Physical relationships and marriage

Reha · December 28, 2014, 3:46pm

Re: Physical relationships and marriage

That won’t happen, he’s set to marry that girl very soon. The reason why I’m defensive is that I believe everyone deserves a chance, if someone wants to change themselves then they can. It’s not like the raped anyone. Whatever he did had the consent of both parties. But in other words I want him to get married and settle down when he has the time, before something goes wrong now that he has time. I know his family and his parents, they’re modest and good folk and if I can convince him to get married and better his life then I’m all for it. I think that if he misses the chance to marry this seeta savatri girl then he’ll end up with some horrible woman who’s going to never understand where he’s coming from. And THAT will cause him to end his marriage and plunge right back in to promiscuity again. He doesn’t need a woman like himself. He needs someone who’s humble and is willing to forgive his sins.

I also think he should get himself tested before he gets married. STD’s are real. He needs to have some sort of proof that he’s not carrying anything around.

I think he needs to understand one thing:

IF this girl accepts him with all of his baggage…HE needs to work his butt off to walk a straight line. Not expect the girl to be humble and keep forgiving him. He will have to squash his ego and realize…now that he’s opened up about his past…there’s no guarantee of anything and his marriage will require A LOT of work. He should never have told her, realized his error and corrected himself BUT now that he did…he should be prepared to live with the consequences.

If she didn’t know, she would have trusted him right off the bat. Now that she knows…he will have to work to build her trust in him. That’s just how it is. Live with it…not fair but such is life when you make stupid choices.

There will always be a certain amount of doubt in her mind about his fidelity and it will take a while for it to go away…he will have to prove himself to her. Again, such is life.

If your friend is not ready to give his lifestyle up, he needs to take a step back from this marriage or at least postpone it. Otherwise, he will be in a bigger mess when he’s stuck in a miserable marriage with a partner who cannot trust him.