Re: Phone Shenanigans
I want to slap your friend+the girl then slap you for posting this here. 3 slaps Thha-Thha-Thha
@Southie Please advise on the correct spelling for Thha-Thha-Thha if needed.
Perfect post. Doesn't warrant modification.
Re: Phone Shenanigans
Nothing in your original post indicated that she had phone sex with him only after 2 days of talking to him. Should have mentioned that lil' detail earlier. Yes, 2 days is too soon. But it was "soon" for both of them. It was "wrong" for both of them. Why is the person who "allows" a wrong to happen judged more harshly than the person who "initiated" a wrong? Why is the latter worse than the former? And did she become a "chipku" after the sexting? Sexual intimacy affects the genders differently. While it's easier for guys to remove themselves from it afterwards, women tend to get more attached as a consequence. And now he's contemplating moving on from her? Bahut khoob. Do something very intimate with a girl and then when satiated and bored...judge her more severely for something that you're equally guilty of....and then just ditch the clingy "chipku."
Was it your friend who initiated the sexting? If so....ask him with what intentions did he initiate/participate in it? At that time did he justify his actions to himself (and maybe even the girl) by thinking that "oh it's okay to do this because I see her as my wife anyway".....or ..."I am seriously considering marrying her"...? And so after that nasha wears off...suddenly she's not worthy or good enough...? If she was "easy" what is he? If she was weak, what is he? If she displayed lack of control, what about him? If she's a guneghaar...what about him? As wrong as she was, she's fool enough to think that such intimacy warrants giving seriousness to the rishta....whereas to him it's now something that can be easily moved on from without a backward glance.
Yes, tell your friend to move on.....because it's bad enough when a girl loses her own self-respect....it's worse when the guy no longer has any respect or regard for her either.
Nothing more to be said. Couldn't get any clearer.
Re: Phone Shenanigans
Both seem immature and naive.
Re: Phone Shenanigans
PM me her phone number. I'll give her a talk on how to behave like a shareef khatoon.
Re: Phone Shenanigans
Both sound pretty beghairat to me. Match made in heaven.
To me the guy is worse.. At least the girl isn't sitting there thinking the other person is lacking in morals for doing basically the same thing..
Btw there's a story in the papers here today about a desi girl here who was blackmailed by her ex bf (he was threatening to show her parents the photos he had) and he ended up dead.. Her new bf ended up murdering him.. Crazy stuff..
Re: Phone Shenanigans
Nothing in your original post indicated that she had phone sex with him only after 2 days of talking to him. Should have mentioned that lil' detail earlier. Yes, 2 days is too soon. But it was "soon" for both of them. It was "wrong" for both of them. Why is the person who "allows" a wrong to happen judged more harshly than the person who "initiated" a wrong? Why is the latter worse than the former? And did she become a "chipku" after the sexting? Sexual intimacy affects the genders differently. While it's easier for guys to remove themselves from it afterwards, women tend to get more attached as a consequence. And now he's contemplating moving on from her? Bahut khoob. Do something very intimate with a girl and then when satiated and bored...judge her more severely for something that you're equally guilty of....and then just ditch the clingy "chipku."
Was it your friend who initiated the sexting? If so....ask him with what intentions did he initiate/participate in it? At that time did he justify his actions to himself (and maybe even the girl) by thinking that "oh it's okay to do this because I see her as my wife anyway".....or ..."I am seriously considering marrying her"...? And so after that nasha wears off...suddenly she's not worthy or good enough...? If she was "easy" what is he? If she was weak, what is he? If she displayed lack of control, what about him? If she's a guneghaar...what about him? As wrong as she was, she's fool enough to think that such intimacy warrants giving seriousness to the rishta....whereas to him it's now something that can be easily moved on from without a backward glance.
Yes, tell your friend to move on.....because it's bad enough when a girl loses her own self-respect....it's worse when the guy no longer has any respect or regard for her either.
In the heat of the moment things seem blurry. The rational mind goes off in to a world of chaos but this chaos is delicious. The mind cannot veer of it. I am not sure if you have have been in a situation where all of your senses are overwhelmed and cannot dare think about anything else. It is something carnal that rises inside of us all, something which makes us sweat those Eve swelters. I have, I have been in that situation, when your beloved is before you in all it's glory. The time of day 4:00PM and a dawat, and the plate of Biryani. Shivers Can drive a man insane.
However I can't image sexting, so I'm going to say this. Ok find both made a mistake and I think as humans people do make mistakes. Doesn't mean that the girl is wrong in this one. I think what the problem might be that the girl is physically handicapped and she's short. So he's more reluctant because of that. She's missing like half a bendy bit attached to your hand. But that shouldn't be a reason to dismiss someone rishta wise. I don't know what to tell him. He considers me his Buddha his mentor and his "Mohsin" and I seriously have no idea what to tell him.
And moving on isn't easy as well when families are involved. Because people then say "Oh loki ki akhsan?!" What will people say. So he's stuck basically because of what will people say.
Re: Phone Shenanigans
The truth is girls do get judged by guys for their sexual behavior (this crosses cultures and religions, not specific to Pak guys) so girls should be smarter to make sure if they are going to do it then make sure it's with the guy who is serious about them and will marry them. The reason why guys tend to judge girls for this is because they know 1. Guys use girls for their own sexual pleasure and then dump them and they don't want sloppy seconds 2. Girls get hit on much more than guys so guys don't like it when girls aren't selective in who they choose to be sexual with Beaune it loses it value. Thus, they question it--if she's okay with doing it with me, means she may have been okay with doing it with another guy.
Now having said that this is stupid to only use sexting as the criteria to judge her on since she's doing it with the guy she likes and hopes to marry. It's okay to question it for a second but need to look at overall picture--look at over all character of the girl to see if this is a character thing or she just is really into this guy. This is why it's better to avoid temptation from the beginning because even the most religious and pious will fall for temptation at some point. He clearly tempted her, engaged in the behavior and now is blaming her for it. That's wrong. He needs to look at her overall though. Is she really outgoing, friendly with anyone and everyone, seeks attention, needs constant validation. If all those are present then sexting is least of his concerns.
Re: Phone Shenanigans
The truth is girls do get judged by guys for their sexual behavior (this crosses cultures and religions, not specific to Pak guys) so girls should be smarter to make sure if they are going to do it then make sure it's with the guy who is serious about them and will marry them. The reason why guys tend to girls for this is because they know 1. Guys use girls for their own sexual pleasure and then dump them and they don't want sloppy seconds 2. Girls get hit on much more than guys so guys don't like it when girls aren't selective in who they choose to be sexual with.
Now having said that this is stupid to only use sexting as the criteria to judge her on since she's doing it with the guy she likes and hopes to marry. It's okay to question it for a second but need to look at overall picture--look at over all character of the girl to see if this is a character thing or she just is really into this guy. This is why it's better to avoid temptation from the beginning because even the most religious and pious will fall for temptation at some point. He clearly tempted her, engaged in the behavior and now is blaming her for it. That's wrong. He needs to look at her overall though. Is she really outgoing, friendly with anyone and everyone, seeks attention, needs constant validation. If all those are present then sexting is least of his concerns.
I agree with this. As i meet more people i'm beginning to see even the people who you think have no secrets will have some and sometimes even worse than the ones who's secrets are known. Also i am wondering who initiated the talks? I agree with the above it's likely she was lead into it, i doubt most girls would straight away do that.
As for your friend its up to him. He will be the one living with her not you so i don't think it was a good idea for him to ask you. I don't think its a good idea he involved his friends either.
Re: Phone Shenanigans
I would go with with RV said. And why your friend is sharing this "information" with his friends about her?. No matter what she has said or done..never, ever ppl should share such an intimate detail about her. That girl is someone's daughter or sister..at the end of the day. Just remember, it could be his friend's sister too. Try to have to taqwaa of Allah..and for sake of Allah tell your friend to move on while letting her go respectfully.
Re: Phone Shenanigans
I agree with @mahool.
Btw, One of my relative had a similar story. They were engaged and the girl was caught by her parents doing sexting. They broke the engagement ...
I would never understand how relationship works :( if they were engaged then whats the problem!
Yaar paa ji, please Ramadan main jhooti sachchi chaskay baazi wali threads kholna band karo
Re: Phone Shenanigans
PM me her phone number. I'll give her a talk on how to behave like a shareef khatoon.
he he he he he..
thats the best reply sooo far..
laai babu..choti chorri....
Re: Phone Shenanigans
I would go with with RV said. And why your friend is sharing this "information" with his friends about her?. No matter what she has said or done..never, ever ppl should share such an intimate detail about her. That girl is someone's daughter or sister..at the end of the day. Just remember, it could be his friend's sister too. Try to have to taqwaa of Allah..and for sake of Allah tell your friend to move on while letting her go respectfully.
I didn't mean to dislike your post. I was testing the dislike feature. Just learned you could dislike and like a post at the same time. Such GS much trolling. -__-
Re: Phone Shenanigans
I didn't mean to dislike your post. I was testing the dislike feature. Just learned you could dislike and like a post at the same time. Such GS much trolling. -__-
You can click on all three. Thanks, Like, Dislike.
I did not mean dislke.. @Xtron
Re: Phone Shenanigans
^haha..nahi nahi..it's alright theorist. Agar dislike kar bhi lo..np at all...
Re: Phone Shenanigans
I don't know what to tell him. He considers me his Buddha his mentor and his "Mohsin" and I seriously have no idea what to tell him. .
You don't know what to tell him? Tell him that he should move on from this girl....because the greater problem is with him ....because he did not have it within his own character to do right by the girl even at this stage...and he does not have it within his character to do right by her should he marry her. Since he considers you his "mohsin" ...do him a good turn by letting him contemplate his own character for a spell. At first he didn't want to marry her cuz he doubted her character and now he has issues with her height and handicap. He knew about the latter from the beginning and if it made him that hesitant about her...he should have just kept his distance from her. And I find it strange that you literally don't know what to tell him. If you don't think it's your place to tell him what decision he should make....at least point out the wrong in his mentality esp if he doesn't see it.
Re: Phone Shenanigans
i think your frand has the crushes on you or vhy he the tell you about his sext-lifes?
Re: Phone Shenanigans
the best of luck with it, the phone!
Re: Phone Shenanigans
Yaar paa ji, please Ramadan main jhooti sachchi chaskay baazi wali threads kholna band karo
Bahi Jaan, Ramadan mein hi to aysi baatein samney ati hain.
Re: Phone Shenanigans
You don't know what to tell him? Tell him that he should move on from this girl....because the greater problem is with him ....because he did not have it within his own character to do right by the girl even at this stage...and he does not have it within his character to do right by her should he marry her. Since he considers you his "mohsin" ...do him a good turn by letting him contemplate his own character for a spell. At first he didn't want to marry her cuz he doubted her character and now he has issues with her height and handicap. He knew about the latter from the beginning and if it made him that hesitant about her...he should have just kept his distance from her. And I find it strange that you literally don't know what to tell him. If you don't think it's your place to tell him what decision he should make....at least point out the wrong in his mentality esp if he doesn't see it.
But wouldn't that break the girl's heart? She is really looking forward to the engagement. What should he do? he's has a conscience believe it or not.