Tip FOr US ..So taht we can be Good parents..and not repeat the same mistakes!
..RULE 1..Treat all kids fairly…
1)..agar aik ko pyaar do ..tu dosray ko bhi utna hi do..
If we follow our Sunnat dats what PRophet Pbuh used to do:)
…
2)Her chotay mamlay main …chahayee kitni choti baat ho..her bachay ko uss ka haqq milay…and koi bacha kisi dosray bachay ka haqq na maray.forexample..khilonay..ek ka toota aur woh bolay bhai tumhara toota tha mera shai hai..aisa jhoot jayaz nahi ..apnay bhai ka haqq maar raha hoga..
,…waisay bhi yeh baatein humaray liyee chooti hotii hain per bachoon k liyee they r a big deal.
RULE 2: EDUCATE THEM ON EVERYTHING..(Ghusa aur maar se kaam leney k bajayee..education and sabar se lena chahyee)..
kaisay??
Well..
every weekend or so ..Cover a topic with them…her weekend naya topic…and educate them on certain stuff..make it interesting ..show dem videos related to them..lets jsut say ..showing them a tv show jismain kids were fighting and end main the guy who was misbehaving was considered evil by the viewers..show them and tell dem de difference between good n bad and right and wrong…share yr knwoledge and point of views abt islam..
and let them make their own decisions..becuase their zamana will b different than ours..and they can use the advcies form us and the knwoledge we give them..and decide on their own on what they should be doing with their life..Waisay bhi our responsibility is to guide them..not force them to do sumthing we feel is good..
…*** this will help build yr relationship with yr kids..and communication appas main strong hogii
Rule 3: Go out with them once a week..
to different countries...and places..especially,when they are young..and let them enjoy every moment of their life with u:)..and juste njoy the time with them instead of stressing out.....
** it will help strengthen the family bond..increases love :)
** Rule 4:NO ZABARDASTI!Give an individual his /her rights...**
if they wanna do sumthing and if its sumthign u think k its not good for dem..yr job is to tell them k it will hurt them..agay unki merzii..
coz they r not animals..they r mature enuff to think..and see whats right n whats wrong..they r not babies
and na hi they r my ghulaam (slaves)..her shaks acha bura achi tarah se janta hai..kabhii kabhi jazbat main akar they end up making mistakes..aisi soorat main just help by giving an advice..and if theys till dont listen leave them ..Its then between them n Allah:)
apka farz pura howa..and ho sakhta hai woh sahi hoon..and if they end up being right..u wont regret k zyada force nahi kiya..and if not....if they end up hurt..wagaira...they will learn sumthing..they will still gain something. :)..
WIN /WIN situation..
so leave dem..
and waisay bhi Allah and une k darmiyaan hai mamla den..
zabardasti si not good..infactw oh aur bhi kerain gaye aisa ...
U r welcome...naumaan....i justw ant people to be more open..And bus...dil main yeh baatein thii kehdein...Coz i wanna act upon them tu socha..jo loog faida utha sakhain ine baaton se utha lain:P..waisya bhi sawab hoga her knwoledge ki baat agay pohnchanay ka Inshallah:)
**RULE 5 ..>DISCUSSIOON SESSIONS(OPEN DOOR PIOLICY)
** discussion sessions...
-Koshish kerian her rooz...bachoon k saath interact kerain...
Tell all yr kids to share their expriences and communicate ..MAke this aprt of their daily routine..eitehr dinner or supper time..
HONESTY and equality ka kahayal rakahna hai at every discussion:)
In this discussion no kid is to fool around by just turning a scene in to a joke..this can hurt one's feeling and they might not share their next sharminda honay wala scene..lol
Waisay bhi the purpose of suchs discussions is to share exepriences , gain knwoledge and get good advices..because apnay ek dsoray ki amdad nahi keringaye tu kaun keray ga ...aur waisay bhi apnay hi sacha mashwara deytay hain without lalach..especially "ek maa"
also this will.broaden their minds..etc:)..it will also increase love , attachment and affection among all kids ..Ofcourse parents ko bhi bachoon ko samjhanay main asaani hogii..aur woh unkay perspective see cheezon ko dekh payaingaye/./
if dere is nuthing to share ..always have a topic ready for dem..like honesty or sumthing..
share yr story like how u learnt k honesty and how it helped u ..or so...whatever incident dat took place..:)...discuss it..coz dere's always a lesson behind it:)
OPEN DOOR POLICY .type of a thing..discuss where they feel it needs improvement and all...LISTEN to their ideas..
-COMMUNICATE...and den discuss the matter when you have gathered enough notes n all..DO yr research on it..to see whats right.
-hONESTY...shld b a rule...if someone(my kid) was dishonest..he/ she has to do house chores ( Such a s cleaning dishes or doing otehr hosue chores) as their punishment..:)..
So BKG you do some research before starting some thread or is it mostly your innovation ? Cauz on this specific topic their is already lot of research. Have you read it ? and is it some extension to it, or totally some thing new ?
Rule 6: RESPECT And LISTEN!
Give them and their ideas respect..by listening to what they have to say..:)..
If u feel k unhon ne kUch buhut barda galat kaam kiya hai..jo buhut galat tha..den sabar k saath unkay saath bethain ..baatein kerein..:)...if u feel u r not ready zyada ghussay main hain tu kuch na bolain uss din. 3 dyas wait ekrain As Tiem HEALS ALL WOUNDS>..ghussa chala jaaye tu phir beth k discussion kerian ..batayain kahan galtii apko lagta hai unse hoyii woh bhi pyaar se..
and then njust elave everything up to them..unse kahain k bhool jayain woh jo hoa...ab they shld move on and ab zyada careful rahain woh:0..dats all:)..
because aksar bacha pehley hi depress hota hai uper se parents tAUNTS and taannay maar k becaharay ki jaan ley laytay hain aur self esteem khatam ker deytay hain..
lol...Mr..nauman main notes banati ayii hoon ...dekh dekh k jo aprents ne galtiyaan ki hain unpe..lol..Lol i listen to my friends...unkay dil main kuch baatein hotii hain ...kuch baatein reh jaaati hain parents k against..and ajkal jo bachoon ko probs arahi hain woh sab ...main sunti hoon and den i email myself saying k main yeh sab aisa nahi keroongi ek achi ammi banoongi..lol..:P
**RULE 7:NEVER PUT PERMANENT RESTRICTIONS NOR ISOLATE THEM!
**- If they make nonmuslims friends..Its okay..relax no need to panic...ISlamically bhi they need to b gOOd human beings first so let them be a good human...if we'll isolate them from their friends which they need at all times...they will suffer ..and we might end up losing them forever...coz we can hurt them anjanay main itna k shayad..woh bacha saari zidnagi k liyee tanha hojaaye..so always tell them to communicate and b a good human being coz thats the most important thing..:)
*RULE 8 : DUWAYAIN! *
If you feel yr kids are not listening and are walking on the wrong direction ..well Then guess what all we can do is pray ..Thats when Our duayain and our imaan comes in handy..and ALlah swt hadayat deney walay hain..:)
**Rule 9:Huemsha khud woh keroo jo sahi lagay...ALWAYS DO WHAT U feel is right..
**duniya ki parwaah nahi ekrni chahyee..coz woh tu tab bhii boolaingaye jab woh saab keroo jo woh chahtay hain ..they r never satisfied...isliyee Khaali ek ALlah ko khsuh kerlain wohi kaafi hai..:)
kids parents ki copy kertey hain..tu agar insaan khud ek acha insaan hai ..tu bachay bhi literally buhtu achii cheezain seekhain gaye isliyee...We need to correct ourselves first...Agar hum unkay samnay gaaliyaan deyngaye ghussay main tu shayad woh bhi ghussay main gaaliyaan deyngaye..:)..
Well..Duwyaain saath main chaltii hain..i think apnay baaqi rules nahi aprdey isliyee keh rahay hain we shld always hold discussions with dem..go around with dem..duwyaain her waqt kerta ha insaan bachoon k liyee but...Jab bachay bhatak jayain tab just to calm a parent down ...THinking Of ALLAh helps...coz sometimes bachay sahi hotay hain and parents judge dem wrong....and woh restrictions laga deytay hain taannay martay hain...duwyaain ekrtey hain..
WAISAY BHI TRUST ME!!...JO SHAKS FAISLA KERTA HAI WOH USSAY SAHI LAGTA HAI TU KERTA HAI NA>>KAUN APNAY Liyee jaan K BURA FAISLA keray ga..haan yeh baat alag hai k KNOwLEDGE kum hotii hai bachoon k paas..tu jitni knwoledge hotii hai usss k mutabiq woh faisla kartey hain..tabhi islam main ILM pe zyada zorr hai ..Infact ilm haasil kerney koi jaa hi rahaa ho aur raastay main fout ho jaaye tu woh SHAHEED khilaata hai..
derefore...ILM=knowledge is necessary..
and we r the primary source jinse woh loog knowledge ley skahtay hain..
and waisay bhi sometimes haalaat saath nahid eytay likan insaan apnay haaqq main acha hi faisla kerta hai..duniya k liyee asaan hai faisla kerna comment kerna...PEr wohii situation khud ko face kerni aprdti hai tab ehsaas hota hai k agla kitna sahi tha...
here's a scenerios.
dere were 2 brothers...
His brotehr was talking over de fone with a female colleague or a friend..
ab we dotn knw his neeyat ONLY ALLAH knws....we dotn know k if its for school ..or if they r just firends ..or if they r just sharing general knowledge stuff ..ya jo bhii.
coz we chat online so its de same too..( quite understandable..)
khair.
His younger brother, he started creating a scene at home he goes like "MOM, see agar meray dost k ghar main uska bhai kisi larki se fone pe baat kerta ...TU USKAY DAD uss ko jaan se maar deytay.....app bardasht kyn ker rahi hain ..kuch kahain iskay.saath."
Life main aur bhi tensions hotii hain...bechaary larkay ko itni sunni pardii apni amii se ...shayad larkii jo fone pe thi usnay bhi suni. uski Ami ne moft main aisay hi tension li..
khair.
then kuch saalon baad uska chota bhaii KHud larkiyoun se baat ekrta hai..infact they are all friends.. aur ab yehis awaal jab ussay keroo tu he goes like TAb main bacha tha..baat ekrney main koi kharaaabi nahii...bday pe invite kiya hai...we all r friends r going ..etc..:)
POINT of THE STORY???
kisi ki zindagi main aag laganay k bajayee khamosh rehna chahyee..coz its between Taht PERSON AND ALLAH!..
and NEEYATON KA HAAL WOH jantay hain.
pehley hi life main stress deney ko buhut probs hain ..yeh duhaan, pollution , stress, Money, ....Society.....
lol...lol..
Naa....U need to b educated to give tips..i ahve knwoeldge..and these tips r stolen from other mom's as well...kuch cheezain jo baaqi amiyon main achi lagi i made a note abt them..lol
