Physical Involvement

[ekumunng]

Re: Physical Involvement

@TLK

I have been married for almost 19 years now, so kind of an old timer, but honestly if I was going today and marrying for the first time, I would never ask my spouse this stupid question if she is a virgin or not. You pick a person for what the person is, not what he or she was. Unless you are marrying a known criminal, you should have enough confidence on your choice. If you have to ask such question, then it shows your insecurity more than the other person’s. If you are that insecure about what you are getting into, walk away without asking that question. Don’t embarrass the other person, and also yourself.

Virginity is not the issue here, it’s about lying like Icono said.

Obviously it is stupid to ask question like that and that too in first few meetings. On many occasions it is not even possible to have this type of conversation but if the girl asks about my past, I should be honest and let her make the decision.

We always hear honesty is the best policy or it takes a strong person to admit his/her mistakes and correct them.

It is something entirely different than advertising your colorful past everywhere and on every opportunity. If you are serious about the rishta and this question has been asked then answer it honestly. If that person backs off, great you’ve saved that person and yourself of a miserable future. If not then appreciate the strength of that person and be loyal to them from now on.

What I’ve understood from posts here is that if you’re asked this question, then either you

1. refuse to answer
2. lie
3. use the religion card (it’s between me and Allah)

whereas the sensible option, my view, is tell them truth!