parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
41

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

did your mum detach herself from you and put you in a seperate room from the day you were born then? im assuming she did, hence why your NOT another Hitler...

42

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

ooooohhh snap!

43

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

ok its not good to be judgemental. Every one preferes their own ways and suits their needs.

many things play a role here. My babies were/ are extreme clingy... I mean extreme. first one was born and as soon as i put her in the crib in the hospital she would wake up and cry and cry .. so had to let her sleep in my bed from the beginning. same at home, crib no .. parents bed yes .. so to get my own sleep i had to let her and then my hubby wanted it too. now she sleeps in her room and no problems of her coming to us at night.

the second one is the same, but she would sleep in her crib till she realised that she is alone, and then a sharp cry/scream as the crib is stinging her ... so the crib was till she would wake up sometimes during night. One thing is my own emotions, feelings. I had to move her crib to the other end of the room, as my side was to the window and as we dont use heathing at night, it would get cold at her side. I remember I would get up 3-4 times just to go and look at her if she is ok and if for few hours she has not cried ... i would get up with my heart beating and running to see if she is ok ... so the idea of sleeping another room till baby reaches one is not mines ...

now she sleeps with us in our bed, my husband loves it and says ... this time will not come back so enjoy ... which we do .. till she will get kicked out when baby # 3 takes her place.

44

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

THIS. Only I wasn't gonna say it so nicely.

45

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

Tell your cousin to buy a baby monitor. Most kids stores have it......

46

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

there is no right or wrong as everybody else suggested. My son gradually started sleeping in his own bed by the time he was about 8 month, but in our room. I was too sick for first 3-4 months to move around, so he used to be with me in the our bed, it was very difficult to get him used to his own crib, then someone suggested to try a toddler bed and surprisingly enough he was ok being in a toddler bed, off course with the safety bed railing. We were hoping to move him to his own bedroom when he turned one but our corridor of our new home was long so kind of felt unfair to put him in his own bedroom, and or bedroom was huge so we put his bed away from ours.
But whne we moved to a different country by that time he was 2, he was again in our bed, but once he settled a bit we seperated his bed atleast.

He turned 3 now and still sleeps in our bedroom...I guess he will take his own time but I do intend to put him in his own bedroom once we move back to north america.

Right now he does know he has his own bedroom with his toys etc and he naps in his own room if he needs to and we don't let him bring toys or play regularly in our room so he does know he sleeps with us but it is NOT his room.

I agree with the fact that when a child sleeps in parents bed or bedroom it disturbs both child and parents, I think it is fair for both to move child to his/her own room once they are secure within their surroundings.

47

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

I totally agree with you. I am also in favour that the baby should be with the parents for a minimum one year. My own neice has ended up crying soooo much when she woke up and didnt see any one around, she would hold her breath totally and we got soo scared when she did that. At other times, while sleeping she would have a nightmare or i dont know what and would wake up yelling and crying hysterically. Now she has started to crawl so she would end up on one edgy side or something.

Parents should be with the baby for sure. Screw the privacy issues for a few months,whats the super big deal. Babies do end up doing some thing wrong some times if they dont see any one with them. Such a safety risk should not be there.

48

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

Monitors are pretty sensitive. I can hear Bunny breathe and I listen to her as I fall asleep.

Our plan was to move the crib into our room initially, but it wouldn't fit through the doorways. One option was to take it apart and reassemble it, but we figured lets try a couple nights with her in her own room. We didn't start until we got the video monitor (we exchanged the regular audio monitor we had, for our own peace of mind). Anyway, she was just a little less than 6 months when we moved her. She slept soundly from day 1 in there. It actually doesn't feel any different from when she was in a bassinet in our room, except that our coughing and shifting is less likely to disturb her. We are conscious of every movement she makes.

I am not "letting her go" or "desperate for a separation." I've just found a situation that works for all of us. She gets a bath from both parents, a feed, cradled to sleep and then put down for the night. She's hardly lacking in care and attention.

Around 8 months and again around 10 months or so her separation anxiety kicked in (as well as new teeth) and so her nights were disturbed and she wanted to be with us. We would comfort her and put her back down. Sometimes she would settle, sometimes she wouldn't. But having the crib in our room wouldn't have made a difference. She wanted to be held and those were some rough nights. That's all part of parenting, and fulfilling your child's needs takes many different forms.

For the past few nights she was running a fever and we kept her with us to keep an eye on her. We'll probably transition her back soon. Lets see how that goes.

If you approach parenting with hard and fast rules, and with unreasonable judgments of other parents rather than an open mind toward the process, you're going to struggle. And you'll also annoy the hell out of people who could otherwise be a nice support system for you.

49

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

To Nadz and DD: Who says placing baby to sleep in her own room is the same as letting the baby cry it out? These are two totally separate topics.

As for crying it out, it didn't work for us, and I didn't like it. Bunny doesn't cry unless there is a reason. And letting her cry just upsets her more. However, in the middle of the night, I don't immediately run to her. If she seems just to have been startled out of sleep, I give her a couple minutes to fall back to sleep. If she doesn't settle down, I go in to check on her. i resist the urge to just pick her up immediately if she is upset (whether during the day or at night); rather I try to soothe her or talk to her or try to figure out what is bothering her.

Why weren't the parents you guys mentioned using monitors and checking on the child, when needed? These are very simple and common tools.

50

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

Sahar02, you're parenting techniques are very similar to my parenting approach. I love how you handle these night time issues. Kudos to you!!

51

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

Just rereading your initial post makes me wonder if the strong feeling you have about this is a little bit defensive. Like you're talking to all these people who feel it is a matter of fact that you must provide a separate room for your child. And for whatever reason, if you did not feel it was necessary, did not plan ahead for it, or just didn't have the means to provide it, you go the opposite way and insist that what they are doing is WRONG (not just different, but WRONG).

If this is even partially true, just remember to be aware of these kinds of feelings, and know that a good parent is not defined by the THINGS s/he gives, but by the love, guidance, and wisdom s/he provides. People are at different stages in their lives and in their relationships, and that affects their approaches as parents. Don't let it get to you. But also don't let it sour you toward different ideas and methods.

52

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

I am not declaring any one's parenting ways WRONG or RIGHT here. Its just a different style for every one, what ever works for them!

I was just giving my preference. I would prefer my constant check on the baby while he is next to me not even sparing the time for him to cry even for a littlw while i am away. Even with monitors, one may dose off to such deep sleep that they may not realize. Specially when the child grows up to 1 - 3 years,they have a habit of touching every thing - decoration pieces, electrivity plugs, utensils etc. If they roam about they might hurt themselves even if we look away for 2-3 minutes.
Although, these circumstances may be rare i am not comfortable with letting the risk be there.

Every one, has their own way and for some monitors or no monitors may be a more comfortable option for both but for some having the baby with them with their constant supervision is a more comfortable and safer option.

53

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

^ Of course. No one is saying you have to put the baby separately. However, please remember that as a new parent you will fall into a deep sleep, but you will also wake when you are needed. It's a crazy blur of a time, but you are wired to make it work. It just won't be exactly as you plan.

54

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

^ I would like u to move to toronto next June please... I need you! ;)

55

Re: parents who put their newborns to slp in another room is WRONG.

^:hugz:

56

reason why baby should slp in same room.

just read an article in the newspaper where a baby was having fits, without making a sound, only his movement made his mum wake up and look over to him. he was having those epileptic fit types,and was going blue, they rushed him to hosp, where luckily he was treated quickly and survived, they said its some form of meningitis, rare but happens. now these parents normally have him slleep seperatly, however since he was not well ( normal cold and flu) they had him in their room. had they not had him there, doctors said chances are he would not have survived, ( cos normally parents dont check on their babies unless they cry) which he wasnt, all of what happened to him was in mostly silence.

makes me shudder, and pray for babies who are kept apart from their parents room. some things are just better off not worrying about. i think independence argument does not outweigh this one.

thank god he survived.

an extension of my othe thread

57

Re: reason why baby should slp in same room.

So glad he is well.

Concentrate on taking care of your child, rather than making judgements about others.

58

Re: reason why baby should slp in same room.

^^^ LOL

You know its funny but my own nephew always had his own room but my sister.. umm being stupid let him sleep with her ever since he was a baby. He is 4 now and refuses to sleep alone. My sister needs a lot of time to study but with this kid always demanding for mommy dear when he sleep, she is just regretting. Hope that doesn't happen to you Nadz.

Anyway, I think each parent is different. You can't tell someone to do something just because you think its right.

59

Re: reason why baby should slp in same room.

tauba hai sahar, is mein gussa kernay wali kya baat hai. its just a news clip

60

Re: reason why baby should slp in same room.

Agree.