam, and when she sees that hubby is playing with her son, she starts her laptop and surfs the internet rather than speaking to me so her general behaviour is quiet rude and when she on top of that behaves like this expecting me to cancel myt stuff for a person like her it just pisses me off!!!
Well my husband made me cancel his birthday party and now there is no excuse that we cant have him over. instead hubby will mid if I say no now. This is not only about sil.also about hos hubby deals with this whenever she interferes.
I dont want to complain to a person who is only sending negative signals to me. when we visit her, she is not bothered to come and say salam, and when she sees that hubby is playing with her son, she starts her laptop and surfs the internet rather than speaking to me so her general behaviour is quiet rude and when she on top of that behaves like this expecting me to cancel myt stuff for a person like her it just pisses me off!!!
Seems like more of a communication problem between you and your husband that you need to deal with first that really doesn't involve your SIL.
*One that issue is settled, tell your SIL directly- what you are telling us (a bit toned down though), and how it offends you. Don't gossip/complain abt her action/rudeness to anyone else. *
Do NOT complain to your husband about how your SIL does this and that. It will go in one ear and out the ear and you main pt will be lost in the gibberish.
Just tell him that he needs to check that if your plans are being distubed before saying yes to babysitting the kid.
Seems like more of a communication problem between you and your husband that you need to deal with first that really doesn't involve your SIL.
*One that issue is settled, tell your SIL directly- what you are telling us (a bit toned down though), and how it offends you. Don't gossip/complain abt her action/rudeness to anyone else. *
Do NOT complain to your husband about how your SIL does this and that. It will go in one ear and out the ear and you main pt will be lost in the gibberish. Just tell him that he needs to check that if your plans are being distubed before saying yes to babysitting the kid.
Well i know that part of the problem is communication between me and hubby and between him and sil. That what I started the topic with!!
Hubby always asks me before saying to her but he just did it in such a hurry this time that I didn’t get a chance to revise things before he had replied the mail.
Well i know that part of the problem is communication between me and hubby and between him and sil. That what I started the topic with!! Hubby always asks me before saying to her but he just did it in such a hurry this time that I didn’t get a chance to revise things before he had replied the mail.
well what's done is done then! There's no reason to harp about what's already been done.
Just tell him, NEXT TIME, please, please, make sure.......
You know, it would be a LOT EASIER if you just took the higher road, ignored her rudeness, and took care of the poor kid. The kid would LOVE YOU SO MUCH MORE when he's older. Just a thought.
There are always going to be rude people. Some people will never change. It would do you good though if her rudeness made YOU into a better person.
Re: Pissed off
yeh larkioon kuch ziada hi gussa aata hy.
I wonder why.
y u had to cancle ur husband's birthday party....
was it jst two of u or u invited other people too....
how about you let the kid join you or u guys can go out for something and take the kid with you....
if your husband always talk to u before replying on ur behalf and this was the only time when he hurried up and replied than i think there is no issue......
kabi kabi ho jata hai....
as others said y dont u talk to ur SIL nicely that sometimes its hard to change schedule at the last minute when she only informs ur husband and not her....
Re: Pissed off
In times like this, I am glad I am a little full of myself, it doesn’t bother me one bit what SIL is doing to hubby or what BIL is doing to FIL, etc. All that is none of my concern. Just kidding.
On a serious note, Chameli, I agree with Mirch, learn to be happy. Do you really realise that you are making a huge thing out of absolutely nothing?
I have 2 brothers and they’re not married yet but I feel like I can count on them 100%, so if I ever call my brother and ask him to keep (one of my 5 kids with prayer names, let’s say Asr :halo:), because I have to deal with a family issue, i.e. get hubby or something, then I kind of expect him to be there for me. This is more important than a birthday party!!!
Now if my brother’s wife is upset that she has to cancel the birthday party to keep my son Asr - then that’d create very negative feelings in my heart. Probably because I think birthday parties for full grown adults are stupid. But that’s my opinion and what I am trying to tell you here is that - every single person is different, and looks at situations differently. So - be the better person. Don’t complain about your SIL, I frankly don’t seee why you should on the first place. Trust me, you’ll be better off.
I like how you don’t have a problem with the boy, just how the adults are making you feel. But this is where you need to look at yourself and think highly of yourself, once you start feeling better about yourself, you’ll forget about others.
Re: Pissed off
Excellent idea anny, the three of you should celebrate the birthday together :)