People who married strangers.....

[Doppleganger]

Re: People who married strangers…

Never heard of that custom but then Pakistan is very diverse.

[aqua70]

Re: People who married strangers…

@SID_NY

Btw I’ve heard many stories that there are customs in various families that the morning after the wedding night, the eldest lady in the family preferably “saasu maan” comes in and checks the bed sheet to see the signs of making out. And if she sees any signs of bleeding, the sheet was displayed to others in famly with the proud claim of proof that the bride was actually the virgin.

As if that was the only jackpot they were waiting for..

What part of Pakistan? Never heard such a thing while I lived in Pak or abroad. If people still carry it out then that is sad.

[SID_NY]

Re: People who married strangers…

@aqua70

What part of Pakistan? Never heard such a thing while I lived in Pak or abroad. If people still carry it out then that is sad.

Ironically this happened in US with one of my friends who herself is Irani origin but the guy originally belonged to some rural area of Punjab. The wedding happened here in Chicago where the groom’s entire family was visiting from Pak and staying in the same hotel as the couple.

They ended up in divorce within a couple of months.

[Bobby1]

Re: People who married strangers…

@gudiaali

I don’t think we can equate the two, there is a difference in a sense that even though the two might not know each other too well, they still have taken the wows to spend the rest of their lives with each other and that decision mut have been made due to some level of attractiveness, compatibility etc. Once the Nikkah is done, it just changes the status of a person from a stranger to your partner, which definitely is not the case when you go for one night stand. And that might be the reason why it brings charm.

Here are some eye opening stats…

In 2015, the Forced Marriage Unit (FMU) gave advice or support relating to apossible forced marriage in 1,220 cases. The FMU also received approximately 350calls per month in total. These figures include contact that has been made to theFMU through the public helpline or by email in relation to a new case. Of the casesthat FMU provided support to: 329 (27%) involved victims below 18 years of age; and 427 (35%) involved victims aged 18-25.In 2015, the majority of cases 980 (80%) involved female victims, and 240 cases(20%) involved male victims.Forced marriage is not a problem specific to one country or culture: since it wasestablished in 2005, the FMU has handled cases relating to over 90 countries acrossAsia, the Middle East, Africa, Europe and North America.In 2015, the FMU handled cases involving 67 ‘focus’ countries which a victim was atrisk of, or had already, been taken to in connection with a forced marriage. The fivehighest volume countries in 2015 were:** Pakistan - 539 cases **(44%). Bangladesh - 89 cases (7%). India - 75 cases (6%). Somalia - 34 cases (3%). Afghanistan - 21 cases (2%).In 2015, 175 (14%) of the cases handled by the FMU had no overseas element, withthe forced marriage activity taking place entirely within the UK.

[gudiaali]

Re: People who married strangers…

@Bobby1

Here are some eye opening stats…

In 2015, the Forced Marriage Unit (FMU) gave advice or support relating to apossible forced marriage in 1,220 cases. The FMU also received approximately 350calls per month in total. These figures include contact that has been made to theFMU through the public helpline or by email in relation to a new case. Of the casesthat FMU provided support to: 329 (27%) involved victims below 18 years of age; and 427 (35%) involved victims aged 18-25.In 2015, the majority of cases 980 (80%) involved female victims, and 240 cases(20%) involved male victims.Forced marriage is not a problem specific to one country or culture: since it wasestablished in 2005, the FMU has handled cases relating to over 90 countries acrossAsia, the Middle East, Africa, Europe and North America.In 2015, the FMU handled cases involving 67 ‘focus’ countries which a victim was atrisk of, or had already, been taken to in connection with a forced marriage. The fivehighest volume countries in 2015 were:** Pakistan - 539 cases **(44%). Bangladesh - 89 cases (7%). India - 75 cases (6%). Somalia - 34 cases (3%). Afghanistan - 21 cases (2%).In 2015, 175 (14%) of the cases handled by the FMU had no overseas element, withthe forced marriage activity taking place entirely within the UK.

How are these stats related to this specific thread?

[gudiaali]

Re: People who married strangers…

@SID_NY

Btw I’ve heard many stories that there are customs in various families that the morning after the wedding night, the eldest lady in the family preferably “saasu maan” comes in and checks the bed sheet to see the signs of making out. And if she sees any signs of bleeding, the sheet was displayed to others in famly with the proud claim of proof that the bride was actually the virgin.

As if that was the only jackpot they were waiting for..

Lol, what if the bed sheet is of dark colour? And what if the couple has already changed the bed sheet before the sassu maa comes in?

[Bobby1]

Re: People who married strangers…

@gudiaali

How are these stats related to this specific thread?

Some people claimed that all marriages to strangers involved mutual attraction.

[Takumi]

Re: People who married strangers…

@Bobby1

Some people claimed that all marriages to strangers involved mutual attraction.

I guess the term “marriage to stranger” is confusing people. It makes people recall their own “arranged marriage” or that of their friend\relative. However, you seem to want to talk about forced marriages. Using the qualifier “forced marriage” would help steer the conversation in the right direction.

[Bobby1]

Re: People who married strangers…

@Takumi

I guess the term “marriage to stranger” is confusing people. It makes people recall their own “arranged marriage” or that of their friend\relative. However, you seem to want to talk about forced marriages. Using the qualifier “forced marriage” would help steer the conversation in the right direction.

When you have brothers, uncles, and fathers deciding the fate of a girl they might not focus on physical chemistry a lot. Almost always there is insurmountable pressure to stay within the tradition and that might result in a lack of attraction and hence you have a situation where they have a stranger who they are not attracted to and maybe much older standing in front too eager to make out.