Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
Ah I see.
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
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Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
we had a separate card and addressed it to Aunty … and girls, if they had daughters or just wrote ladies/girls names if they would fit in the gap.
My mehndi was “ladies only” on the invite as we invited extended family however only my family men were there uncles cousins etc. the extended lot didnt bring their men. A few who did turn up as it had snowed badly to drop them off we did accomadate them. Unless u specify strictly ladies only its abit tacky to stand at a mic like khatti mentioned someone did lol. I woukd be mortified if my relative did that
Is it that bothersome if family men r there? Maybe have your hall segregated?
People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
Oh we also did mention when handing out the invites that our uncles and brothers etv will be there for the rasams. Incase those who did pardah had a issue. No one took offense.
People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
Just caught up with all the replies lol
Is it possible for you to have a ladies only thing at home for your friends? If your invites dont say ladies only im sure when handing them out you can say its a ladies event mainly but our family men will be there?
Lol im so confused myself! Tricky one! Hope u can find a happy medium
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
Yeah I think what I think I’m going to do is that only the cards where I think they may have men showing up, I’ll just write in “ladies only” and then just explain to the hijabis (who are mostly just my friends and not really the aunties) that there’s still men from the family.
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
Most people have a separate envelope for the mehndi cards and write just the name of the female(s) on the envelope. The shadi envelope has the with family thing if you inviting everyone. A lot of people have the dancing first and then the men join in for the singing bit ( or that too separate depending on your comfort level) and the rasms and food.
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
we usually have segregated mehndis, its always a good idea, since the uncles etc can just have dinner and chill on the men’s side, while the ladies enjoy most of the function, and ofcourse the close guy family members and friends (of the bride and the groom) can come to the women’s side whenever they want. ofcourse you can do this if you have a huge social circle and it is mandatory to invite families for the mehndi too 
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
We had a “girls only” mehndi, and then we called up our close friends/relatives and invited the men separately. My aunt lives closeby, so we did the mehndi at my parents home and accomodated the men at her place. So glad we did that, because we had a pretty bad snowstorm that day (just my luck!), so we ended up inviting a bunch of other family friends to stay after dropping off their wives so they won’t have to make the trip twice.
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
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I attended a mehndi where the brides family member took the mic and ordered all the men , including DJ, photographer, to LEAVE, so the girls/ladies could dance. This was in a proper hall etc. Quite embarrassing, the men went out into the foyer and mingled. Others decided to go to a nearby house and hang out.
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Mehndi a few weeks ago, where specified “LADIES ONLY”. Woo hoo, my friends and I all decked out, made hair, so we could take off our hijabs, some wore clothes they would not normally wear in a mixed gathering. Guess what? There were so many men, young men etc all close family members and close family friends of both sides . It was a let down and deceiving for many of us.
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Another mehndi a few weeks ago. Strictly enforced , “ladies only”. Both bride n grooms side ladies only.Not a single man in sight, held at a hall. Very, very well organised. Men came at the end, announcement was made.. no rasms. It was a really fun and enjoyable mehndi.
Hope you find what works for you.
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
What the plan right now is, is to give the ppl coming to the mehndi the invitation and if I don’t want the father/brother/husband to come I’m just going to write “ladies only” on the invite – those people just happen not to be hijabi so the “ladies only” won’t change their dress.
For the mehndi, since we’re having the nikkah, there’s a lot of men from both families that are going to be very offended if we keep it strictly women’s only. So we’ll do it so that my SO walks in, I make my entrance. We both sit on stage and do the nikkah. Break for maghrib. After maghrib, do rasams. After rasams, have dinner at which point all the men that aren’t my father and close close guys leave. Then we do the boy’s dances. After boy’s dances the men go sit in that area with couches and girls dance. Then everyone can just come and the dance floor will be open so whoever wants to dance can dance and everyone else can hang out.
…of course this is MY plan so who knows how it’ll actually turn out when I’m sitting on stage unable to actually regulate anything lol
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
Just went back to read your OP.. it did not mention that the nikkah/mehndi were at the same time.
The fact that your nikkah is at the same time, does change things for you.
It will work out, it always does.
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
I live in community where we have lots of weddings with separate accomodations for men and women, and mehndis are always ladies only. But we all know to that at some point the groom and other male family will be coming, when that happens they make an announcement that the groom and men are coming, and we simply put our dupattas/hijabs/ on also if in case we decide to wear a sleeveless outfit we always bring something to put on top just in case.
It is easier to write 'Ladies only" then the other way around. Because most of the guests are only laidies, its just the close family members who are not, and they probably don’t even need cards.
You can always mention to hijabi friends that the groom will be making an appearance.
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
Did you mean “People invited to the Baraat but not the Mehndi”?
I would list the names of the people invited to the mehndi on the mehndi card itself (or put it in a smaller envelope and put the names on the outside).
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
What are the timings for this? Are there several hours between the nikkah and the beginning of the “mehndi”? How are you going to communicate this schedule to your guests? Is there a clear/distinct end to the nikkah function before the mehndi begins?
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
Lol. yes. Dumb of me. 
Yep, I decided to write “ladies only” on the mehndi cards where I’m trying to say I don’t want them to bring their men.
Nope, nikkah is at the beginning of the mehndi function, same venue. Just that appetizers will be out and then nikkah will happen at 8 iA and then maghrib, the mehndi rasams that don’t involve dancing/segregation, then dinner and then most of the men that aren’t close family but had to be present for the nikkah will leave and dancing/more dancing/singing.
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
But what if the men who are supposed to leave and the women who are supposed to stay came in the same car? I think you should be prepared for the fact that this invitation will be very confusing. It’s one function and you’re saying they’re invited to it, but not all of it. You’ll get questions in advance and you will also have more men having to stay in the waiting area than expected.
It might be simpler just to make sure the men have a proper place to go after. As the evening wears on, distant people will leave anyway.
Re: People invited to the Mehndi but not Baraat
I mean really the only men invited to it are close guy friends of mine, close male relatives on both sides, and super close family friends on my fiance’s side. My fiance already told everyone on his side about the schedule (we’re having this weird confusing because of his side…my side is more liberal and keeping it co-ed wouldn’t be an issue) and the close men on our side know too. In case anyone shows up that for some reason is confused, there’s definitely a place to chill for the guys outside the hall since the room my mehndi is in is kind of seperated from the rest of the hotel. Most people in our community are used to having the men kicked out for dances so I don’t think that’ll be the surprise, i think its mostly just making sure people don’t ALL bring their male counterparts because trying ot fit that many extra men in the outside area is while dancing is happening is going to be the issue