People skills, or rather the lack of it!

[redvelvet]

Re: People skills, or rather the lack of it!

@Niksik

I’ve noticed this a lot in women that they say something really insulting to your face and later try to justify it by saying, “oh our hearts are so clear that we say what’s on our minds,” or that “oh I’m just a straightforward person.”

What’s your opinion on this?

Hmm…you know I’ve never heard the above justifications. I know sometimes women might say “Oh you’re too sensitive”…and I’ve read that this is an invalidation technique. First, the person insults you…and then instead of reflecting over how their comment may have affected you or come across…they blame or chide you for being hurt.

I don’t think that the above comments you’ve mentioned are justifications for insulting someone. It seems as if the offender is praising themselves for being so clear-hearted and straightforward and almost subtly saying that the victim lacks those qualities. Such reasons don’t reflect an attempt to address the concerns of the person who is hurt. A clear heart doesn’t necessarily mean that one is using their head when it comes to tact/etiquette.