…and I thought parents blackmailin’ was used to be done in old era or may be it is still done in some rural part of Pakistan But it is really distressing to see some parents with that kind of mentality living abroad.
What should a person do when his/her parents or one of the parent is kind a stubborn as to where the child should marry?
What if the child like someone else but parents (specifically Dad) wants him/her to marry someone else and the kid is not asseting with them and then here comes paki drama player parent to blackmail the child that if this is not goin’ to happen then they will break down or in simple words will play act of gettin’ heart attack, which is pretty normal in our desi society.
Don’t get me wrong but there are still some parents like these to be found even in States/Canada. As a educated person, what would you do in that situation? Would you end up fallin’ for your parent/s blackmailin’ or would fight for what you believe is right for you?
p.s. I don’t mean to disrespect parents nor offend anyone
Danial Shah: what IF somethin' really happens to one of your parent and then rest of the life you walk around with a guilt in yourself and blame from other family members :S?
I thought parents would understand their child's need/necessities and for most part they do BUT why they always sound so backward when it comes to the matter of gettin' married?
I thought parents would understand their child's need/necessities and for most part they do BUT why they always sound so backward when it comes to the matter of gettin' married?
Furqan: its even tougher on a girl than a guy..
lets assume he gets married to a girl he likes and his parents dont agree....they will be stressed only for a short time.
lets assume he marries someone they choose and he doesnt get on with her.....they will be stressed for LIFE. (esp cuz they will be very close to that girls parents and families will break up).
there are many other stresses in life for parents apart from this. they are equally likely to die from a heart attack from other causes.
I know someone who was being blackmailed by his parents so he told them that fine, he will marry the girl they want him to marry, but if anything should go wrong in the marriage, he would hold them responsible. His parents got scared and let him marry the girl he wanted to marry. (Unfortunately his story didn't end on a good note as a couple of months later his wife ended up divorcing him).
Impulse & PyariRani : I understand that its way easier for a guy to act out of his parents wishes and desires but is it as easy for a girl? I find it much complicated for a girl to fight back for her desire to marry someone she wants to other than her parents choice! Plus then you get to hear that girls in our societies don't go against parents.
As far as I know, Islam has given us daughters/sisters a right to marry whom we desire to marry but why can't our paki parents understand that?
The bottom-line is tell parents, that forcing against the wish of boy/girl is unislamic and the nikah done in this way is not valid. So mom n dad pls. stop being unislamic
Seriously put your foot down! Or let everyone walk all over you! People go for arranged marraiges under pressure and proving to be a good daughter/son and then 2-6 months down the road, all the charm vanishes, bitter realities start to show up and then they go, ohhh, I just don’t get along well with him/her.
Take responsibility. It’s your life and yourself is the most important person. If you are not happy, you won’t be able to keep anyone happy around you, your parents or hubby, or kids. Your Call!
There's no easy way outta it, be stubborn, be a b*tch, be a shame to your community, be the rebel, do whatever u gotta do to get what are ur Islamic rights. In the end, the only one who lives wiht these decisions is YOU, not your parents. Your dad isn't gonna be sharing his bed, body, mind, soul, everything with this kid, so tell him to back off (however respectfully possible)...
One thing is that the way you treat ur parents, u will get the same treatment from your children in the future.. So if you want to be unfair and make ur kids miserable 20 something years down the line, then be a good bakra and do wat ur parents say.
i support this opinion:blush: …we are allowed to marry to a person who we want under islamic law and it really makes me sick some parents use blackmailing or even beating as a tool to force their sons and esp girls to marry with some1 of their choice:mad: nobody will have a heartattack if you don,t marry to someone of their choice …women stand on your feet and pleeaz stop this nonsens of you being a victim go and fight for your rights which god has given to you…it is you who is getting married and not your parents…it is you who will have to share your(not using)with him not your parents…it is you who will have to listen to his bull**** whole day long not your parents so pleaazz stop all this crap and demand your rights which you have in islam:grumpy: .
:o my dad was very religous man and he told to all of us boys when we came to holland… you can marry any1 who you want but he had 2 condition:
1st the girl must be a muslim and in my case also sunni.
2nd he preferd pakistani girls(not binding resolution:blush: )… doen,t matter from back home or pakistani girls living abroad.
now i don,t see anything wrong in these condition …they are reasonable as far as i am concerned … 1st 1 is a must for all muslim to get married to someone and… 2nd is not a must but i loved my father so i will try also to fullfill that wish of him:o .
Yes, be a B.I.T.C.H (Babe In Total Control of Herself)
Seriously, be respectful, and communicate. Don’t give up just because it is expected of a woman. No woman is supposed to build the world by destroying herself.
sorry agar ap nai sirf strengte joy karni hai …to in larkiyoun ko sahi tips dein na …takai yeh apnai maa piyo da kiyalaat darust kar sakan:blush: and i don,t like woh word jo ap nai aur sara nai use kia..hope you gals wouldn,t ever use it again,not nice:snooty: .
…takai yeh apnai maa piyo da kiyalaat darust kar sakan:blush: and i don,t like woh word jo ap nai aur sara nai use kia..hope you gals wouldn,t ever use it again,not nice:snooty: .