anyone who has adopted a child, please share, if you like, how this experience has been and what it entailed?
is adoption common in Pakistani society?
women would want to adopt a child more often or men in their early 40s?
what are some of the benefits of adoption on a universal, social and familial levels?
Dushwari
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
I wish more people adopted though.I have come accross so many couple's who dont, and yet I have a friend who wants to adopt even though she has biological children of her own...I was thinking that one day I may want to too:)..Esp an older kid who people usually donot adopt:)
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
InshAllah I will adopt a kid in like five years when I'm financially secure. It's always been a dream of mine. I loveeee kids!
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
Riya:waves:..how r you feeling?
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
Ask99,
noble thought. over population in the world is a stark issue.
and there are some couples who do not have their biological child/ren for diff reasons other than the most suspiciously-expected one, i.e. that one of the partners is not able to parent the child.
in case of single people who do not want to have a child of their own by getting married and beginning their own family, it is even a stickier concern - when to adopt, who to adopt and what does it mean to adopt a child, to them
in the absence of a partner.
yet, honest intentions of adopting for the sake of giving shelter to a less wealthy family's child, is a good deed.
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
kUCH MAT poocho 
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
I am not a parent nor have I ever adobted any children, so I would not be the best person to answer this question. And it is possible that I cannot fully understand the parent's feelings. One thing I do is that adobting children, education them properly (be it MALE or FEMALE), and marrying them in handsome manner is very noble cause. As for who would want to adopt, I do not think it has to do anything with gender.
In the times of Jahiliyya in Mecca, parents used to bury their daughters alive (fear of poverty and/or other reasons). Zaid (RA) would however take the daughters from the parents and tell the parents that he himself will take care of them. And when the daughters were old enough to marry, he would ask the daughters whether they want to go back to the parents or should he marry them off?
Adopting a children is a serious responsibility and one should fulfill it to the best of his/her ability if decides to undertake. Surely, Allah will gather us on Yaum-al-Qiyamah and show us everything that we did.
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
:>
thanks chothey bhai. this is a great validation.
Dushwari baji
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
great Sabriya786.
may Allah swt enable you to do so. amen.
best,
Dushwari
InshAllah I will adopt a kid in like five years when I'm financially secure. It's always been a dream of mine. I loveeee kids!
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
Ask99,
noble thought. over population in the world is a stark issue. and there are some couples who do not have their biological child/ren for diff reasons other than the most suspiciously-expected one, i.e. that one of the partners is not able to parent the child.
in case of single people who do not want to have a child of their own by getting married and beginning their own family, it is even a stickier concern - when to adopt, who to adopt and what does it mean to adopt a child, to them in the absence of a partner.
yet, honest intentions of adopting for the sake of giving shelter to a less wealthy family's child, is a good deed.
True and then there r some couples that have somuch love and financial aspect wise , can share, but never do. I wish more and more people becme aware of this and it really doesnt matter if the child is biological or not, in my eyes a child is a child.:)Beshak it is extra hard for a single person to raise a kid, let alone a ciouple.It is hard work which requires tons of patience:)
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
A very very close family friend couple adopted a son about 3-4 years ago and just last year they adopted the most beautiful babygirl ever, both from edhi in pakistan. Their only two children. :) I don't know how their own experience has been but our families interact almost daily and i can say by my own experience the kids are dearer to them than their own children would have been.
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
I texted u.I wanted to call:)
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
A very very close family friend couple adopted a son about 3-4 years ago and just last year they adopted the most beautiful babygirl ever, both from edhi in pakistan. Their only two children. :) I don't know how their own experience has been but our families interact almost daily and i can say by my own experience the kids are dearer to them than their own children would have been.
such a heartfelt story:)thanks for sharing
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
I've always wanted to adopt a child, but it's always been hammered into my head that islam does not allow adoption. I never knew about what HHL said...
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
^^
Islam allows adoption but as far as I know, you have to call the children by their real parent's name. You cannot hide the child's biological parents and become one instead. And if the parent's names are not known, that they are your brothers in islam and friends. :)
Allah has not made for any man two hearts within him; nor has He made your wives whose backs you liken to the backs of your mothers as your mothers, nor has He made those whom you assert to be your sons your real sons; these are the words of your mouths; and Allah speaks the truth and He guides to the way.
Assert their relationship to their fathers; this is more equitable with Allah; but if you do not know their fathers, then they are your brethren in faith and your friends; and there is no blame on you concerning that in which you made a mistake, but (concerning) that which your hearts do purposely (blame may rest on you), and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.
[Surah Ahzab: 4-5]
WaAllah ho Alim
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
dushwari
the expereince has been fantastic
there are 2 sets of challenges
one is getting ready mentally, fears of will teh kid be accepted, could I do justice to the child etc are big things to deal with, it is a big responsibility
second is teh amount of paperwork not just before adoption but after adoption as well to finalize things, I understand why they ant to do backgrond checks but it takes a long time and many hoops to jump through.
Majority of adoptions in Pakistan are kept a secret, this is straight from teh mouth of bilquis edhi. that is why most kids adopted are newborns and not many people adopt older kids.
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
I've always wanted to adopt a child, but it's always been hammered into my head that islam does not allow adoption. I never knew about what HHL said...
did the prophet not 'adopt' a child?
the only thing not allowed is what HHL has noted, u cant pass the kid as your own and hide the lineage.
sadly majority of adoptions that do go on in pakistan are exactly that, where a newborn is taken and passed as one's biological child, mostly because of the way our society is.
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
so long as the child has a safe, secure, loving home and a good future ahead, i think it should not matter whether you try and pass the child off as a biological one or an adopted one (outside of the religious ruling stated above, which might not be an issue for certain people). i mean, the end justifies it, no?
i would definitely consider adoption- i think there are too many children who need homes and who are deserving.
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
I would love to adopt kids from all over the world: one from China (yellow), one from Africa (black), one from Pakistan (brown), and one from Russia (white). Sab ko urdu sikhao, sab ko desi banaoo.. :rotato:
P.S. this post is not meant to be racist or offensive. :halo:
Re: Parents of Adopted child/ren
LOL @ sab ko urdu sikhao, sab ko desi banao 