i have noticed that many girls have issues with their phuppos (dad’s sister) while most girls get on well with their khalas (mum’s sister).
I also get along with my khala and would share everything with her. I know she will never ever mean bad for me and love me like a kid whether i care for her or not. He love seems unconditional and she always look after me in anyway she can (we are in two different countries). my khala has always made effort to call us kids, even if we never bothered to return her calls or her gifts , she still continue to love her till date.
On the other hands, I can say that my relationship with my phupos is so formal, almost forced just to please my father.
I cannot recall any call from them, no gifts, no eid wishes. They always call my father on his mobile.
I understand they dont like our mum (sister in law riverlary and all) but i dont see their problem with us kids? I mean compare to them we are kids and most importantly we are their brother’s kids. Shouldnt they love us anyway? Our Phuppos always complain about us, gilla shikwa, compete with us as if we were their equal and talk bad about us when given the chance Why? They love their brother so why not the kids? why cant they look out for us instead of having a conditonal love?
Why would phupos ignore the brother’s kids just because they dont get along with the brother’s wife?
Whereas khala would still keep in touch with sister’s kids even if they dont like the sister’s husband.
Yesterday i overheard two girls on the bus who were comparing the phuppos vs the khala and apparently i am not the only one who has seen the difference of love between the two.
What is your say and experience regarding this topic?
not universally true. depends who [Khala vs Phuppho] has been closer to the person in terms of contacts. if they live in town or in the same country as the person then they would have a better relationship/closeness between them.
not universally true. depends who [Khala vs Phuppho] has been closer to the person in terms of contacts. if they live in town or in the same country as the person then they would have a better relationship/closeness between them.
in my case, i dont live with any of them. And see them equally.
I have heard this before and I have heard that the "reasoning" behind this is that phuppos think of your mom as the one who stole their brother away from them.
I don't have any phuppos. I have 5 khalas and overall they are caring. But overall, I don't trust many people from either side of my family so i think it's better to be polite but to keep a bit of a distance.
Who feeds (like lesson feeds) kids more and spends most of the time? Obviously mom. And dads are usually soft ones and nuetral too. So then if kids are inclined more towards khalas, i guess you know the reason.
Yes I just elaborated wut D6C and TLK said in a liner
Phuppos have a sense of possessive ownership to dads that khalas don't. My Phuppos always tell me about how my dad's their squishy baby brother AND mom's Phuppos do the same. Like I got it the first time...
my phuppos couldnt care less about anyone else apart from themselves and their families. One phuppo i get along with fine but my other phuppo is such hard work. Always so negative, doesnt smile, doesnt talk to immediate family properly, i.e. wont even talk to my dad properly, and as for talking to my mum.. well its the whole sister-in-law issue... she doesnt even talk to her own mum (my paternal grandma) properly. Like i get some people are not emotional or sociable whatsoever, but then you get my auntie. Honestly, when she speaks to me i get so surprised.
On the other hand my khalas are sooo much nicer and better. So bubbly, lively, cheery and just so welcoming and positive. They actually talk to me and ask about how my life is going etc etc.
its funny that you just asked this question because i was literally talking about this today as well.
Depends on the parents and what kind of relationship they have with their siblings.
I don’t have a phupho, so I don’t know really but I’ve a khala and I’m close to her, she is only 10-11 years older than me. I think I’m equally close to my nanke and dadke, but if I’ve to pick one - then I’m probably closer to my dadke as my dad is very close to his brothers and we spend a lot of time with them during childhood plus their kids are the same age as us while my nanke cousins are chotey bachey (a few of my nanke cousins are younger than my own kid, so yeah)
I don’t know why phuphos have such a bad image, I’m a phupho and I’m close to my nephews, I love them to bits, why wouldn’t I? They’re literally the mirror images of my brothers.
People having issues with phuphos is not necessarily because all phuphos are evil but that is because nobody would like to believe that their mom is at fault . After all not all phuphos can be evil , kaheen to mothers can also be wrong .
I am more close to my dadyaal . I love my phuphos and my dadyaal side cousins a lot more than my nanyaal.
People having issues with phuphos is not necessarily because all phuphos are evil but that is because nobody would like to believe that their mom is at fault . After all not all phuphos can be evil , kaheen to mothers can also be wrong .
I am more close to my dadyaal . I love my phuphos and my dadyaal side cousins a lot more than my nanyaal.
See, what i wonder is why cant they just not talk to the mother but still care for the brother's kids? I am not talking about who is evil between the phuppo and mum but why is there a difference of love between the phuppo and khala when there is a rift between bil/sil
I am close to my father's brother kids. No issues with them.
well i do think of the time when ill become a phuppho.
I am sur ei will love my niece/nephew to bits even if i dont get along with my sil. I think it is irrelevant to get along with the sil in order to love the kids.
(a few of my nanke cousins are younger than my own kid, so yeah)
