PhD Or Zaroorat-E-Rishta Interview?

Society Business and Career
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I had a chance to sit for an interview for a PhD program at one of Karachi’s reputable medical university where I am also working as a research officer. What I found most irritating was their emphasis on my age and marriage plans.They made me feel comfortable throught my interview and made me feel insecured about my age and asked miserable questions like why did not u get enrolled earlier or were u going through some stress or were u affected by any disorder during my one year break after masters.I felt more like giving a zaroorat-e-rishta interview than a PhD interview. Can’t we Pakistanis move on from discussing age and marriage in such interviews?

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i think NO
cuz most of the gal usually opted to be married rather then continuing wid their carrier .....
n tht 70% of the time means ......... ONE WASTED SEAT

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Re: PhD Or Zaroorat-E-Rishta Interview?

This mentality has been outdated for years...I know if wanted to have marriage plans i wud not have been sitting their in front of them and BTW they were so mean about my age...Roll Eyes

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Re: PhD Or Zaroorat-E-Rishta Interview?

choro dafa karo , dunia bohat baree hay, kuch na kuch mill hee jai ga karnay ko, inshallah.

Welcome your new moderator
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cant/wont comment on tht …
how old r u b.w :chai: (j/k)

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Re: PhD Or Zaroorat-E-Rishta Interview?

waisey ..
u got admission ?

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Re: PhD Or Zaroorat-E-Rishta Interview?

Not that old enough to be made fun of....Angry

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Waiting for the regrets letter...:p

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Good luck for tht......
inshallah we'll have a phd in GS soon ......

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Re: PhD Or Zaroorat-E-Rishta Interview?

Its is pretty weird thing but it happens. A friend of mine who just recently graduted was getting interviewed by a bank for a prospective job and she was telling me it was more of a family background sorta interview then job related:smack:

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Looks like it's time to consider universities abroad.

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Re: PhD Or Zaroorat-E-Rishta Interview?

Well not everyone can move out from Pakistan and I think it's about time we change our system for good.

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not really. i met so many docz who dont practice what they got the education of.

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Re: PhD Or Zaroorat-E-Rishta Interview?

That's another story dear. You can't stip someone from getting a professional education just becozz they will get married afterwards...

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I don't think the system is changing anytime soon. It takes a long time for things to change.

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Re: PhD Or Zaroorat-E-Rishta Interview?

I am sorry to hear about the interview. In many instances, its true that with women, their career plans change after marriage. But it is not right to hold back intelligent women who are interested in getting more education.

I think it was somewhat inappropriate to be asking about marriage plans but they do have some reasons behind it.

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Re: PhD Or Zaroorat-E-Rishta Interview?

Ghazala, this is your choice - your career, marriage and studies.
anyone pry on these issues, are unfortunately guilty of crossing their line by being unprofessional in being nosy about these aspects of your person or life.
it is sad that age and marriage is at times, the only topic that some people in some cultures want to emphasize for what ever unconscious reason there might be in their mind.
and for that, you need to make sure that you tell them off in kind.

best,
Dushwari

18

Although I consider the undertone concerning stress and disorders rather pitiful, I personally do not think there’s anything seriously wrong with inquiring about marriage plans and the age question I suppose goes hand-in-hand with that. It is a reality of our culture that we can't deny - girls get married at a certain age and anything can happen after that. I know this is a generalization but someone who's going to be investing resources in you has every right to know whether the investment is worthwhile or not.

Being a Ph.D. student in the final stages of my studies myself (6 – 8 more months inshaAllah – fingers crossed) I can tell you that it’s really a life decision that impacts and is also affected by whatever is happening around you. The professional as well as emotional commitment it requires is a manifold of what you would have experienced in your Masters. Also remember that the University will be investing its resources in you for the duration of your Ph.D. – in terms of direct and indirect costs.You as a student will be getting some type of a scholarship or a stipend, your supervisor and committee will probably be getting course reliefs to take you on as a student, you will require office space, equipment and so on.

So the University wants to make sure that for the next 4 to 5 years, or however long the program is… they’re making the right decision in accepting a candidate that is more likely to finish than someone who will abandon ship due to personal issues. I have personally seen many students drop out in the program because they couldn’t handle the pressure along with whatever else was going on in their lives.

HooKah or Sheesha
19

I agree although it's quite unfortunate. However, I think the culture needs to step away from this obsession about age. You would never be asked such questions in a PhD interview in the UK. Of course you would be asked about the previous choices you made and about any time unaccounted for on your C.V. But I think this idea that education needs to be fulfilled by a certain age is absurd.

When I was interviewed for my PhD, my supervisor knew I was engaged and that I would be getting married somewhere along the line - it wasn't a problem as it's a completely normal progression in life and shouldn't be a hindrance, stressful maybe though. I even know women who have been pregnant while completing their PhD's. It's a whole different ball game in the west though.
Given my cultural background though, if he had thought that I would just complete my PhD and then leave professional life to be a housewife, it would have been fair for him to question me about it. What is the point of wasting time and money training doctoral candidates if they don't intend to use their skills or knowledge? I'm afraid that at this level of academia, it becomes more than just about 'learning for the love of a knowledge'. Many girls in PK become well educated, become doctors etc, only to get married and never work. It's almost like a passport to a better rishta. So, it's understandable that they would want to know your intentions. And sometimes, even with the best of intentions, one has to consider what a future husband/in-laws would allow. As long as these aspects of the culture exist, these questions will be continued to be asked and it's only fair.

I'm sorry they were mean about your age though, there is no excuse for that.

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Re: PhD Or Zaroorat-E-Rishta Interview?

^ I agree a 100% - I'm not defending their absurd line of questioning... I was only trying to put the questions in perspective and within the milieu of the culture where Ghazala was being interviewed.

I personally got married during my Ph.D. , also took some time off to deal with personal issues and had to forego some of my scholarship funding due to that... it's all part of the experience of a Ph.D. - it's a process... a tough one at that - and is vulnerable to your state of mind at different stages in your life. Some people are fortunate enough to be able to focus and get it done quickly - others with responsibilities and commitments have to endure a little more to reach their goals.

azaarbandi rishtay........