Re: People pleaser/can't say no
It's prolly a phase. You'll snap out of it and be be back to your old ways.
Re: People pleaser/can't say no
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dear Sabriya,
be yourself and never change an iota of who you are simply to please anyone.
Allah swt does not like pretense or burden on a soul that he/she suffers without taking a stand against it. if people are clever enough to expect from you anything, even reasonable expectation, they better be smart and fair enough in their better judgment to be equally nice to you, as well.
or they don’t deserve your niceness. you must set the standard by which others ought to treat you. and that will establish the basis of any relationship between you and anybody else.
be safe.
best,
Dushwari
Re: People pleaser/can't say no
I think you suffer from low self-esteem, hence the, "i cannot say no" syndrome.
Re: People pleaser/can't say no
Sabriya786: Do you really need these people in your life?
Re: People pleaser/can’t say no
MWAP- No, but they’re everywhere! And yeah, insecurity plays into it I guess, except im really not insecure otherwise, just when it comes to situations like these…psychologically I know its a boundary issue, but im having trouble overcoming it. Let’s say I have a job, knowing myself I wouldnt even ask for a raise if I know I freakin deserve it. Back in elementary school when the holidays camea round, the teachers would give out candy to the class and everyone would shout and scream and ask for seconds, when the teacher came to distribute the candy to me, I would tell her no thanks I dont want it, when deep down I was really dying for it. Why I said no? I really don’t know! I felt shameful about it… I have issues with the whole give and take process I guess 
Re: People pleaser/can't say no
Sabriya786: I went through similar phase in my life. I knew some folks who would love to take advantage of me. Before it became a normality, I sensed that I am nothing but just a time pass or someone who can get the job done for them. Next moment I completly end ties with them. They missed me, tried to contact me in every way possible, but I refused. You are nothing to them, just someone who will get the job done so that they can live comfortably. You can end ties with them tommorrow and it won't change a thing in your life, probably make it less tense. They will try to contact you and show you their soft side, but don't fall for it. They are not worth it.
Re: People pleaser/can't say no
Sabriya - Why is this such a bad thing? I am almost exactly how you are. I can never say no to anyone either... a pushover if you will. But, thats my personality. It has given me some heartache over the years but mostly it made me feel good at the end of the day. So don't feel so bad. In the longrun having a kind gentle and giving personality pays off.
Re: People pleaser/can't say no
I will go with bigdaddy. I have the same personality. If someone approaches me for help, I will go out of my way to help him/her out. I don't judge the motives behind the other person's request. However, over a period of time, I have slowly adapted myself to say NO to people where I need to and where I have a reason to.
I feel it is my responsibility to help people in need. I don't have any low esteem issues.
Sabriya, you are a free thinking individual. Society may portray your personality trait as a weakness, but it is ultimately up to you to do decide what makes you happy and where you need to draw a line.
Re: People pleaser/can't say no
Are you a middle child?
Re: People pleaser/can't say no
^ If the above was directed toward me, I would say there was no middle child in my family. You know what I mean!
Re: People pleaser/can't say no
^ No, it's for Sabriya.
Re: People pleaser/can't say no
^OK! Thanks for clarification.
Re: People pleaser/can’t say no
Ohhhhhhhh I know exactly how it is
but then uhhmmm…
This happened to me 