I got my cards made and even ordered RSVP cards for them. But whoops! I forgot about the mehndi. It’s not going to be “ladies only” but we want to limit the males to close family/friends because we’re going to have to kick people out for the girls’ dancing part.
How did you guys do this? What do you put on the invite so that people know not to bring their husbands/sons? Is it just through word of mouth?
edit: can’t do just purely women’s only since the nikkah is taking place at the mehndi before the rasams and dancing and whatnot
So much hate
I should have been more clear.
Good lord > random cringy memory about something similar.
Sticky notes > did at my cousins wedding. Sticky notes for the people us cousins were inviting. Kitne bande and what not.
You shouldn’t worry too much. These things happen all the time.
We put “ladies only” on my sisters mehndi card. Obvoiusly it doesnt apply to close family and friends, i think its just easier to deal with when sorting out guest lists. One thing to consider is that hijabi guests may consider this a ladies only event and dress accordingly…so make sure they are aware (if you have any)
I wouldn’t rely on word of mouth.. You’ll have more of the guests’ brothers, husbands etc. turning up if it’s not been made clear in writing somewhere and it could become messy on the day..
So where will these males go when you kick them out? Are you providing a separate reception area/room where they’ll hang out or are they expected to literally leave the venue?
I went to a mehndi recently where it is was NOT specified on the invite that husbands/sons/brothers etc were not invited. After dinner when the girls wanted to start their dances, the brides chachi stood up on a chair, took the mike from the DJ and ordered ALL the men out of the hall…there was no other accommodation made for them, they were told they could just take some chairs with them and hang out in the foyer of the hall. It was so awful. The chachi even kicked out the DJ and told the hall manager to get rid of all the male wait staff that were clearing the table. She was literally pointing to people and saying “You…leave…you…leave”
Agar itna hee shauq hai dance karnay ka then have a FEMALE only mehndi for God’s sake
soconfused…please make sure you’ve made proper arrangements for the men in another room
Kinda off topic but my cousin had her mehndi at home (large marquee in the garden with a proper floor, seating etc) and hired a hall for the men nearby where they had dinner and socialised until their ladies were ready to go home. It was very thoughtful.
This ones tricky…
Either invite all of them and have arrangements for when the dancing starts, or keep it ladies only and have none. I don’t see how you can specify no men otherwise unless you call each guest and let them know their men are not invited.
my venue gave me the upstairs hall which has this adjoining space that has couches and stuff. most of the men are from my fiance’s side and they’re really religious so they’re not staying for the mehndi part (which will be after the nikkah/maghrib) anyways. The only men I’m inviting from my side are my dad and uncle and brother/some of his close friends that are like my brothers. THEY won’t mind having to chill in the area with the couch because they’re close enough to get why people don’t want that. I’m not even inviting my gora close guy friends and stuff because I don’t want them to get confused/offended.
The tricky part is dealing with fathers of my friends. They’re definitely all invited to the wedding but only the uncle isn’t invited to the mehndi. Just gotta figure that part out.
Is there a reason you can’t send a personal e-mail to these friends explaining the situation? After all, they’re your FRIENDS! You can write the e-mail in a way that’s not telling them not to bring their fathers…but more like “Hey FYI this is the plan for the mehendi…I just want to let you guys this b/c I don’t want any of your dads to feel uncomfortable being stuck in a room with a bunch of men they don’t know. Please make sure your dads/moms know that all men will be asked to leave once the dancing starts.” This way even if the father’s show up, no one will be surprised when you kick them out.
Of course, you could also simply put a line in the invitation stating that all men will be asked to move to a upstairs hall during the dance which will be approximately…and put the time there (1 hour, 2 hour…whatever). I agree with the other poster that putting “ladies only” creates a potentially awkard/embarrasing situation for hijabis or otherwise conservation females who are not expecting ANY men there and may dress accordingly.
yeah, that’s precisely why i didn’t put “ladies only” because I have a few friends that’ll wear something completely inappropriate for mixed gatherings if I write that and I don’t want t make them awkward.
I’ll definitely let me friends know and for those that I’m afraid won’t get the message, I’ll just write:
“We have reserved _____ (mehndi: 3 ; Shaadi: 4) seats in your honor”
LOL…what if the family shows up with the dad…b/c the mom wasn’t feeling well!
Of course, some may also think the “3” was just a mis-print.
Just send a mass e-mail out to ALL the females whose e-mail addresses you have and make it sound like a “FYI” type of e-mail. If if the men show up, no one can blame you b/c they got stuck being bored with your/fiance’s family during the dance.
If your friends don’t have a problem with wearing “inappropriate” stuff what’s the problem then? If you think others will be uncomfortable, you can surely tell your friends to wear something not so unappropriate.
Why not just skip everything and invite friends only.
You either missed or intentionally left out the key words which OP wrote…inappropriate for MIXED GATHERINGS. Girls may show up wearing things (or not wearing things) that are appropriate/Islamically allowed in front of other women…but not men if they are led to believe this is a “women only” event.
No, I meant my hijabi friends that would show up wearing something they wouldn’t normally because they misunderstood that my “ladies only” wasn’t REALLY a purely ladies only event and that men would be present. I don’t want them to show up and then be like uh oh.
I initially wanted it to be just friends but then my family wanted to do the nikkah so that muddled up everything. At this point, I’m just working with what I got. Not ideal but, meh.
