Re: Physical Involvement
Yeah don’t tell every single prospect about past and no need to tell if they don’t ask or care. But for those that do care, tell the person once you trust them and you know they won’t do you wrong by hurting your reputation. But don’t lie or hide if they ask you straight up. If my future fiance asked me to tell her about my past, I would tell her. I wouldn’t be asking her for forgiveness that’s between me and Allah, but I would want her to know so that it doesn’t break trust in the future if she finds out after marriage. Trust me, stuff often comes out in the open at some point better to be upfront about it to significant other. It takes years and years to build a true relationship but only seconds to destroy it. And to hide 1 lie, it takes several more lies, just a bad habit to have in a relationship. Not worth the risk for me.
In your story about your friend, your friend she did the right thing, it’s the husband doing wrong by constantly bringing it up during fights. People get emotional during fights and when a person is emotional it’s sometimes difficult to be rational at that time and we all have said stupid stuff during fights that we don’t necessarily mean. We often use whatever ammunition we have in fights, and I’m sure both of them do say things they don’t necessarily mean during those heated fights. Unfortunately he chooses to rub her past in her face to make her feel bad or guilty during heated arguments–its wrong he does that. He feels bad about it afterwards when he is in a more rational state of mind and I hope he apologizes for his mistakes. I’m not saying it’s right and neither am I condoning it, but I can understand the situation.