Personality traits are the least inquired thing in Rishta process. People ask about finances, ethnicity, caste, language, sect, education, career etc.
But hardly anyone asks about if the person is adaptable, compassionate, introvert, extrovert, argumentative etc
Why?
Personality Traits & Matchmaking
I would like to think its because we always assume the hoisin people but that's a laughable statement. :)
Re: Personality Traits & Matchmaking
I think when the prospects meet both have these factors in mind and are trying to gauge each other through their conversation.
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From my observation and just experiences, I think that someone can say they are easy going and adaptable when you first meet them but I've experienced it where it ends up not being true and they might be uptight and quite the opposite to adaptable. Only when you finally get to know them on a personal basis every day can you tell if they are really what they say they are. Their real behavior and how they react to certain situations can be be seen and whether we can live and be together for a lifetime.
a guy that has a good education, great job, and makes loads of money was the worst when it came to behavior and a total opposite to my likes. But during the life partner search, we only ask, subculture, job status, salary(unfortunately), these are important but it is kind of superficial when it comes to living with the person on a day to day basis.
I read somewhere that when finding a life partner it should be similarities in likes, beliefs,ethics, and morals and opposites in behavior. a hot head with another hot head is a recipe for trouble. I'm forced to be an introvert bc of certain phobias but I admire extroverts so I hope I end up with an extrovert. I'm still learning to deal with stress so i would love to be with someone that's easy going and calm in most stressful situations.
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I often wonder the same...how can you judge a person based on first and only meeting? But then meeting more than once is perhaps not Islamic either and in fact there is a condition that u can't meet alone...have to be accompanied by someone and I know personally i wud not be able to really communicate and get to know my possible partner while sitting among people. Maybe its just me but i do wonder about how this whole process can be done while remaining within the boundaries of Islam.
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^Wait, people actually make the decision of whether or not to marry someone based on ONE meeting with them?
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Well yahhh some dont even get to meet just say yes on basis of what family likes or pics.
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^ In my opinion, that sounds like a recipe for complications later on. Going off of family's opinions of the person I can somewhat understand, though I wouldn't recommend it. But, based on picture? A picture doesn't tell you anything about a person really and it seems rather superficial to choose someone simply because you like their picture.
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Well i believe 80%+ marriages happened like that in our parents time. For some this still is the way, my bro and bhabi said yes for each other only after the families met and exchanged the pix and it was like 8-9 years ago.
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I know i wouldnt do that, lols! But yah my question remains...how to go about it?! Hmmm.
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wat the hell…
mamzie mezhgan mezhgan mamzie…i can’t figure who is talking to whom…
for a moment i thought these were talking to themselves 
Re: Personality Traits & Matchmaking
Re: Personality Traits & Matchmaking
on topic… offcourse these traits are important to consider…there is no question…what is debatable, however, is how to go about doing this… How can you guage these factors in a desi setting…
Re: Personality Traits & Matchmaking
^ butt sb mera bhi kuch aisa hi sawal tha 
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How do you know or are sure that someone is not pretending to be all nicey nicey during the rishta process or courtship period?
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By asking about the person from his/her friends, peers etc.
I have seen people asking about potential rishta’s education, finances etc to make sure what they r being told is true but not personality traits.
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Well i believe 80%+ marriages happened like that in our parents time. For some this still is the way, my bro and bhabi said yes for each other only after the families met and exchanged the pix and it was like 8-9 years ago.
and the marriages of our parents time were more successful than today.
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this brought me to wonder that in these days people inquire too much about the prospect, grill them, drill them etc etc and then say yes to someone who falls under their criterion but still the divorce rates are at hike today whereas in older days people did not even get to see each other in person let alone having conversations to get to know each other and still those marriages were more successful.
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and the marriages of our parents time were more successful than today.
Most definitely, yes! But don't know if that was solely due to the less complexities involved in how they lived. Perhaps a major contributor was the society not being open to divorces as they are now. There was a stigma attached to the whole thing which now has changed in the name of independence and liberty; for better or worse?! Each individual is to decide for their own self.
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As humans we usually gauge stuff by its tangible traits