People skills, or rather the lack of it!

[mizsani]

Re: People skills, or rather the lack of it!

I hate ppl who say the bad things in such a sweet way.. tht u cant even say anything in response... like saying "kitni moti hogayi ho lekin phir bhi achi lagtee ho" now wht is one supposed 2 say 2 that?? lol
or "kitna makeup lagaya hai, phir bhi acha lag raha hai"
samajh nahi atta ke compliment hai ya phir burai
Anyways, I think they do tht just to put other ppl down... to make themselves feel better.

Maybe my original post is unclear.

I'm talking about people who will come to you and say, "tum itni moti ho gayi ho" or "oh you don't do hijab, you should" or "this outfit looks really bad on you" type of stuff direct at your face. I'm not talking about carrying tales or gossip...that's a different issue.

[redvelvet]

Re: People skills, or rather the lack of it!

I've noticed this a lot in women that they say something really insulting to your face and later try to justify it by saying, "oh our hearts are so clear that we say what's on our minds," or that "oh I'm just a straightforward person."

What's your opinion on this?

Hmm...you know I've never heard the above justifications. I know sometimes women might say "Oh you're too sensitive"....and I've read that this is an invalidation technique. First, the person insults you...and then instead of reflecting over how their comment may have affected you or come across....they blame or chide you for being hurt.

I don't think that the above comments you've mentioned are justifications for insulting someone. It seems as if the offender is praising themselves for being so clear-hearted and straightforward and almost subtly saying that the victim lacks those qualities. Such reasons don't reflect an attempt to address the concerns of the person who is hurt. A clear heart doesn't necessarily mean that one is using their head when it comes to tact/etiquette.

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: People skills, or rather the lack of it!

@Mirch

He wanted to say that This is such a lame thread. There I said it . Now sue me.
Yep he could be sensitive about Niksiks feeling and would have made it more politically correct. Like "Hey Nikky some people are not good at use of words , they do not know how to express themselves in politically correct terms. "

Art of conversation is not everybody’s forte. So instead of getting a heartache at their behavior or words it is better to ignore them and move on , someday they might correct their ways once they encounter a ruder and more straight forward person than they are.

right on the money

[NomiCA]

Re: People skills, or rather the lack of it!

@Mirch

He wanted to say that This is such a lame thread. There I said it . Now sue me.
Yep he could be sensitive about Niksiks feeling and would have made it more politically correct. Like "Hey Nikky some people are not good at use of words , they do not know how to express themselves in politically correct terms. "

Art of conversation is not everybody’s forte. So instead of getting a heartache at their behavior or words it is better to ignore them and move on , someday they might correct their ways once they encounter a ruder and more straight forward person than they are.

:k:..covers almost everything to be said abt the matter..

i was trying to say the same thing..

[Mirch]

Re: People skills, or rather the lack of it!

@Decent_6Chora

right on the money

@NomiCA

:k:..covers almost everything to be said abt the matter..

i was trying to say the same thing..

Thank you brothers.

[Sara516]

Re: People skills, or rather the lack of it!

I read this in the comments section on a news story, I know its slightly different "I have freedom of speech" vs "mera dil to saaf hai" buttttt I still think it holds very true...

[QUOTE]

This is what is wrong with people: we have such an inflated sense of self-importance that we feel the need to foist our opinions upon people whether they’re appropriate or not and then hide behind the ‘I’m free to voice my opinions’ card. You’re also “free” to take a dump in the sink instead of the toilet, but does that mean you should? Probably Not…

Our precious freedom to be rude trumps our sense of decency almost every time.
[/QUOTE]

[NomiCA]

Re: People skills, or rather the lack of it!

@Sara516

I read this in the comments section on a news story, I know its slightly different “I have freedom of speech” vs “mera dil to saaf hai” buttttt I still think it holds very true…

It is infact :k: