i hav always given gifts to my MIL n SIL n never saw them using them.recently i was at my SIL’s house n her best friend was there by chance
AND she was wearing the suit i gav her…
any comments on how one should react in such a situation.
how i reacted will tell later
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
Hmmmm, it is possible that the friend was wearing an print identical to the one you gave. Some prints and boutique outfits are often mass-produced.
I say don't make too much of a big deal out of it. Whether she wore the suit or gave it to someone else.....your gift STILL gave your SIL some benefit/use. (And that's why we give gifts in the first place...so that it be of some use/faida to the person)
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**And they're your in-laws and I'm sure you'd rather avoid starting/getting into a sticky argument with them.
Would you rather that your gift sit in some closet.....unused? That's a waste. If one is not going to use something, it's best to give it to someone who will use it. Sometimes people give suits to poor and unfortunate people.
That suit was meant to be worn.....and now it has fulfilled its destiny of being worn by someone. Your gift came in handy for your in-laws to give to someone. And that someone is using it.
Life is too short to fret over this. In the future, just get them something more multifunctional such as a gift card, kitchen ware. Clothes/suits are tricky gifts to give because everyone has different taste and sometimes a particular style doesn't suit one's figure, looks, etc.
Take it easy. You were nice enough to give a gift. It's the thought that counts :)
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
My sister and I always get unstitched suits from our family members and our mum usually just gives them out to other people as gifts. We understand that it's the thought that matters, and we really appreciate the good will/sentiments, but we rarely get a chance to wear shalwar kamiz (the last time I wore it was last year at my cousin's wedding!). And giving it to someone who would actually use it is certainly better than having it sit in our closet gathering dust.
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
Doesn't matter if you wear it yourself or give it to someone else. Either way, the gift still provided advantage, benefit, faida.
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
Once you gift something to someone, its their property now. They can gift it to someone else or use it for themselves, their choice
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
hey thats the suit i gave to mil :]
liked it ;)
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
humaray haaN bhi aisa hota haiN ! achay achay gifts log agay kissi ko gift kar detain haiN! i actually never really recieved a gift i hated so I haven't done it and I don't think I will either. mashAllah!
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
fair enough we have a culture where our mums redistribute gifts, but i know that when i buy gifts for my sisters, MIL and SIL i don't just fob them off with anything, i always buy something unique....i would be very hurt
on my last visit to Pakistan my SIL was getting married so i brought her lots of shoes and matching handbags and cardigans which i thought would be appreciated....a few days later, my MIL has gathered my SIL's friends and some of my cousins and had what looked like a 'landa bazaar' set up, telling them to take what they wanted... i was so offended b'cos i went to alot of effort...she'd taken out all M&S and Clarks stuff, the rest she was giving away. i wanted to say something but my hubby never let me utter a single word..........
it was obviously a nice suit which is why she passed it on to her friend and not some random person, i hope for your sake you never said much, you should have complimented teh suit though!!!
how did you react Mabrook???
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
i would be hurt....please some advice given her is very diplomatic and pc, and sometimes you need to hear what it really feels like and what you should really do...its not about the suit being unused or otherwise. its the feelings, my mum has given so many nice suits to my aunts who have picked it up and distributed it elsewhere. and you said that you have never seen them wear what you give. so id ask them. one is ok. but if yuo think they give them all away i would be hurt, and i would talk to sil....i suggest you mention it and ask if she doesnt like them then maybe next time youll think twice about getting her a suit and maybe get her something she uses like a cream or makeup etc.....change the gift.....my aunts now get embarrased and have stopped giving suits out......my mum made a point of it cos it happened a few times....and it hurt my mums feelings...its not that its a nice suit, its almost like they dnt want it at all.....so anyway talk to them...could be harmless...
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
it was obviously a nice suit which is why she passed it on to her friend and not some random person, i hope for your sake you never said much, you should have complimented teh suit though!!! how did you react Mabrook???
u r right if it wasn't nice she wouldn't hav given it to her best friend n she wouldn't hav gone to the trouble of altering n wearing it.
i would be hurt....please some advice given her is very diplomatic and pc, and sometimes you need to hear what it really feels like and what you should really do...its not about the suit being unused or otherwise. its the feelings, my mum has given so many nice suits to my aunts who have picked it up and distributed it elsewhere. and you said that you have never seen them wear what you give. so id ask them. one is ok. but if yuo think they give them all away i would be hurt, and i would talk to sil....i suggest you mention it and ask if she doesnt like them then maybe next time youll think twice about getting her a suit and maybe get her something she uses like a cream or makeup etc.....change the gift.....my aunts now get embarrased and have stopped giving suits out......my mum made a point of it cos it happened a few times....and it hurt my mums feelings...its not that its a nice suit, its almost like they dnt want it at all.....so anyway talk to them...could be harmless...
this is wat i think that they always pass gifts to someone else but first time i actually got to see it.
the thing with inlws is if u don't giv them anything they get pissed n if u giv them anything(obviously u cannot giv them cheap stuff)they never like it.
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
well give them readymade suits...or tailormade suits to have them made to their exact measurments....that way only they can wear it!
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
hmmm and since it was you that called me an idiot....well i guess i shoudve given you an idiotic answer .....oh well!
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
no nadz i never called u an idiot…not directly:D u just acted so childlike in that post but..oh well 
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
yeah that is a bit weird. If your close with your SIL id confront her.
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
me ma always says that "lain ka dain hota hai" so we of course pass on the gifts that we get to other people. However we of course see who we are giving the gift too and if they know the person that gave the gift or not. My mom says why waste money on buying new gifts every time, all of the things that come to us we already have and hardly keep them. My mom has a cupboard full of new suits etc that she does not use and whenever it is some occasion she just gets something from there.
I on the other hand do not follow the lain ka dain principle and keep all the gifts I get and then buy new ones when the time comes to gift someone.
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
how did you react Mabrook???
well pyari i never reacted :(
i mean i wanted to tell the friend"Aapi ye suit diya to Sil ko tha per aap pe ziada acha lag reha hai";)
i mean its not worth it.n RV no i didn't fret over it.but the thing is u feel like ur time n money esp money is wasted.
yes i did mention it to hubby n told him that next time don't expect me to giv her anything.but even if i had to next time its gonna be sumething on clearance in the wrong size. :D
i feel like sharing a secret though...last time when my mom gav gifts to MIL n FIL she(mil) made faces but said nothing.After a while she threw the bag on a side n just forgot abt it.it stayed there on floor for a week.b4 coming back i secretly returned that bag to my mom n said giv them to someone who deserves them
never told hubby or anyone. hehe
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
well pyari i never reacted :( i mean i wanted to tell the friend"Aapi ye suit diya to Sil ko tha per aap pe ziada acha lag reha hai";) i mean its not worth it.n RV no i didn't fret over it.but the thing is u feel like ur time n money esp money is wasted. yes i did mention it to hubby n told him that next time don't expect me to giv her anything.but even if i had to next time its gonna be sumething on clearance in the wrong size. :D
i feel like sharing a secret though...last time when my mom gav gifts to MIL n FIL she(mil) made faces but said nothing.After a while she threw the bag on a side n just forgot abt it.it stayed there on floor for a week.*b4 coming back i secretly returned that bag to my mom n said giv them to someone who deserves them * never told hubby or anyone. hehe
GOOD MOVE!!!
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
never give in laws stuff.
Re: Passing ones gift to someone else
Aishiii: My mom does that too :D
If you give someone something... then it is theirs and they can do what they wish with it....
Personally, if someone gives me something, like an asian suit for example, and i know i am not going to use it then i would rather pass it to someone else who will use it, rather than keeping it myself, as i will only end up storing it somewhere and forget about it.
Just be grateful that it is being put to use by someone who appreciates it, rather than it being sat in the back of a cupboard somewhere.