I was just thinking most of us have probably been hit/slapped/“beat up” by our mother or father when we were growing up.
For the most part, we laugh it off now! And it is rather funnny. because it’s our parents.
What would your reaction be to Siblings doing the same. Like older siblings using physical violence towards younger ones?
Same? or diff? I think it is unacceptable.
Re: Physical abuse
As a parent I need to teach my children not to hit each other, and more importantly to not use hitting as a form of reprimand. But first I must set the right example as children learn by actions more than words.
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Hitting kids is wrong. We hit them because we know they cant not hit back.
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^i agree, but that aside, answer my question about siblings, and not parents.
Re: Physical abuse
As a parent I need to teach my children not to hit each other, and more importantly to not use hitting as a form of reprimand. But first I must set the right example as children learn by actions more than words.
so you think if you hit them, then the older kids will pick it up from you and exercise it on the younger ones? the same way they see you doing it?
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^i agree, but that aside, answer my question about siblings, and not parents.
when parents cant not/shout not hit kids, then no on can/should
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I hate any kind of child abuse , by anybody. To me kids are little angels , defenseless , fragile , and honest .
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^but they are being "batameez"?
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Siblings hitting each other can't be prevented, it's natural. What's wrong is when much older siblings resort to disciplining the younger ones. I saw this guy at a wedding once, his little brother did something and he just looked at him with a raised hand and said "Aik doon ga kaan ke neechay". Now I do that to my own brother sometimes but only in jest and in reference to that incident, I would never actually hit him. I think siblings should watch out for the younger ones, not parent them.
Re: Physical abuse
so you think if you hit them, then the older kids will pick it up from you and exercise it on the younger ones? the same way they see you doing it?
Yes absolutely. It's very easy to duplicate anger actions...it's like you don't need much effort to grow weeds in your garden but to grow flowers, you need to spend time, water, fertilizer etc... Yesterday, the husband and I were talking about someone we know and the older one came up to us and asked us why we were bad mouthing that person when we've taught her that tattling and carrying tales is a bad habit. So kids pick up on everything. We had to apologize to her and explain that we were just discussing a negative situation that needed our input but again...we did plant a negative seed in her mind by doing that. Hitting is very easy.
Re: Physical abuse
Siblings hitting each other can't be prevented, it's natural. What's wrong is when much older siblings resort to disciplining the younger ones. I saw this guy at a wedding once, his little brother did something and he just looked at him with a raised hand and said "Aik doon ga kaan ke neechay". Now I do that to my own brother sometimes but only in jest and in reference to that incident, I would never actually hit him. I think siblings should watch out for the younger ones, not parent them.
no, i am not talking about the stupid larayes. That's all normal. I was referring to the latter part of your comment. It's when the bara bhais, or bajis think they are some sort of a mini-parent that bothers me. What gives them that sense of authority.
Re: Physical abuse
Yes absolutely. It's very easy to duplicate anger actions...it's like you don't need much effort to grow weeds in your garden but to grow flowers, you need to spend time, water, fertilizer etc... Yesterday, the husband and I were talking about someone we know and the older one came up to us and asked us why we were bad mouthing that person when we've taught her that tattling and carrying tales is a bad habit. So kids pick up on everything. We had to apologize to her and explain that we were just discussing a negative situation that needed our input but again...we did plant a negative seed in her mind by doing that. Hitting is very easy.
mhmh ok.
so,
Do you guys think our society treats women differently than men in this regard? I have heard of girls being hit/slapped until theyre like practically married? Why are they always "younger" and practically "disciplined" by anyone.
Re: Physical abuse
Sadly, yes Molly. I have personally seen that in close families where brothers treat their sisters with disrespect even when they are adults. I can understand that it could be because of a concern for the sister's choices or her bad decisions..whatever, but there's a proper way of communicating with people. Any sort of abuse is a weakness on the part of the abuser.
But again, I've seen another form of abuse coming from sisters towards their brothers, especially after their marriages, where sisters are extremely demanding and judgemental towards their brothers.
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Boys get a lot more phainti than girls…
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^count on YOU to turn something i want to discuss into a man vs women thread.
go wash your face.
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I answered this question you asked… does society treats men differently…i said boys get more phainti…i Man vs Woman??..thats because thats what precisely your question was…
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i had chamats from my parents. and i think as siblings we barely had fights=/ it was a nono in my home .
but umhm most of the times parents hit to take out the frustration they are holding.It does do no good in child's character building (which is the imp part)
and plus wo insan hi kya jo zubaan ki na sunay aur jootay say sunay.
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^i dont care. this is not a thread for you to exhibit your sarcasm. It's polluted the other threads anyways.
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thats not sarcasm.....thats fact......boys get more phainti in school, from molvi saab, and from DAD too.....also chaachay maamay hit boys more......
i am only pointing out the physical abuse.....
you are right about treating girls as ''younger'' ones untill they are married.......
btw...when you talk about 'our society' you need to kinda specify what sort of people you are referring to......if you are referring to those who abort baby daughters, or don't send their girls to school etc etc.......i wasn't referring to those...
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OK OK 
! Back to the topic already!
Nomi has a point Molly, and Molly has a point Nomi. 