past relationships

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: past relationships

this thought just popped in my mnid like a minute ago..

we tend to see girls who were never married ..getting married to a guy whose divorced and marrying the second time..

we however do not see many guys who are marrying the first time with a widow or divorced girl.

Strange, i know.

interesting historical facts
22

and this is exactly why we need to get the gender symbols back ! donno why they removed it.

23

Re: past relationships

Men don't feel comfortable telling about the past to galz coz girls have bad habit of "taney bazzi". They keep it in their heart for ever (yeah i mean forever) and then whatever happens in your life this thing will come and haunt them. Girls will stick it on their face .. "o acha ...wo kia naam tua uss lerkee ka .....wo tu baree achee lagtee thee tumheen aab main aiseey kaprey pehtee hoon hoon to tumheen bara......."

Girls feel comfortable because they know that guy will most probably bury the story and forget it and most probably will never bring it in discussion in their life.

24

Re: past relationships

If ANYONE (guy or girl) is comforatbale with a person with a past, and in fact doesn't have a past of their own, are they not just lowering their standards/cheapining themselves? Or does being "okay" with someone's past mean that they swear they're over it, and regret it deeply?

Married people, was your first love, really a love?
25

Re: past relationships

lol
although i like the lack of gender symbols, it keeps online discussion more focused and impersonal.

26

Re: past relationships

IMHO, ghaltiyan insaanon se hi hoti hein. If someone truly regrets and feels bad about it, I wouldnt beat them up over it.

After all, there might be a time when I might need someone to forgive me too.

27

Re: past relationships

^ hmm yea but why bring it up wiht your wife, you made a mistake in past you dont need to vent about that to your wife for that might lessen your emotional burden but will add to hers i think.

28

i disagree wid u CROQUET, i believe letting your spouse know the whole truth about your past BEFORE marriage is the best thing you can do for your relationship, cuz with experience i have come to the understanding JHOOT aur BURAAI jitnee chhupaalo its gonna byte u in da ass someday, so y hurt ur spouse and relationship at a later stage in life rather than spilling the beans upfront and let your partner make an informed decision. This way you can give your 100% to this new relationship without a guilt at the back of ur head.

I dont know if ppl will agree wid me but thats wat i am thinkin of doin when ever i get into a relationship.

As far as the topic of this thread goes, well i believe key jo jaisa hai uss ko waisee milegee, so if you have been all over the place and expect to get a PIOUS untouched biwi and that she should have to compromise with the fact that she is not the first one touching you then i feel that is hypocracy and height of double standards, i think key past jaisa bhi ho but from the day she is with me her present and future is mine and only mine what happened in the past has nothing to do with me neither can i do anything bout it, aur agar itnee hee taqleef hai to mat karo.

29

well my hubbi and i had past relationships and i was worried about it…as was he so we both told each other…i feel great cuz we got married on a clean slate no secrets between us.. …we are happi :)..if we have a fight im not gna use it against him..and and he wont either.if i accidently bring it up he hates it..its the past and that were it shud stay..you i feel that you gota be honest wiv ur partners and then the trust issue cums up…buh everytime i see her i feel like grabbing her skull and smacking it against the wall…:shikari:..she is such a *****:mad3:…(calm)

30

certainly a matter of opinion. i try not nose around in his past and i would be pissed deadly if he did not return the courtesy. However if you are the sort of person who cares about that certainly discuss it before marriage. I think people change and i like to give them a benefit of doubt. However being all over the place usually turns into a habit and old habits die hard sort of thing. So yea one should find out what one is getting into before marriage but once u r married i jsut find it weird that you would bring up ur past. what is to be gained?

31

agree with u wholeheartedly kaun..

and im not even talking about several encounters.. not even talking about sexual acts.. im talking about simply being involved with someone (without having to lose virginity.. as most people think that if ur with someone, ur not a virgin).. im talknig simply about being involved with someone and not working out...

can a guy, or a girl ur interested in.. can they understand u, forgive u (not that it needs to be forgiven by them) but just accept you for who u r now.. rather than see who u were in ur past?

32

here the question is about before marriage.. not afterwards.

would you discuss things prior to getting married...

33

Re: past relationships

@past relationships..
forgiving and forgetting is not always easy...you cant entirely forget..and you cant entirely forgive...but whether its a girl or a guy...the most important thing to think about is...what good will come out of bringing up the past...thinking about it..or crying over it...what has happened is done and over..its past....now its you two..if you wont get over it..or forgive your partner....you will forget to live...and this life is waaaay too short....it will be over before you know...
on the other hand..if the person from the past is a constant reminder....somehow.....then you both need to figure out a way to get rid of it...
aankh ojhal..pahaarR ojhal....:)

34

hmm sadzz this is totally off the top of my head. If I was a person who was fussy or emotionally hung onto the idea of marrying someone who had never before been emotionally attached i would certainly bring it up before i get into marriage. However lets suppose i get married without giving the matter a thought for i think the person i am marrying is coming from a similar background and hasnt been involved it is assumed belief on my part. However human nature is tricky, it should not matter who my partner was involved with prior to our relation ship. For it had nothing to do with us. But i still think i would prefer not to know of his involvement before me. For i come from a backgrounf where involvement before marriage is considered unethical and its sort of ingrained in my thoughts. I would certainly consider it to be morally wrong and therefore that might perhaps temporarily influence the way i view my SO. However if the fear or resentment is ill founded(and there is no emotional garbage getting in our way) i hope i might be able to look beyond it.

But different people view it differently, my husband believes if he loves me for who i am then that emotion shouldnot be over shadowed by what once was, no matter how out of norm for him.
I have selfish and childish and narcisst view of the matter, I know. But in all honesty that is how it would be for me. It would take me time to get used to the idea that while i kept myself to myself before my marriage ,i married someone who did not.

35

agree with you whole heartedly

36

i would do the same when getting married again start fresh new slate i dont mind getting married to divorcee atleast they would understand n be better prepared.

Timepass-July 2012
37

[QUOTE]

I would like to share a humble opinion regarding people who change girl friends / boy friends from time to time only for fun. Let us consider our heart (emotions and love) to be like a piece of paper

[/QUOTE]

And in my humble opinion you argument fail becasue your analogy is wrong. Our emotions are not stocked in some place and we won't runout if we waste em. Besides love has nothing to do with heart.

Timepass-July 2012
38

Re: past relationships

Im sure there are people who date just for fun but the majority of us are looking for that special someone. In the process of finding The One you end up talking or meeting a lot of different people and mistakes happen.

I would of course be honest with the person but sometimes people shy away from telling the truth for fear of rejection. In that case, hiding things like a divorce or kids is WRONG!!!!!!!

But, bear in mind past relationships are just that: in the past. I dont think it has anything to do with the future unless its still trailing you.

39

Re: past relationships

keeping the lid on is always a good idea.

Zakhm-e-dil ko