Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
okay, then next time drink some caffeinated before you log on to GS. :)
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
I have no problem in older people getting special treatment in terms of bus tickets.** however, i have a problem with mother inlaws disresepecting their daughter inlaws!!** so if **your wife gets disrespected by your mother, she should just suck it up and put up with her?? **You are totally delusional if you think that western daughter inlaws just deal with in the insults, like pakistanis do. most of them talk back to their mother inlaws. Respect is earned, its not their given right just because they are old. you cannot compare a misbehaving mother inlaw to getting discount tickets.
it is not about west, east, Pakistani or non Pakistanis.
I already made it clear I was talking in general the elders need to be respected.
For the case in hand: Yes, if it is only verbal 'abuse' then wife can and should handle it with patience.
In older age, people become similar to children, besides they may have some sickness, or dementia etc.
They need to be given some leeway.
It only makes the younger person look good in the eyes of others if he/she does not misbehave with older people in return.
Not sure how old you are...but..
Its Ok, one day you will understand when get somewhat experienced and mature.
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
it is not about west, east, Pakistani or non Pakistanis.
I already made it clear I was talking in general the elders need to be respected.
respect is one thing, but if one is being disrespectful themselves, they dont deserve respect.
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For the case in hand: Yes, if it is only verbal 'abuse' then wife can and should handle it with patience.
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easy for you to say. typical pakistani husband mentality.
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In older age, people become similar to children, besides they may have some sickness, or dementia etc.
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not every old person gets dementia first of all. what about a mother inlaw whos in her 50's has absolutley no sickness or dementia, should she be allowed to misbehave and get away with it?? secondly, why is the disrespect mainly for the DIL only?? why are they not disrespectful to their son inlaws and to their own daughters?? what if the wife is feeling sick , is it justfied if she yells at the mother inlaw? afterall, sickness is an excuse to be disrespectful according to your twisted logic, right?
[quote]
Not sure how old you are...but..
Its Ok, one day you will understand when get somewhat experienced and mature.
[/QUOTE]
im 27 and i was once engaged to a guy who thought just like you, thankfully i broke it off, and found a real man who knows how to protect his wife. his mother could disrespect me but her son was a spineless wimp would never call her out on her rudeness.
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
OP, according to the situation you mentioned, in my view parents in law are justified here. they have been hurt by the same person multiple times and it is all natural that forgiveness can't come so easily to them.
there might come a time when they can bring themselves to forgive her either for the sake of her and their son or to please ALLAH, but only time can tell this.
btw, as you mentioned DIL repeatedly misbehaved with them, i am wondering why her husband didn't stop her from the beginning and why he led things to get this far?
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
OP, according to the situation you mentioned, in my view parents in law are justified here. they have been hurt by the same person multiple times and it is all natural that forgiveness can't come so easily to them. there might come a time when they can bring themselves to forgive her either for the sake of her and their son or to please ALLAH, but only time can tell this.
btw, as you mentioned DIL repeatedly misbehaved with them, i am wondering why her husband didn't stop her from the beginning and why he led things to get this far?
Husband is being controlled by the wife... He hides her mistakes and protects her in every way. The husband has a tendency to listen to his wife more than anybody else since it was a love marriage. The woman made him travel 100,000 miles so she can live near her family.
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
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Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
respect is one thing, but if one is being disrespectful themselves, they dont deserve respect.
easy for you to say. typical pakistani husband mentality.
not every old person gets dementia first of all. what about a mother inlaw whos in her 50's has absolutley no sickness or dementia, should she be allowed to misbehave and get away with it?? secondly, why is the disrespect mainly for the DIL only?? why are they not disrespectful to their son inlaws and to their own daughters?? what if the wife is feeling sick , is it justfied if she yells at the mother inlaw? afterall, sickness is an excuse to be disrespectful according to your twisted logic, right?
im 27 and i was once engaged to a guy who thought just like you, thankfully i broke it off, and found a real man who knows how to protect his wife. his mother could disrespect me but her son was a spineless wimp would never call her out on her rudeness.
Sorry to say:
You do need to get out a little more in fresh air.
Life is not two plus two four.
Good men from ALL background not only support their wives but at the same time tell their wives to keep behaving despite facing merely 'verbal abuse'.
Those men who let their wives disrespect parents or older guardians/relatives,... regardless they belong to their families or their wives families..., are sissy men and essentially
.............Joroo ke Ghulam.
I have no respect for those kind of men.
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
Sorry to say:
You do need to get out a little more in fresh air.
Life is not two plus two four.
Good men from ALL background not only support their wives but at the same time tell their wives to keep behaving despite facing merely 'verbal abuse'.
Those men who let their wives disrespect parents or older guardians/relatives,... regardless they belong to their families or their wives families..., are sissy men and essentially
.............Joroo ke Ghulam.
I have no respect for those kind of men.
so let me get this straight. Ek aurat Mard ki ghulam hosakti hai Magar ek Mard aurat ka ghulam nahi hosakta.. A girl's parents deserve just as much respect then why do we let son in laws disrespect them? Why do we ask our women to keep quiet no matter how disrespectful they are to her parents? Not only do they get away with it they make sure they continue to do this because that is how they control their wives. Right?
You reek of hate.
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
If my spouse misbehaved with my parents... even once... she's out of the picture
in your case that would be a reward for her.....ok just kidding :)
while the ideal situation would be that it never happens but unfortunately life is far from ideal. In any relationship, you always have to do root cause analysis before taking any step.
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
Everything is wrong in your post based on utter misconceptions.
Here is why:
1- I never said a woman can be ghulam of a man. Can you show me that???
2- I never said girl’s parents do not deserve just as respect as husband’s parents.
3- I never said son in laws can disrespect girl’s parents. Actually said they should not let their wives disrespect… any of the parents.
4- There is nothing about controlling anyone. It is about being civil and using good social skills.
5- Umpteen times I have said women are the biggest enemies of their kind. Day in and day out on Life1 one read it and in real life one sees it.
Please learn to read before accusing anyone of hate. 
Restored attachments:
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
i am telling you what is a norm in our desi society yet no one ever blames the man. It is somehow acceptable and all we say is, “choro Jane do”
why don’t they have a silly name like Joru ka ghulam for men who constantly talk smack about the girl’s parents or set limits to how many times she can go visit her parents? Yet if a woman were to disrespect her inlaws and her man backs her up, he becomes Joru ka ghulam. In that case, a whole lot of women back their husbands and let them get away with disrespecting her parents. He doesn’t even live with her parents! Sharing a house with others is not easy so there will certainly be times when one party may feel disrespected. It is not so bad if her husband defends her actions. Women do it all the time and lie to their Maika Walay about how happy they are.
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
Good men from ALL background not only support their wives but at the same time tell their wives to keep behaving despite facing merely 'verbal abuse'.
verbal abuse is can be even more painful than physical abuse! no wife should have to suffer verbal abuse, if you think it's merely okay, then there is something seriously wrong with your way of thinking.
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Those men who let their wives disrespect parents or older guardians/relatives,... regardless they belong to their families or their wives families..., are sissy men and essentially
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and those men who let their mothers disrespect their wives are complete jerks and no REAL man would ever let his wife get verbally abused. period. men who do that should not even be called men.
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I have no respect for those kind of men.
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you have your opinion, I have mine. in my opinion men who let their mothers abuse their wives dont even deserve to have a wife, they should stay happily with their mothers. a man who cannot even protect his wife is the lowest of all in my opinion.
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
Have you ever had parents who would never forgive your spouse because they misbehaved with them?......
Yes, once I had such a set. Had to get a replacement one.
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
Husband is being controlled by the wife... He hides her mistakes and protects her in every way. The husband has a tendency to listen to his wife more than anybody else since it was a love marriage. The woman made him travel 100,000 miles so she can live near her family.
100,000miles. Alright. After this whole journey where did they exactly reach?
Eggshellbabe
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
Re: PARENTS RESPECT (BSB HATERS, Stay Out!)
And right people to the right 