alhumdullillah my family is not like that
Fight, if you dont then uwill deserve what you get.
FIGHT`
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*Originally posted by Sara516: *
why?
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Because he will get married to a kid who doesn't even have control over her own life, let alone manage a family. What's worse, the only thing she seems to be doing about it, is being "grumpy" in front of her Dad. If my life's future was on the line I would make damn sure my voice would be heard.
Another example of the role of "hapless damsel in distress" which the desi woman loves to play.
Where in UK r u from?
LOL, it wont be a marriage without your consent.
Talk to your parents, girl. How do you expect them to know that you are not happy if you cannot even tell them? They are your parent and would like to see you happy. Tell them you are not happy. Tell them you need time to mature to decide what to do with your life. Tell them you are a grown up now and not their little girl. And SHOW them that too. Be firm. Try to discuss. Showing your dad a cross face would not help. Discuss this like an adult... like a grown up... How you solve this issue in a balanced, sensible way would prove how mature you are. And if you think you are not mature enough then tell your parents the same. Tell them how they expect you to be a mature wife if you are not yet ready to take the responsibilities of a married life.
And by the way...... let me tell you one more thing. If you really are unhappy about it and try your best to have your way but for some reason, it does not happen... then be happy with what life has to give you. Maybe this would be good for you in the long run so.... try your best but be willing to accept what God has chosen to give you.
Goodluck
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by skhan: *
Because he will get married to a kid who doesn't even have control over her own life, let alone manage a family. What's worse, the only thing she seems to be doing about it, is being "grumpy" in front of her Dad. If my life's future was on the line I would make damn sure my voice would be heard.
Another example of the role of "hapless damsel in distress" which the desi woman loves to play.
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yeah u got a point
i feel sorry for both of them. i know for me, if i were being forced to marry my cousin i'd do my damn best to make him a miserable SOB so he'd divorce me.
^ thats mature :halo:
why would u want to ruin both ur lives?
i know…:p…like i said..if i were being FORCED..meaning…no other alternative has worked, i’ve spoken calmy and in an adult-like manner, cried, threatened suicide, and it’s still happening. (yesh i knwo it sounds so bolllywooodish but we’re pretending here), then i’m so jaded and pissed off that i dont care if i’m being mature or not or if i hurt someone else. anyway i think the guy would know as well that i dont want to be married to him either.
Whatever you do dont say Yes (or for that matter remain silent) in front of the Molvi.
Cause then youd have dropped yourself in it.
Funguy was right, buy yourself 2 years and by that time we may come up with something.
I think that you should talk to your parents.You're very young, but I have a few friends who got married young, and they are perfectly fine now.They are married, finished with their education and happy.Im sure the guy cant be that bad, but talk to your parents and tell them you're not ready.Engagement is fine, you can get to know the guy, and see what happens in a few more years.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by PyariCgudia: *
talk to them. tell them exactly how you feel. go for a fist fight if it comes down to it.
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
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PCG,
when I eat lot of protein, I become a very docile person for some reason. I couldn't fight someone if married my dog w/out my consent. Do you recommend any special kind of diet to evoke belligerence in a person?
swimming in a zen like bliss
marriage doesnt stop u from living.. who says u cant get an education once ur married? most of my married friends completed their degrees after they got hitched and some even had kids..
try talking to ur fiance (if that is even an option) and maybe u two can compromise on something.. that way maybe ur dad will be a bit more understanding.. Inshallah
Sara, i dunno dude… suicide? divorce? and all those other “pretend” things u said… i hope ur parents dont ever force u 
sadzzzz didn’t you read my post where i said “alhumdulillah my parents aren’t liek that” ?? 
they never would, thank God. i was just trying to picture myself in teh situation, but it’s too bollywoodish i guess 
Dont do it girl! As most of the guppies said you are too young and therefore prob not ready to take care of marriage. Now your biggest weakness is that you are being afraid to express your opinion to your father. This is a serious matter and I would advise you to stand up for your self and tell him you are not happy with this decision and if possible, have your mom beside you for support. oh btw, do talk to your cousin even if he cant speak english properly. Ask him if he can tell his parents to hold off the marriage and tell him how you feel, that you want to study rite now, you are not ready for a married life etc. You still got things in hand, you have only got engaged rite now so dont think its all over.
Tell your parents that your not ready for marriage yet, besides that ask them why they are doing all this! Tell them that you’ll think about it after completing your basic education atleast 1st…
goodluck dear 
You really need to sit down and talk this through with your dad, not talking to him is not going to solve anything.
But I think you should also talk to this guy, you shouldnt hate him, this is not his fault and this is not fair on him, for all you know he could be a very decent bloke. Im sure he can speak english, nowadays everyone in Pakistan can speak english, so get onto msn, email or ring him, you may be surprised that you actually like him. He probably has no idea that you are not happy about the marriage.
I was taken to Pakistan a few months back to see a guy and before going i had it in my head that I was going to reject him no matter what he was like because I felt that I wasnt ready to get married, but when I met him I thought he was really nice, he can speak english, has a brilliant personality, has a good sense of humour and is very well educated. So we are now engaged, even though they insisted on the nikah i didnt give in because i felt that i needed to get to know him and that the engagement period will help me to see if I have made the right decision and if needs be at least I can back out.
So you still have time to back out and stop 2 lives from being ruined.
I think this is a pretty good example. Most people have stereotypes so imprinted on their brains, that they can’t understand that each person is different. Labels like ABCD and FOB are excessively used and carelessly thrown around to make obscure points. Marriage, at the right age, should be taken a bit more seriously. Generalities should have no role in this decision. Its person to person. Well done, farah. :k:
I agree you need to resolve this as soon as you can. If your not going to marry this guy or make an effort, then you need to break it. Keep in mind this is your fathers nephew, and reflects on him as well. He may get alot of crap for it, from his family.
Thanx mates for giving me advise! u know i was angry at ma parents for not telling me dat im getting married talked to mum n u no wat i feel better now! i mean dad wants me to be happy i think i was hard on the guy its not his fault! yeah the guy actaully likes me a lot so u now wat i gonna get married n try to work ma marrige im not being forced to get maried its ma own choice even if i tell ma parents dat i dont wanna get married yet im still gonna get marrid sum time so it dont really make any difference! da guy cant speak english at all,he from a village so lolz i have to learn to speak ma language properly! i think i was scared of being married young and having a lot of responsibiltys but im passed dat now!!
i havent been to pakistan for 5 years dey properly think ive gained weight lolz nah im still da same so im woried bout ma apperance!! everytime i try to talk to the guy he is alwayz working n wen im at work he tryhs to call me s inshallah we i go to pakistan we better get to no each other before we get maried anyhowz thanx for the advise