I’ve been surprised to find that some women are expected to pay for themselves if they want to go fly to see their families, or if they want something nice for themselves, etc.
:o
This sort of thing doesn’t happen in our household. Daddy always paid for mummy.
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I assume they work and earn their own money.
What are they going to do with all the money if they are not going to spend it on themselves?
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No no. These are not working girls. These are stay-at-homes.
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Maybe they get a certain amiunt of money periodly which they can use on themselves?
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shakes head.....
no.
effed up, no?
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That is sad then. How are they supposed to pay if they dont have any income/allowance?
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Their PARENTS are paying!! (girls parents)
Who does that??
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That is shameful.
Beghairtun wala kaam.
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acha.
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Depends on the frequency of these flights and purchases.
Can the husband afford to pay for these things? If he can't despite working as hard as humanly possible, then she should either get a job or stop complaining.
It is strange if it is affordable and then not paid from the household income. On the other hand if it is not affordable then what can be done and what are the other options. Cut expenses somewhere else, don't go, or figure out another way.
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ok this is new for me, never heard of this
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I've seen this happen in many non-desi families where the husband's are abusive, controlling jerks but 1st time I've hearing it about a desi family....although it doesn't surprise me.
So PCG: In the specific cases you know of, why don't the women work?
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This is news to me. Like Paheli mentioned, this sort of behaviour is usually seen in abusing, controlling relationships. Personally, I've never seen this kind of behaviour.
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this is so common unfortunately. I have someone in family, parents are in lahore, she got married to someone in Karachi and her parents have to pay her airfare whenever they want to meet her ! she is not allowed to work despite being highly qualified and was not even allowed to come home for child-birth.
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My inlaws sometimes pay for their daughters airfare when she visits and when she's here she gets extra money from them and my hubby is expected to pay for anything she requires and asks for including formula and diapers for kids and all eating out and unlimited hogging of hubby's car and driver.
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^ But does all this happen b/c the daughter's husband have directly refused to pay for that stuff?
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Nope, this is a true story. Husband comes from a HIGHLY wealthy family. He doesn't even work, cuz money is just flowing in. They go out to fancy restaurants all the time, posting on FB all their party and gala pictures.
She has not been allowed to work. She has an MD degree from pakistan (or the equiv mbbs?), was promised she would be allowed to do residency, and they blocked her from taking step exams in the states. Threatened divorce when she came here to take step exams. So she flew back, appeased the family, and now finally couple is living in the states at a farm house owned by the family. Guy does nothing, like I said, money is pouring in from inheritance, and family businesses that he doesn't contribute to.
Her parents pay for her to see them - they live in another state. She is allowed to go like once a year. Told me she hasn't gone in 1.5 years. Sister came out recently to see her, but she hasn't flown to see her sister.
Now her husband is supporting the idea of residency, but she's been out of the game for so long, so she's having trouble finding spots. Her interviews - her husband asks her "you put it on your parents card right?"
But she's allowed to use the credit card for clothes, make-up, or anything to make her look like a trophy wife. Not allowed to use it for career purposes.
Her MIL is a strong factor behind all this, was the one who initiated threats of divorce since the girl went to do her steps in the US.
I was surprised to - but she says that in their elite circle in Lahore, this stuff is happening a lot where the bahu's are controlled like this, and their parents are having to pay for them, and husbands get away with this crap.
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she's right! it's common here sadly. my husband and bil support my married sils for the same reason and they think unka haq banta hai .
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^ but there is a diff. Here your SIL demands to be taken cafe of herself as she thinks mooching off is acceptable just coz she is their sis.
Where the girl that the OP is talking about is being forced to ask her parents to support her.