pasand ki shadi n mums

Gr8Heera · January 25, 2009, 12:17pm

OK herez the story. And I want some sensible advice
I’m the only son, living with my parents, they’re both old and my sisters are all married n Therez this girl, I worked with like 2 years ago for a few months. There was nothing between us back then. Just a lot of respect and we were on friendly terms but nothing more than that. Khair later on, we met again and we got involved into each other.
I’ve always wanted an arranged marriage, so initially I thought it would be best not to tell my mom that we’re involved and make it look like an arranged one. Shouldn’ve have tried to be a smart a$$. My mom had some kind of idea that I like her. and ofcourse she didn’t like her at all Before sending the rishta to her place, I was so sure that she’d like her. and even if she doesn’t, she’d respect my opinion. As for her parents, they have no problem with me.
initially my mom showed such a strong reaction that she doesn’t like her and all that. I went into depression. She saw my condition and sort of agreed. her heart is still not into it but she’d do it for my sake.
But I have this concern about my future with that girl. I mean I don’t want to be sandwiched between my mom and my wife. This girl is like very caring and very well behaved and I have no concerns regarding her. I don’t want them to have any problems betweent hem. They both mean so much to me. Leaving my parents is NOT an option. I love them too and they’re my responsibility. they’ve done so much for me that I can’t ever repay them. And I don’t want to laeve this girl either. She knows about the problems I’m facing at home and she too is worried.
and for this reason, we’re both getting confused as to what to do.
I love her and ofcourse want to marry her
I don’t want to hurt my mom’s feelings, she feels insecure and all and I’m reassuring her all the time
and most important of all, I dont’ want ke I marry her and then that girl suffers because of me if God forbid, my mom doesn’t accept her dil se
so what should I do
P.S. ‘istikhara’ on both sides are fine

When parents say no there might be some reason to say no.

Sometimes parents without any reason say no because whey guy get married he only listens and believes to the girl and not to the family. That scare them and they don’t want to lose their son.

If istikhara is good then you guys can go for it. If any or both of them are not good for each other then Allah will help you.

It’s your responsibility to have a balance between your mom, sisters and wife.

No matter you marry the girl you love or your moms pasand there will be problems between 2 of them as it’s going on from sadiaan (many years).

If anyone starts anything wrong then there are problem. It’s your responsiblity to find out truth if any problem is there and do good to correct the mis understanding and do Imaandari no baymaani with anyone. Allah will help you.