Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
I did mention them a few times in my posts in this thread.Anyone interested can check their website too.I have always been impressed with their work and efforts.
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
I think one can pay for someone's wedding as charity.
Wedding is a big if not huge part of our culture. We cannot deny that for some people it holds a bigger purpose than education. Beside when you do charity, your aim is to help the other person with whatever he/she needs help with. Not to judge and lecture about how education holds a bigger purpose than marriage, because you're not in their shoes.
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
Im pretty sure the charity money is for orphaned girls, not boys. And even if it costs 10 dollars to conduct a wedding, its still more than 0. A hundred dollars will get 10 girls married off.
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
religiously wedding is farz and it is in islam too that get your children married when they are young to prevent them from sin.
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
I think one can pay for someone's wedding as charity.
Wedding is a big if not huge part of our culture. We cannot deny that for some people it holds a bigger purpose than education. Beside when you do charity, your aim is to help the other person with whatever he/she needs help with. Not to judge and lecture about how education holds a bigger purpose than marriage, because you're not in their shoes.
Exactly!
In a culture such as ours, parents feel its their responsibility to get their children married off as soon as possible so they can start their lives and support themselves. Its a necessity to do a simple nikah - religiously - and allow them the opportunity to live respectable lives. Like giving them a head start in life. Why is that so wrong? Giving someone a chance to maybe become more than what society or you tell them they can be? Creating opportunities...isn't that what charity is all about? Betterment of life?
I am so shocked by some of the responses in this thread. Its like living in a selfish bubble where the only only ideas that make sense are your own...no consideration for anyone or anything else!
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
Exactly!
In a culture such as ours, parents feel its their responsibility to get their children married off as soon as possible so they can start their lives and support themselves. Its a necessity to do a simple nikah - religiously - and allow them the opportunity to live respectable lives. Like giving them a head start in life. Why is that so wrong? Giving someone a chance to maybe become more than what society or you tell them they can be? Creating opportunities...isn't that what charity is all about? Betterment of life?
I am so shocked by some of the responses in this thread. Its like living in a selfish bubble where the only only ideas that make sense are your own...no consideration for anyone or anything else!
Its not cultural thing, its religion who has also a duty incumbent on the parents to get their daughters married off when they reach adulthood .
Only daughters have this right over their parents. Sons have been commanded to acquire material means to maintain the living. They should not become the burden on the shoulders of their responsibilities.
The parents spend money at the marriage of their daughters, but it does not mean that they should spend beyond their economic capacity nor mean that they should run under the debts for meeting the expenses of their daughter’s marriage.
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
I'm wondering how old these orphans are who're being married off and what type of education or vocational training they have received. I may be in the minority here but personally, I'd much rather pay for education or vocational training for orphans....so they can earn the money to pay for their own wedding and also can provide for themselves AFTER the wedding.
In the absence of family to support them, if the 2 people getting married can not earn the money themselves even for most basic necessities of a wedding....then how will they support themselves AFTER the wedding? Who's going to pay for their housing, food, clothing etc.? What if they have kids?
Because desis make no sense.
Let's break down the cost of a wedding, shall we?
- Qazi - there is a cost to this? Is it actually ethical for them to charge to read a nikkah for two poor people? That may be problem number 1.
- Court costs for registering the marriage - this may be a legit necessity, but in a country like Pakistan, maybe there can be a waiver from the gov't....I mean, it's not like anyone pays any taxes/fees even if they can afford it anyway.
- The clothing....there is no obligation Islamically to wear fancy clothing - nice and clean, yes, but no obligation to be decked up. No one is talking about golden joras, but at the same time, even buying a fancy dress in the commoner's markets these days is no less than 10,000 ruppees.
We have to show off, don't we?
Call me crazy, but you CAN make your own wedding dress....
for a much lower cost....
- Hall? Screw the hall, marry them in masjids. Or get a hall by donation or something.
What else?
- Car? Again a luxury, not a necessity.
Yeah, they deserve to have fun at their weddings, but upgrading their wedding to that of a middle class family's in the name of "charity" suggests that the argument would be just as valid if we gave charities to middle class families to upgrade their weddings to "high class".
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
Its not cultural thing, its religion who has also a duty incumbent on the parents to get their daughters married off when they reach adulthood . Only daughters have this right over their parents. Sons have been commanded to acquire material means to maintain the living. They should not become the burden on the shoulders of their responsibilities. The parents spend money at the marriage of their daughters, but it does not mean that they should spend beyond their economic capacity nor mean that they should run under the debts for meeting the expenses of their daughter’s marriage.
There is no religious basis for this whatsoever. Most of us girls are getting educated prior to marriage now, and it's a smart decision, one which you will likely take up too when you have daughters and it finally dawns on you that you'd rather have her independent and safely maintaining her own life until the right guy comes along vs. marrying her off to the first guy with no security plan (no education, no job, no back up options in case the guy turns out to be a total troll)...
So when you start hearing stories of girls getting screwed over by men looking for visas, or men who cheat on their wives, or men who come across as religious when they're not, or men who lie about their age, or men who lie about their jobs and education...you'll do everything to make sure your daughter doesn't end up on the street starving in the event she has to leave her husband (or he dies, etc).
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
Yup desis do not make sense.Only desis can be so unforgiving and want a check and balance on how come deprived people can ever be happy...!!
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
It's not about us not wanting happiness for them, it's about practicality of distributing funds.
If I have 100 dollars to donate, how does it make sense for me to give it to the dude who needs to have a wedding, so his dulhan can have a pretty dress vs. giving that 100 dollars to some baby dying of hunger because they don't have access to milk (which is now appazrently a huge problem in karachi)?
Please tell me a life is more worth it than someone's wedding dress.
Maybe this is why Pakistan is so behind. We have resources, we have good will with charity,but we're not using it in the right way.
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
If money going towards education is the only charity,then when they give out Eid gifts to poor kids or orphans,or the 'Toys for tots' should all be wrong...right..?
Because toys are a luxury and not a necessity and they do not deserve them..!
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
They dont get married in halls or have cars drive them around that day. 
Okay I’m jsut done with this thread. People are making re(tarded)diculous assumptions.
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
If money going towards education is the only charity,then when they give out Eid gifts to poor kids or orphans,or the 'Toys for tots' should all be wrong...right..? Because toys are a luxury and not a necessity and they do not deserve them..!
Pakistan even has a chapter of 'make a wish foundation'. They run on donations. One can argue that a wish of a dying kid to meet Shahid Afridi is not as important as need of another dying kid to have some milk. But this is why we have so many donors (or should have so many), to take care of different causes
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
Do you people who are criticizing charity mass weddings do even know what it is all about?
From the looks of it, no you don't!!!
You know there are people in this country who earn just Rs. 50 per day and do you know what is the cost of a decent suit even? The cheapest lawn ka jora is of Rs 800. The one that shreds to pieces after one wash.
EVERY girl on the face of this universe wants a decent wedding. The least she wants is to wear something new.
EVERY parent wants to give decent food at their daughters wedding to even the four people that come for the nikah. Do you know what is the price of one naan? Its Rs 10. The plain naan.
Stop being so difficult!!! If you don't want to pay, don't! But atleast realize that these people deserve one day of happiness too. And if giving charity makes them have it, then why not?
Oh and please keep in mind that no matter what happens, it is VERY hard to digest that you got married with charity. But these people have no choice. Oh and if you think they do, then you have a choice too. Go get married without spending a single dime and then come here telling us that it's wrong.
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
It is very simple.If your good deed,be it in any form,can make someone happy or make them smile even for a day,it is all worth it.
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
Go get married without spending a single dime and then come here telling us that it's wrong.
Hello no. I am still looking for a female DJ in Gujranwala and female photographer in Sialkot. How dare you .
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
Do you people who are criticizing charity mass weddings do even know what it is all about? ...
Stop being so difficult!!! If you don't want to pay, don't! But atleast realize that these people deserve one day of happiness too. And if giving charity makes them have it, then why not?
Oh and please keep in mind that no matter what happens, it is VERY hard to digest that you got married with charity. But these people have no choice. Oh and if you think they do, then you have a choice too. Go get married without spending a single dime and then come here telling us that it's wrong.
Very, very well said!
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
Hello no. I am still looking for a female DJ in Gujranwala and female photographer in Sialkot. How dare you .
While you're at it, don't forget to find a MUA in Multan too.
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
Nobody bats eyelash when well off people spends thousands of dollars on unnecessary wedding expenses, but when someone is trying to do something for the most disenfranchised members of society, we get this circus like discussion.
Very good Values people on here are promoting. Be proud of yourselves.
Re: Paying for wedding expenses as charity
The parents spend money at the marriage of their daughters, but it does not mean that they should spend beyond their economic capacity nor mean that they should run under the debts for meeting the expenses of their daughter’s marriage.
They shouldn't run debts or go beyond their economic capacity. Most of the time, they cannot so you have all these girls who are sitting at home, unmarried and guess who's taking care of them? Dad. Its better to get them married and let them start a life of their own.
If I have 100 dollars to donate, how does it make sense for me to give it to the dude who needs to have a wedding, so his dulhan can have a pretty dress vs. giving that 100 dollars to some baby dying of hunger because they don't have access to milk (which is now appazrently a huge problem in karachi)?
PCG, you're not buying them an Umar Sayeed outfit. This IS charity...you should see what these mass marriages look like and realize how important they are.
Nobody bats eyelash when well off people spends thousands of dollars on unnecessary wedding expenses, but when someone is trying to do something for the most disenfranchised members of society, we get this circus like discussion.
Very good Values people on here are promoting. Be proud of yourselves.
Agree