Normally, at our home, abba has different timing of having meals (earlier than other family members). We accompany ammi.
I usually saw ammi bringing leftover from abba and eating from it. Recently, when I saw this I said / asked ‘idhar bhi to itna saara khana paRa huwa hai, aap ye kiyun le ke aai hain? ye to Hindi movies main pati warta ladies karti hain… pati ke baad khana.. pati ka bacha huwa khana’.
Amma taal this all of my bakwaas by saying referring to ’ ye bhi to rozi - rizq hai’. :sid:
I also saw my daadi eating separately from daada. Though, she would always be there bringing him water.. sometimes, fanning him with hand fan, but I don’t remember that she accompany him in having meals. Though, I saw ammi having meals with abba lots of times.
So, its a well established thing (call it perception) that this came from Hindu culture.
have you seen this in your families? Do other Muslim ladies also follow this?
i've seen this among Hindus in rural India. wife sits on the floor while the hubby sits on the palang eating his meal. she keeps jhaloing pankha as he eats.
in Hinduism, being pati warta is somewhat required from women. however, this tradition is slowly coming to an end. may be in next 20 years, you won't see such scenes.
Wasn;t this also common in elite class of Muslims? Males normally used to have their meals at diwan khana.
in olden days, yes!
the thing is:
in olden days, men used to have company in the mardaan Khaana and they hardly stepped into zanaan Khana. men used to have a circle of friends almost all day. they used to eat outside.
it was more due to parda thingy than any religious supremacy of men.
i had seen a man in my village, he used to stay in the mardaa Khaana 24/7 and he would tell his wife when he planned to spend the night with his wife in the zanaan Khaana. ;) we knew it because that night all the kids had freedom of to haunt older folks with our mischievous acts across the village. hahaha
BTW, I read that in old days, ladies consider it odd to eat before a man. This was probably followed in all communities of sub-continent. Even, the lady taking food to the farmer husband working in fields didn't accompany him while he had meals.
BTW, I read that in old days, ladies consider it odd to eat before a man. This was probably followed in all communities of sub-continent. Even, the lady taking food to the farmer husband working in fields didn't accompany him while he had meals.
I don't think I have seen her eat food with him in our home. Only when traveling.
BTW Banu Qudsia said in her novel : Aurat ka mard ke aage khana bhi jinsi targheeb ki ik nishani hai.. A lady who who can show appetite for food can also show appetite for other things (you know what she meant).
May be this is not true, but one thing is for certain, ladies can enjoy food alone or in company of ladies, as in presence of men, they even can;t take chatkhara (chak chaka chak) from achaar
yeh bhii saHeeH hai aur yeh bhii k 'aurat ba’d meN khaatii thii jiskii ek vajah yeh bhii thii k use Dar lagaa rahtaa thaa k kahiiN khaanaa kam na paR jaaye…agar kam paR jaataa to vo us din roze rakh letii aur kahtii “aaj mujhe bhook zaraa bhii nahiiN”
vaise, suhaag raat par mard ko doodh kaa glass diyaa jaataa hai [kamzorii door karne ke liye ] to aurat ko kia diyaa jaataa hai?
baat se baat nikaltii hai to baRii door talak jaatii hai…boardroom se bedroom tak?
oh achchhaa…ab mujhe koii aur bataaye k misrii kii Dali aur kaali mirch kiuN khilaate haiN? in donoN ajzaa kii Khusoosiyaat kia haiN? kahiiN yeh ‘garm-mizaaji’ to nahiiN paidaa kartiiN?
no wonder why women wives dominate!
maiN apnii honewaali beGham ko in donoN cheezoN se kosoN door rakkhuuNgaa!
There is no such word or if there is any its not used.
Nowadays, there is a popular serial being telecasted from Hum TV as ‘Shanakht’. There was this scene where a religious couple invite another couple (sister and BIL of the religious lady) for dinner. During the dinner, the had a debate (between men) and the guy said to many things against daaRhi like DaaRhi walas are not good with their wives. The religious guy tried to convince him that its not about DaaRhi, people having no DaaRhi can also act bad with wives.
When the couple (who were invited) were driving back to home, husband said to wife that he was not expecting such behavior from that religious guy. The wife said ‘didn’t you observe how he was caring for his wife putting food in her plate’. He said ‘main aisa ghulam nahin bun sakta’.
So this is what the prevalent perception (irrespective of how much you are religious), people think that just putting food in wife’s plate is like ghulami, when that wife does all your work from washing your dirty clothes to prepare food and in our part of the world, wives also have to look after husband’s parents and extended families. Such a thankless society we are.
aksar log aurtoN ke liye kuchh karne ko aise hii baatoN se ta’beer dete haiN jo k ek jaahila soch hai.
maiN door kiuN jaauuN, apnii hii misaal detaa huN…maiN kitchen meN Bhabhi kii bahot help kartaa huN to log mujhe kahte haiN k tumhaarii biwii bahot Khush rahegii magar uskii Khidmat karoge to ‘zan mureed’ yaa ‘joroo ke Ghulaam’ kahlaaoge…maiN haNste huye yeh kah kar baat Taal detaa huN k: “pahle dulhan to aane deN!”
vaise, biwii aapkii Ghulaam nahiiN, partner hoti hai aur isii liye use shareek-e-Hayaat kahaa jaataa hai…uske saath agar bed share karte haiN to baawarchii Khaana share karne meN kia muzaaiqa hai?
naye mehmaan laane ke liye purane paapiyon ko ghar se nikal dia jata tha
