^Snowy Winter
I never said that ALL girls from ALL educated families are married off to just anyone. I was talking about how many mothers (even those who are educated) who value blind obedience when it has the potential to fail big time.
I'm not trying to paint women as the victims here. I'm only addressing double standards that society has toward men and women/sons and daughters. And YES.........it IS a GIVEN that every girl is different............every family is different..........every situation is different. Some people (male or female/parents) are more shallow or open-minded than others. I get that. As mentioned earlier, I'm only talking about the double standards that are often seen......or that I've personallly observed.
If physical attraction is the SOLE factor that one consideres for marriage............then YES........that is shallow. But there's nothing wrong in wanting someont that you find physically compatible AND mentally/emotionally compatible as well. There's nothing wrong in wanting a little bit of everything. One should AT LEAST find their partner decent looking.
To ignore physical attraction entirely..........is not right either. And few people can manage to do so. Most of us are not built that way. We have an innate desire for attraction. For those who can rid themselves of this desire...........more power to them. But we deal with "attraction" on a daily basis. We're less inclined to eat something that doesn't look appealing. When we go shopping (for clothes, a car, furniture, home, etc)...............we do take into account the way that the product looks and whether or not we find it visually appealing and whether or not we find it compatible to our needs.
Am I trying to reduce human beings to mere objects? **NO, that is not my intention here. **Rather, I'm pointing out that since we deal with attraction on a regular basis in other aspects of our lives..........................it's unreasonable to eliminate it entirely from the rishta and marriage scenario. And it's silly to say that having the desire to find an attractive mate is shallow. IF that's the case........then we shouldn't have preferences regarding aesthetics in other areas of our lives as well.
And YES........to emphasize again.............character should also be considered.....and not solely appearance.
I absolutely agree with you !!
And yes, like I mentioned there has to be atleast some attraction between the couple to increase the probability of a happy life.