How does it feel on the first night where there is a stranger standing in front of you and tradition expects you to make love to him? I can’t ever imagine being in that situation. Would you rather you talk and get to know each other before you get intimate?
Re: People who married strangers…
have not been there myself but have heard from people that getting intimate with the complete stranger who has just become your spouse few moments ago, has its own charm.
Re: People who married strangers…
I have also heard the opposite and couldn’t stand the idea of being intimate with a stranger. I thought women needed to connect emotionally before they like to get intimate.
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That’s a gross generalization. There are women who need emotional connection and there are those who don’t. The same is true for men. How else do you thing One Night Stands happen?
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Or you could not wait until the of marriage to talk to the other person. I call it poor planning if the person you’re marrying is still a stranger to you on the day of your marriage.
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I agree with that or you just don’t get intimate until there is a bit of an emotional connection. Knowing the person before marriage is so important.
Re: People who married strangers…
Why then there are so many female prostitutes and not that many gigolos? males and females have different attitudes and needs for attitudes. Do you talk to many females?
Oh!! and also why most clients of porn are males?
And also why is that in bazzars in third world countries it is always the males doing the groping?
Re: People who married strangers…
Because, unfortunately, women are the more underdeveloped species in terms of finance. Society has dictated men to earn, earn more and live easier.
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I think there is a less demand for girls looking to purchase sex. My point is females are a lot more emotionally oriented and a guy does not need that for intimacy. Some of the high end escorts make 5K a night. For that kind of money there could be hundreds of millions of guys available. One of my previous assistants was the most beautiful girl ever and she had guys circling her constantly but she wouldn’t get intimate with them. If the roles were reversed the single guys never refuse.
Re: People who married strangers…
Female prostitution is more about supply and demand than anything else. The number of women willing to indulge in casual sex is probably lower than the men willing to do so. Also, while some members of both gender might be open to the idea, they might not feel comfortable indulging in it with the same frequency due to the social stigma attached that goes with female promiscuity and the differences in the two genders. Moreover, the guys who aren’t that blessed in the looks and confidence departments have a tougher time getting casual sex compared to women with the same handicaps are men are generally less picky when picking a partner for just sex.
As for talking to females. I’ve talked to women who’re okay with casual sex and it surprised me too, especially the ones in Pakistan who’re okay with it. Personal safety is a big concern for most women as they are physically weaker than men in general. There are crazy people out there. There’s also a concern for reputation for some. And they’re not going to do the dirty with anyone just cause they’re in the mood for it, it has to be with someone they fancy. Women can be players too.
Why isn’t porn equally popular with women as it is with men? That’s interesting. Most of the mainstream porn is made to cater to the male gaze so that could be a reason. Though, one could argue that it’s made that way because women don’t want to watch porn. On the flip side, the popular notion that women don’t wanna watch porn precludes makers of porn from creating stuff that caters to the female audience. Again, this is a topic that warrants a thread of it’s own.
Women are too pre-occupied with the concern of their own safety too worry about groping the guys they like. That’s the only explanation I can think of. Or that’s just not their thing, groping. Groping is more a show of power over someone than an expression of interest, kinda like rape. So just because someone doesn’t grope or rape does not mean that someone is incapable of having sex without having formed an emotional bond.
Re: People who married strangers…
All that said, you gotta be considerate of what works for both you and your partner and not be a selfish prick(male or female). And this stands for stuff outside the bedroom as well because there is a helluva lot more to life than making babies.
Re: People who married strangers…
Here is the research on how men and women differ in sexuality. It is horribly cruel to expect a woman to make love to a stranger.
More recent work has shown that men and women differ dramatically in the nature of their sexuality. Compared to women, men masturbate more, use more pornography, are more reactive to visual cues, and experience sexual desire more spontaneously. Women on the other hand, are less likely to become spontaneously sexually aroused and their sexual desire is much more reactive to their surrounding circumstances. For example, the quality of a woman’s relationship with a potential sexual partner greatly affects her feelings of sexual attraction. In this way, science supports the cliché that women like to be wined and dined and men like sexy outfits.
What does Baumeister propose with regard to gender differences in sexuality?
In a 2000 article, Roy Baumeister proposed that women’s sexuality fundamentally varies from that of men. Men, he suggested, have a fixed, biologically-determined sex drive that is relatively insensitive to context. Women, on the other hand, have a much more variable sex drive, far more responsive to the surrounding circumstances. He based these conclusions on a broad range of empirical findings. According to this research, women have greater variation both in the level of sexual activity and choice of gender over time. Moreover, women’s sexuality is far more influenced by cultural factors, such as education, religion, and peer and parental attitudes.
Re: People who married strangers…
And no one expects them to do that. It takes two to tango and things go at the pace both people want it to go. I don’t get the point of this thread.
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As awful as it might sounds I tend to equate sleeping with a stranger to a one-night stand.. If it wasn’t for culture we’d likely question why one is considered a positive and the other a complete negative..
Would we ever say doing it with a stranger who wasn’t picked by parents had “charm”?
Re: People who married strangers…
But the question is, are there arranged marriages these days where couples dont know or talk to each other at all before the wedding night? Ofcourse not talking about remote rural areas. If they hv talked before, may be hung out a little, they arent strangers. I’ve seen arranged engaged couples doing their wedding shopping together so thats the point of comfort they have already achieved. Now its just a matter of taking it to the other level on halal scale.
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Yes, vast majority do talk nowadays..
I know a couple of people here in the UK who weren’t allowed any contact after inital meeting with parents though, even though Islam obviously does permit a certain level of contact..
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I know scores of instances where females at that particular time were repulsed by the idea of getting intimate with the jerk standing in front of them. Here is one.
This girl was arranged to marry this guy and during celebrations things got sour and the boys family including him got rude and aggressive, the wedding still went on and when the guy tried to get fresh with the girl she kicked him away. A few months later they were divorced. News papers are littered by stories where family pressured girls to marry guys they were not attracted to.
Re: People who married strangers…
I don’t think we can equate the two, there is a difference in a sense that even though the two might not know each other too well, they still have taken the wows to spend the rest of their lives with each other and that decision mut have been made due to some level of attractiveness, compatibility etc. Once the Nikkah is done, it just changes the status of a person from a stranger to your partner, which definitely is not the case when you go for one night stand. And that might be the reason why it brings charm.
Re: People who married strangers…
I thought we were supposed to knock them out on first night?
SARCASM
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Btw I’ve heard many stories that there are customs in various families that the morning after the wedding night, the eldest lady in the family preferably “saasu maan” comes in and checks the bed sheet to see the signs of making out. And if she sees any signs of bleeding, the sheet was displayed to others in famly with the proud claim of proof that the bride was actually the virgin.
As if that was the only jackpot they were waiting for.. 