There is no excuse to scream, yell, or use foul language against older people in the family.
There is no amount of so called abuse or pushing around which can call for these reactions................ unless there is .....obvious physical abuse or manhandling.
Read below also.
But........... the foul language is always an abuse against elderly person.
**I cannot support disrespect for elderly people and even in extreme situations, avoidance is better than engaging in misbehavior.
This kind of suggestion to misbehave can only lead to disaster.
**
I agree with you. How can an elderly forgive their son's spouse who misbehave in a very bad manner? Don't you think healing time is needed?
The problem is that she has been disrespecting elders throughout from the time she has been married to this guy. Now, since she has disrespected the parents in a very bad manner, no one wants to deal with her... They don't want her to enter the house of husband's father...*** The parents told them to stay happy in their house but told his son only he is allowed to meet them. *** I think this girl will be able to learn a lesson now about respecting elders... She has misbehaved so many times which has caused this conclusion. So are parents action justified?
If it was your parents, how would you react? Don't we all want people to respect our parents?
Why isn't this an appropriate solution? There are people who genuinely don't get along and are probably better off not speaking (as speaking to each other on bad terms usually leads to greater drama). Also, you mentioned that the girl in this case has a tendency to be rude to her in-laws and has done it on multiple occasions. If that is the case, it is likely that she will continue behaving this way (as some people never learn) and everyone is probably better off this way as it will avoid drama.
Why isn't this an appropriate solution? There are people who genuinely don't get along and are probably better off not speaking (as speaking to each other on bad terms usually leads to greater drama). Also, you mentioned that the girl in this case has a tendency to be rude to her in-laws and has done it on multiple occasions. If that is the case, it is likely that she will continue behaving this way (as some people never learn) and everyone is probably better off this way as it will avoid drama.
I agree with you that it saves drama but this girl doesn't want to be seen as a bad daughter-in-law.... Don't you think the son must be feeling guilty?
I agree with you that it saves drama but this girl doesn't want to be seen as a bad daughter-in-law.... Don't you think the son must be feeling guilty?
No, I don't think he has anything to feel guilty about. His wife is an adult woman and responsible for her own actions and chose (on multiple occasions) to behave disrespectfully. Also, if she doesn't want to be seen as a bad daughter-in-law, then maybe she shouldn't behave as such? Personally, I think the son should stay out of it and allow his wife and his parents to deal with whatever issue they have on their own and in their own time.
No, I don't think he has anything to feel guilty for. His wife is an adult woman and responsible for her own actions and chose (on multiple occasions) to behave disrespectfully.
I think the son is in a very bad position but this should be a learning lesson for the woman to control her tongue.
I agree with you that it saves drama but this girl doesn't want to be seen as a bad daughter-in-law.... Don't you think the son must be feeling guilty?
It is just another tactic to make her husband think that she is trying to make up with his parents but it is his parents' fault that they won't allow her back in their lives. Don't fall for it!
It is just another tactic to make her husband think that she is trying to make up with his parents but it is his parents' fault that they won't allow her back in their lives. Don't fall for it!
The girl is at fault. Parents want her to realize her mistake.
lol. This is life1 BSB, you will find a thousand justifications/logical explanations for why the DIL might have done that and also to somehow put the blame on the parents. So its kind of futile asking the general populace here.
Anyways, coming to your post. That is a perfect solution. Such kind of women actually want the husband to separate from his parents. First they push the husband to do badtamizi himself and turn him against his family. If they fail at that, then they themselves start misbehaving, so that everyone is forced to take a decision to separate this couple from the family. First, the guy tries to keep contact. But gradually it withers and finally breaks off. Such women also constantly fill their children with propaganda as well and go to great lengths to stop them from interacting with paternal grand parents.
You will find a lot of support for such behaviour in life1.
lol. This is life1 BSB, you will find a thousand justifications/logical explanations for why the DIL might have done that and also to somehow put the blame on the parents. So its kind of futile asking the general populace here.
Anyways, coming to your post. That is a perfect solution. Such kind of women actually want the husband to separate from his parents. First they push the husband to do badtamizi himself and turn him against his family. If they fail at that, then they themselves start misbehaving, so that everyone is forced to take a decision to separate this couple from the family. First, the guy tries to keep contact. But gradually it withers and finally breaks off. Such women also constantly fill their children with propaganda as well and go to great lengths to stop them from interacting with paternal grand parents.
You will find a lot of support for such behaviour in life1.
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Your answer make great sense.... What if the girl is making her husband to pay respect to her parents but when it comes to the husband's parents then she doesn't respect them. She has moved the husband really far away from the family. Don't u think it is unfair to not treat the husband's parents right? What is the right solution for the parents? Just be happy in their lives and not bother about the daughter-in-law's behavior? Don't you think that the husband should open his eyes and make his wife realize how batameez she is? She did apologize but husband dad is not forgiving.... Her ek ko apni izzat pyari hai.
BSB, your first post is all about how she has apologized and changed and all that. Everything else you've posted suggests that that is not the case. These are two separate scenarios.
Your answer make great sense.... What if the girl is making her husband to pay respect to her parents but when it comes to the husband's parents then she doesn't respect them. She has moved the husband really far away from the family. Don't u think it is unfair to not treat the husband's parents right? What is the right solution for the parents? Just be happy in their lives and not bother about the daughter-in-law's behavior? Don't you think that the husband should open his eyes and make his wife realize how batameez she is? She did apologize but husband dad is not forgiving.... Her ek ko apni izzat pyari hai.
Life is not fair. This guy is unlucky that he got such a woman as his wife. There is nothing that can be done to fix this. The parents need to understand that this is the only way for things to remain calm. If the guy tries to make his wife truly modify her behaviour, its not going to work. Secondly, the parents wouldn't want a forced apology/compliance on the DILs part. Basically, she has made everyone understand what she thinks of them. So basically, to save the guys marriage and for the parents have some izzat, they need to let go of it and write off this particular son/dil/kids from their mind. The more they try to fix the problem, the more she is going to make the matters worse.
Life is not fair. This guy is unlucky that he got such a woman as his wife. There is nothing that can be done to fix this. The parents need to understand that this is the only way for things to remain calm. If the guy tries to make his wife truly modify her behaviour, its not going to work. Secondly, the parents wouldn't want a forced apology/compliance on the DILs part. Basically, she has made everyone understand what she thinks of them. So basically, to save the guys marriage and for the parents have some izzat, they need to let go of it and write off this particular son/dil/kids from their mind. The more they try to fix the problem, the more she is going to make the matters worse.
Do you think it is justified to not allow her to enter husband's parents house then?
Do you think it is justified to not allow her to enter husband's parents house then?
Yes. Definitely. She wouldn't want to enter either. Its usually the husband's fragile/ruptureed ego or sense of his 'izzat' that he would want her to be 'allowed' into the parents house. Otherwise neither the parents nor the DIL would want to be in presence of each other.
Yes. Definitely. She wouldn't want to enter either. Its usually the husband's fragile/ruptureed ego or sense of his 'izzat' that he would want her to be 'allowed' into the parents house. Otherwise neither the parents nor the DIL would want to be in presence of each other.
Why is she apologizing to the parents? For husband's sake only?