Interestng conversation ive been having with a number of people all weekend..
and i am quite suprised by the opinions..
from a number of people ive spoken to (not just desi… im talking about greeks and aussies too), i find it quite interesting that a guy generally finds it difficult to digest a girls past… as in, her past relationship.. whereas girls will be more accepting that a guy had a gf.. didnt work out.. has moved on..
why is it like that? or do girls find it hard to accept a guys past (relationship) as well?
Ive come across that myself. I had a friend who went to Pak to get married and his wife was a nice young girl from there. He used to tell me how different she is and how accepting she is of his past. Whereas he was looking for a girl who had never laid eyes on a man before...weird I know...I was surprised.
I dont think I would have a problem with a man having a past...I would have a HUGE problem if it haunted me and became an issue in his current relationship with me. Meaning if its trailing him - he's gotta go.
guyz alwayz have dis ego problem expecially desiz not gora's though as of my experience lolz unless u had a REALLLL BAD PAST but yea...i guess dey have dis thinking of getting something already used by someone else....ehh wierd
dats why i always say lolz guyz r a bunch of ratasssess lolzzz
jealous of the girls past is one of the reasons too...
be it a very close friend or a boyfriend...guys will be guys...
and yeah like the above person said... ego is another big role in the whole play.
girls can be like tht too...but i guess they r mature enuff not to say it, they tend to keep things within. but thts some girls...i knw tht my friend is NOT one of thoes girls...her guy having a past is an issue not to be tamperd with as she will not stop til she has blood lol
i tend to disagree, all of my girl friends had hard time digesting anything about the past girl. while i managed to digest past of three of them as in they told me and it was fine with me. I wouldnt like someone still having contact with them though.
There are no concerns for me (Alhamdulillah) as my wife's past I know as she has been very strict in keeping distance from na-mehram males before our marriage. My past, she doesn't need to know, as most of my friends were right when they said no sane woman would ever like to have any kind of relationship with me. I am very lucky to get a sane and wise woman (MashaAllah) who accepted me as her future husband (which also might not have been possible if her parents had not advised her to do so).
Even if she had a past of relationships, I won't have cared about it unless she brought it again and again during our conversations by living in the past, at the cost of the time that should be used for concentrating on our relationship in the present
I would like to share a humble opinion regarding people who change girl friends / boy friends from time to time only for fun. Let us consider our heart (emotions and love) to be like a piece of paper. Let us divide this paper into as many pieces as many people we have been deeply involved with, and write the name of each person on his respective piece of paper. The deeper our relationship was with a person, the bigger size of piece s/he gets. Now after cutting pieces from the original paper and distributing them to the respective people, the remaining portion of the paper left with us is actually the amount of love / emotions we have saved for the person we are going to marry in life. So the less we get involved (deeply) with people the more we are able to save ourselves (our emotions and love) for our future life partner. Because, no matter how much we try, it wont be easy to totally remove those people from our mind and heart and focus "only" on our life partner. So, I personally think it is better to develop and proceed a relationship ONLY when we are serious to consider that person as a potential life partner (without letting the person play with our emotions and exceed the physical limits) instead of passing the time for fun.
I might be totally wrong, as I don't have any authentic source to support my argument, but this is how I sincerely feel. Allah knows BEST! May Allah (s.w.t) bless us with the wisdom to make the right decisions in life and put "barakah" in our relationships
I am still appalled reading that non-virgin thread and how most people consider honesty a "don't ask don't tell" policy. Can't get over the shock but this thread isn't about that.
I think it all depends. I guess people who have lived in a society where pre-marital relationships are common, are more accepting and pakistani men in general have double standards for everything anyways.
Submission you are right. I think everytime you are in a relationship you give a part of yourself to that person.
Agree with STP here about having long list of ex's. Something minor goes wrong in your current relationship and you immediately seek refuge, at the very least mentally, in the older one. This effects the current relationship, and also gives rise to selfishness and no-compromise business-like approach in husband-wife relationships these days.
you chicks are not just brains. You are a animals too. Biologically!!!
Its in you DNA to take care of kids, make home raise family.
Don't believe me watch some animal movies or visit a zoo.
You look for a guy who can help you establish that. Rather then where had he been putting his mouth.
HOW FREAKIN HARD IS THAT TO UNDERSTAND????
STOP LOOKING FOR RATIONAL REASONS BEHIND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**
Men are shud boost about their ex's, to show how macho they are and women shud lie about their ex's to show how shareef they are. (Or thats the desi mindset)
i am pretty guyish then, for i will physically cause him acute pain if he ever mentions any girl from his past. obviously after cracking her skull open as well.
i am pretty guyish then, for i will physically cause him acute pain if he ever mentions any girl from his past. obviously after cracking her skull open as well.
i still remember the past but when i re marry hope to forget the past
it can be hard has depends how u felt about that person i do sometimes find it hard to forget the past so many memories around me
Inshallah tryn me best to move on before a re-marry :)