Phone Shenanigans

[Muzna]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

But wouldn't that break the girl's heart? She is really looking forward to the engagement. What should he do? he's has a conscience believe it or not.

wasn't he worried about breaking her heart when he participated in the sexting?

[redvelvet]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

^She participated in it as well; they both didn't think too much about the emotional consequences. But what happened is a big enough deal to her that she still wants to be with him...whereas he wants to cut her loose.

[Muzna]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

^She participated in it as well; they both didn't think too much about the emotional consequences. But what happened is a big enough deal to her that she still wants to be with him...whereas he wants to cut her loose.

I didn't mean to suggest that she didn't participate.
And actually we don't know if she thought about the emotional consequences or not.....maybe she did and she figured, I'm okay with this because he's my future husband.

[queer]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

or maybe she’s started the same thread on another forum. #whocaresreally](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=whocaresreally)

[redvelvet]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

I didn't mean to suggest that she didn't participate. And actually we don't know if she thought about the emotional consequences or not.....maybe she did and she figured, I'm okay with this because he's my future husband.

Maybe she did figure that and it was naive on her part because unless the rishta becomes official, there's never a guarantee you'll end up with that person. And even a baat pakki or an engagement is not secure enough to take as a license to have phone sex or real sex for that matter because it may not culminate in nikkah and the emotional ramifications of such intimacy will make things difficult for both parties...especially the girl as it affects them more strongly.

It seems he knew from the get-go that he wasn't that into marrying her as he was bothered by her height and disability so he should have kept his distance from her and now he's not keen on her whereas she is still committed to him. They both made mistakes but his current attitude/reaction is more telling of his character.

They've known each other only a few days. It would be harder to move on if it had been a longer and even more intimate duration. It's difficult for men to understand the emotional impact of such intimacy on girls. Afterwards when guys realize with greater clarity that they're not that into her or that the relationship is inconvenient for them and not worth the time and effort or the parental confrontation or other risks.....they either cut her loose abruptly or leave her slowwwlyyy.....but it's all the same. He usually won't stick around. And if he does the ehsan/formality of staying in touch with her for a little bit or sporadically... the dynamics of the relationship won't be the same as they were at the start....and she'll be left to pick up the broken pieces. Guys don't understand how the girl feels when he begins to distance himself from her even if he thinks it's the best/practical thing to do. They'll view her as annoying and clingy. Unless he finds himself on the receiving end of being put at a distance after having developed feelings/ attachment for someone....he won't understand how it feels for a girl. There's no doubt that the girl was pretty stupid too but that mutual stupidity generally tends to be harder for the girl to emotionally/mentally recover from than the guy. Women fall for pretty compliments about how perfect and great or amazing or desired they are by the guy but these words will lose meaning once she sees that they're not backed by any effort or actions (which speak louder) from his end to maintain the relationship. He'll fade out from her life and move on more easily...seems he's already begun to emotionally detach; that's generally how the saga goes.

[IqbalAli]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

Both must repent. Allah (swt) will forgive.

[Sentry]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

@Paa_Jee

So my friend is in Rishta talks with a girl and he recently started texting her and talking on the phone. They have met couple of times within in like parents approval and stuff. So he’s talking to her and slight hints lead to full on sexting and phone sex. Now he’s wondering if the girl is of questionable behavior. That why would she allow a guy whom she just met sext and phonex so easily. What are your thoughts?

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[htmwrites]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

@Sentry

HAHHAHAHAHHAH! You win at GIFS. lol

[Life01]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

They should get married.

[Muzna]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

They should get married.

Why?

[Paa_Jee]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

Why?

Yes Why?

[Life01]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

I just feel like it would be the right thing to do , given how well they prob know each other.

[Paa_Jee]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

I just feel like it would be the right thing to do , given how well they prob know each other.

They don't know each other that well. Like couple of days of texting turned in to an abomination.

[LondonsFinest]

Re: Phone Shenanigans

@Shak

Why is your friend telling you such personal bed time stories about someone who is about to be his wife (if all went well)? He is displaying the same behavior as her, if he has any doubt he should move on instead both of them will suffer for nothing.

Correctamundo.

The guy is as much to blame as the girl.