Re: People who force groceries on you while you have enough money to buy them
Again, Reha, there was no need. The next day I was buying myself a watch in town and groceries . . . As today. As last saturday, etc. The need wasn't there, so there was nothing to know . . .
And you are not entitled to insult people by not greeting them and giving them unpleasant looks while you don't even know them and they never harmed you and treated you friendly, no matter if days before your child gave them groceries under the misguidance that they have 'nothing'. That is wrong. And I still said thank you. I have still been friendly and polite. Even when they returned the money.
So they can be oversensitive when I write a thank you note and explanation that it wasn't needed and if they please accept a small amount which I also offered in a humble way, after they refused to greet me and give me a chance to personally thank them, then I can't be even a bit sensitive about them treating my daughter unpolitley in their home while their own child wanted my daughter to come in the first place and I can't be sensitive that they first give us groceries while I still have besan, atta, rotti, fries and vegetables in my home and then days later when I see them they treat me unpolite too? So they get away with every nasty arrogant behaviour and I have no right to be sensitive?
Again: this was not humanity nor a good deed in my opinion. If the intentions of this family really were nice, then they would not have mistreated my daughter in their home after their own child invited her there in the first place and they would not have pried for weeks about our finances, telling their child to ask mine how much money I have, if the intentions of this family really were nice, then they would not have refused to greet me and not have given me unpleasant looks, just days after their child insisted their groceries upon us.
I think the intentions of the child weren't bad, but her family does have a nasty attitude and no, I don't believe people with that behaviour have a 'good' attitude. I have my own mistakes, but alhamdulilah, I never treated other people like this who never harmed me nor insulted me.
*If you were so upset about the needy in your country, you could have just passed the groceries on to someone else. *
And yes, I have indeed been giving to charity. For years money when I could, and clothes which could still be used.
The groceries, some of them went to my friend, the rest in the bin since they were ruined (garlic) and my friend didn't even want that, nobody else here uses it (we're the only Pakistanis in my appartment area), the garlic wasn't fresh, so it's normal. The friend didn't need the groceries either, but since we didn't want to throw it away, they were used by her.
For years I've been donating books and clothes, not just money, to various charities. I don't have the habit of advertising what I give to others all the time. This is the first time I say this online: I've given money to charities in the Netherlands, such as Amnesty International, the Dutch department of theirs that is, I annually collect money for Amnesty International and participate in sending cards to people wrongfully in prison, I gave money for years to a another charity too so that old Dutch people can make trips on a boat and be properly taken care of. Then there was a case of a Dutch child with cancer, people were collecting money for that child in our local supermarket once, I put a nice amount in that. Other than that, I've also been donating for years to Unicef, Islamic Relief, the Dutch cancer institute called KWF, I also gave money to WNF which is the Dutch branch of WWF. I temporary stopped a few months ago as we had had too many bills of my failing health (which is becoming better alhamdulilah) and when my finances are much better, I'm planning to continue donating.
I donated to each one of these charities for years, every month. I still have the bank receipts of that even somewhere. Every month an amount I could afford was given to Unicef, De zonnebloem, KWF, WNF, Amnesty International and sometimes once of twice a year to various other charities, such as Islamic Relief.
Other than that, whenever I have cash at home, I donate to people who ring my doorbell and aske money for masjids, a church once, the cancer institute who I still paid despite already giving them money every month, etc.
O yes, I also have done volunteer work by teaching people Dutch who came to the Netherlands from different countries. One of these females claimed her husband was threatening and beating her (she was from Iran). I have a very small appartment. Yet, when she kept saying she was afraid and wanted to leave him, but had no place to go, I offered her help and I even offered her and her son a place in my appartment, in the end she decided to stay with her husband and return. I kept telling her she had options, but the end choice was hers. I've done much much more for other people. For years. Both when I had more than enough money and when I had less.
There are various ways to help someone, and when someone really needs it and hasn't harrassed my children and me and if I'm in a position to help, then yes, I still do help in one way or another, be it Pakistani or a Dutch person or someone with a different background.
I just don't talk about it often, not online nor in daily interactions with other people. Even in the schoollibrary where I'm temporarily working now, I have never advertised how much I've done for others. Allah knows. And now I've shared it here.
In my opinion it's normal behaviour to help other people who really need it, it's normal to help by doing volunteer work and it's normal to help by donating money or clothes, to me it's not special. I've done it all my life. Even as a teenager. I met plenty of people with different backgrounds who do the same as me. We all think it's normal to help others and we don't see ourselves as special or gems just because we help someone and we don't mistreat and insult the people we helped and we don't feel we are better than them and so entitled to insult them by mistreating them when they are invited in our homes or insult them in other ways.