Control over what I say/my opinions are not taken just listened to and rectified
What A-levels I took
What degree course I went to
Where I went to uni/location/living at home
Controls over where I go- with whom and for how long
What I wear
To some extent they tried on what I eat (try give me roti instead other foods such as say mexican or italian)
Control over who I be friends with (to some extent)
Tried to exert control over my phone/net/work/education (as in stop all the above at some time in my life)
And now finally they are controlling who I should marry. I like someone and cos caste (I have made a thread of this before) they are not budging. So i said to them do what you want!
Parents have a lot of control.After all they are parents.But they can't force you to marry someone cause Deen has given you the choice.I said no to marrying my cousin and parents didnt force me.Mum tried to indeirectly tell me about his good qualities but she didn't force me.
its hard to answer this question in a simple way coz what my parents controlled/restricted for me changed over the years… now that I’m 21 n all grown up n mature ( :halo: ) they only keep an eye on my interaction with the outside world (broadly speaking)…
When I was 18 yeah. Not anymore. I can do whatever I want. I studied what i wanted. Did what degrees what i wanted. Worked where I wanted. Hung out with whom I wanted.
As long as they knew what I was up too, it was all cool.
When I was 18 yeah. Not anymore. I can do whatever I want. I studied what i wanted. Did what degrees what i wanted. Worked where I wanted. Hung out with whom I wanted.
As long as they knew what I was up too, it was all cool.
That's my story. When I was younger, they had more authority over what I did, as I got older, they continued to influence my choices - but the decision was ultimately my own.
At a certain point, parent's have to trust that their upbringing of their children has instilled the right values in their child, so that the decisions their kid makes is within the realm of what they deem acceptable.
PinkOrchids, how did they choose which A-levels u took? I mean did they ask u at all or take into account which subjects u enjoyed and did better at or just say 'you're doing this and this and this'?
Btw do u drive? Cos often when daughter/son starts driving a lot of the rules go out the window as they become harder to enforce :D
My mom was super strict during my teenage years. I mean, I would be allowed to go whereever I wanted, but I had to get permission. Dad, on the other hand, was always chilling. My brothers always had it much harder though..hahah!
It lasted only until I was 17ish - I do whatever I want now. I keep them in the loop though. Always.
1) When I was a kid, I was supposed to be home by MAGHRIB. When I grew up, I was supposed to be home before mid-night (or at least call them to let them know where I am and What I am upto). I never thought thats too huge ask from them.
2) They told me that wherever I am going, I should tell them. This was off course for my safety. Picnic with friends, shopping with friends, to play cricket/soccer games or just to chill out or whereever, they exactly knew where I am. Other than 2-3 occasions in my life, I dont remember they stopped me anytime from going anywhere.
As for studies, cloths etc, they never forced anything on me.
**We were told whats right and wrong, and after that what we did was our own responsibility. They had no involvement in my university or that I wanted my own apartment.
I wish you all the luck in the world, it sounds like you're going to need it. By the way make sure the guy is worth waiting/ fighting for! **
Science subjects. I was interested in science and just wanted to do - what - 2 main ones and one subject in Art or english.
They even laughed at english.
I am not sure ya'alls level of restriction is same as mine. I am no longer a teen! just past my mid-20s. In addition to this only girl. And yeah only child!
when i was in my teens they definately had authority over me, but they would suggest things... never control. now im 22 they are relaxed about most things and let me get on with life.
how do you feel about being controlled to this extent?
i think it’s normal for parents to have some control over their children, this control however is supposed to serve as a means to guide us when we’re going in the wrong direction.
during weekdays i had to be home by 3pm after school or 5pm(8 for my brothers) if i was going out with friends.
we all had to tell where we were going and with whom, and i dnt think there’s anything wrong with it.
but then we had complete freedom, they knew each and evrything abt us, what we did and there were times when we werent allowed to go somewhere…i think tht’s normal…
and at times my brothers exerted some control over me:vivo:
