Panic Attack - What will I do in Pakistan?

Society Business and Career
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Salams

I just graduated with a Bachelors in Computer Science from Stanford University in California, USA and am going back to Pakistan now for this year. I’ll be applying for masters again to the USA, UK, Canada, Germany inshallah next year for the session starting in Fall '04. I just want to spend this one year in the middle that I have with my family rather than staying here and working. I’ll just work in Pakistan and study for my GRE’s etc in Pakistan.

I’m having panic attacks now though about what I’ll do when I go back :smiley: Like, I’ve never worked before in USA or Pakistan or anywhere else, and I’ve no experience in dealing with the job market and all that stuff. I do want to do something constructive though and make the most of this one year.

My personal interests are also somewhat different from my academic qualifications. I majored in Computer Science in college but all my extra curriculars were in sociopolitical activism and leadership and community work type of stuff. All my electives were also in writing, history, south asian affairs, religion, feminist studies and middle eastern languages. Plus eventually I want to go into social work and policy making in the public sector in Pakistan. I don’t really fancy a job where I’m programming most of the time, I’d really prefer something more interactive. However, I also want to put my Computer Science degree to use and I do think it will be an excellent help inshallah. I’ll keep my perception about jobs in the tech industry and the non tech industry neutral, as perhaps right now I’m just stereotyping after seeing some of my fellow CS people in the Silicon valley.

Another reason I am going back to Pakistan since I want to get a feel for the work environment there, as eventually after my masters too I want to go back and contribute to Pakistan. I have not yet made a final choice regarding the field of study I’ll choose for masters, and I want to get a feel for all the different fields I’m interested in through actual job experience before I make that decision so that I do a masters in something that contributes to my future goals.

For now, I’m open to any kind of work though that I feel is rewarding and challenging and interesting, and utilizes my computer science background but gives me exposure to the other fields I’m interested in as well, I could do more than one job as well. I’ll be in Karachi but I have family in Islamabad too, so I could work there as well.

I’m not sure at all about what to do though and how to go about it. My parents are both teaching in Karachi and my family is mostly into small business, so I’m not going to be able to get many contacts/ advice about this from my family. I have some friends working in banks in Pakistan and I’ll be speaking to them. I’ve been asking around for advice though and talking to other Pakistani alumni from my college and I thought I’d post a thread on GS too and ask the folks here as well…

If you’ve got any advice, ideas, comments, please reply in this thread…thanks :slight_smile:

irem

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Irem I have been in Pakistan since 2 months .....

I will tell u a small story , please bear with me.

Once upon a time there was a young deer, He lived in a forest that was divided into 2 parts. The part that he lived in was very safe but there were no deer there. He lived among antelopes, he had no family or friends, but this part of the forest was considered to be danger free. Of course the other antelopes made fun of him teasing him about his antlers, how small they were, How slow he was, still he remained with them. He dint like the ridicule and missed his family allot but stayed there because of his safety and well-being. His family lived in the other part of the forest that had lions, tigers, leopards and numerous carnivores…….

There is no absolute/correct end to the story. Every one will perceive the deer’s, feelings, anger and fear in different ways. What might be a happy ending for me would be a tragic end for the other.

But in regards to ur thread I suggest you end the story and give me a moral , you never know in doing so u might have ur answer.:

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bibi ji...just get married...bohut parhayee ho gayee

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PKC - Since the day I left Pakistan for Amreeka I always said I am going back to Pakistan. I was going back after my graduation last month too and would have been in Pakistan right now, but my mom was here for graduation and convinced me to stay and apply for masters. I stayed, but then after she left I decided I'm going back too :D and will just apply for masters from there. So now I am going back. I will come again for masters and go back again inshallah. I prefer the dhoop, matti, pollution, corruption, poverty of Pakistan where I can hang out with my cousins and have family around, and where I can speak my own language, eat my own food. I love Pakistan and I love being there. America never truly felt like home. Pakistan always did.
I will acknowledge though that there are many advantages in the west too and I can see why some people choose to live here. I have never wanted to live here though.
People tell me that this is a foolish and emotional decision that I am taking and I will regret it and I'll never have the same opportunities there. I'm sure things will not be a bed of roses there, but inshallah I'll face the difficulties Allah ne chaaha to...atleast I'm doing what I'm satisfied about in my heart and feel is right...
In Pakistan I want to inshallah apply the skills I have learnt from here and contribute to the country in my own humble way however I can inshallah and also do something constructive that contributes towards my own personal goals...
Thats is why I am trying to know what my options are there and what I'll do there...
Khayr, what have you been doing in these two months and what are your plans?

SherazCT - LOL :D :D :D shadi Allah ki marzi se hoti hae jab kismat mein likhi ho...mera is baat pe kya ikhtyaar hae :-) aur waise bhee got too much going on in my life...abhee to siraf graduation kee hae, masters bhee kerne haen inshallah...shaadi kee koi jaldi naheen hae muj ko filhaal :p

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irem baaji, aap ko kis cheez ki fiqar hai, I am sure with your qualifications, the best companies in Pakistan would be dying to get your services!!! Many congrats on your graduation!!!

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Spock, salams :) Ummm I'm not so sure anyone would be dying to get my services :D aik kaghaz kee degree se kya ho jata hae, i have a long way to go before I'm even worthy of being a good addition to any company... :D
laikan thanks :)

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Spock is rite, they'll take u hathon hath Inshallah.

Off topic question but where do ur parents teach?

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Y r u using multiple nicks irem, I dont see any fun in that.

Goin back 2 pak & serving ur country even in a humble manner is a gr8 start, it alwayz pays off later.

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irem: you can come shopping with me!! im going for 3 months and am freaked out about getting bored, unlike you, i dont have any cousins worth hanging out with…they either are kids or have kids older than me!! hehehehhee!! open invitation if ur gonna be in karachi! :wave:

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by irem: *
. I prefer the dhoop, matti, pollution, corruption, poverty of Pakistan where I can hang out with my cousins and have family around, and where I can speak my own language, eat my own food. I love Pakistan and I love being there. America never truly felt like home. Pakistan always did.
:p
[/QUOTE]

yes larki, u the best! i so wanted the same and getting it :)

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As you asked for a feedback, comments, replies..I will try to answer your queries and confusions in a most unbiased manner possible…This post might sound a little blunt but if you read it in a positive manner then it might help YOU in the end. :)

I think you are making a wise decision of going back to Pakistan and serving the country within your capacity and capabilities. Sounds great but is this what you want to do? You don’t have to answer me..you have to answer yourself. Are you capable of taking up the challenges Pakistan’s infrastructure has to offer…Are you strong enough or little too pampered to confront reality? Again, you know it better whether you are in denial about Pakistan, guilty of reciprocating a good education in US or do you want to get married and its politically incorrect to voice it at the moment.

I understand that you didn’t choose your major cuz you liked programming, in fact you hate it to an extent that you don’t want to pursue a career in it. That is fine. If you have made a mistake or taken a wrong step and are not comfortable in a certain field you shouldn’t take the next step ..it only adds to miseries. A bachelor’s degree in CS doesn’t mean that you have to pursue a career in it too. All you have to do is be serious and practical about your career and have some sort of ‘realistic’ long term goals.

Again, reading your post I think neither you are serious nor you have a long term goals. You are pursuing masters just because you have nothing positive/better to do at the moment..you haven’t even decided on a major at the moment..plus its your mother wish that you to do it. If you ask me..that’s a recipe for disaster…

You are at a stage in your life that you shouldn’t make decisions when you are unsure about things or just because its your parents desire. You need to stand up for yourself and explain your parents how you want to mold your life to achieve your goals. I’m sure they are literate enough to understand it. It doesn’t come under disobedience nor does it come under lack of social status if you don’t have a masters degree. Its about you and your life. You have lived long enough in the west to realize what it takes to be an individual…don’t let it go to a waste. :)

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BoSS :eek: ouch :crying:

I’ll put it this way Boss, I admit I have mixed thoughts, but I want to go back much more than I want to stay and when I think what will make me truly most happy, I think of going back. Inshallah I think I can take on the challenge…Allah ne chaaha to…I don’t mean to brag or sing praises of myself, but honestly speaking I think although others might not see it, I’ve already faced some very tough personal challenges in life and mera dil hi janta hae how tough it was. I grew up in a very conservative and sheltered atmosphere in Pakistan. Even now, when I go to Pakistan, I don’t go out to the shops down the street myself…that’s the kind of conservative background my family is from. My family is very middle class and conservative. And I was always grew up surounded with relatives. I came to the US all alone, left home at 16. Being here alone was very very very tough, the biggest challenge of my life. I have not a single relative in the US and not any girl from my family came abroad to study, and my brother was the only boy who went abrod, he went to Canada before me. There were months when I used to cry every night since I was so homesick here. My major computer science was very tough. A lot of people don’t do CS because it is so tough. But alhamdulillah I was able to stick through it, often I felt like changing my major or leaving everything and going back but I knew I needed to complete my degree no matter what as Allah had given me the opportunity and I didn’t want to be a nashukri. I was always very involved in extra curriculars and that took some of the stress away, and Allah blessed me with some very good friends. I could have even achieved more, that’s true, but alhamdulillah I in my heart am satisfied with whatever I did, though I try to keep my mistakes in perspective too so I dont repeat them. I even got sick one year, was hospitalised in my university hospital, I didn’t even tell my parents till I recovered, alhamdulillah my friends were there the whole time.
Alhamdulillah my parents have always raised me with a lot of love and I am the only daughter, but I do not think they ever wrongly pampered me, I don’t consider myself pampered or spoiled…why did you get that impression? Hmmm…
And what is reality anyway? It doesn’t have to be bitter. It’s just how you take reality that matters isn’t it?
I am not a very strong person, but I think that as long as I have someone there with me to provide me some encouragement, and I don’t get disheartened, I can take up challenges, aagay Allah Maalik.
I’m not against getting married but I’m certainly not going to get married during this one year. I do not plan to till I am done with my masters. I am not in a rush about it at all, I am only turning 22 next month.

I never thought majoring in CS was a mistake. Hard work can never be a mistake. CS [some people say Physics] is the hardest major in my college and alhamdulillah I am glad I did it.

You are right, maybe I am not serious minded or practical and realistic enough about my long terms goals. But when I think about what I want to do, I do think I want to go into policy making and social work in the Pakistani infrasructure for women’s, children’s issues. I think it is very much possible with my CS background. A lot of people switch, and I can be innovative and try to utilise my degree. Plus, I have not done masters yet, and I will do it in a related field.

Ho realistic or serious minded do you reckon I should be? I do have some idea about the fields I want to apply to, and that’s what a lot of my undergrad classes and extracuriculars were related to. I am a bitundecided but not utterly clueless about the issue…

I know how some other graduates also feel, and a lot of them are unclear. Not everyone has their life laid out in stone in front of them, and waise bhee you can’t plan the future too much, as jo hota hae behteri ke lyay hota hae Allah kee marzi se…

:slight_smile: Actually I was a bit confused before but now I have realised that I would really like to do masters if it is in a field of my choice. I don’t think I need to ‘stand up’ to my parents. They are very, extremely, understanding and caring and never force me to do anything in which I am unhappy.
I want to live in Pakistan and I want to be good in whatever I do inshallah. I think masters is not that important in the west, but in Pakistan it is.

Khayr, thanks for your reply :slight_smile: I am not sure why you have such a negative impression of me… :slight_smile: but atleast you care and wrote up a long reply and were honest in stating your opinions…which I appreciate…thanks :slight_smile:

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:slight_smile: :jhanda:

aight Hajra its a date :wink:

Where do you live in khi? I’m in Clifton.

Bas aisay hi got bored with my other nick :smiley:
thanks :slight_smile:

inshallah hopefully…thanks :~)

I’ll PM you about where my parents teach :~)

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Hey! u r so young..go take a break :slight_smile: I thought you were some 25-26 yrs old confused girl :-p j/k. Its good that you are thinking about your career etc. Just be sure of what you want to do..everything else will fall in its place. Good luck :k:

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Thanks Boss :slight_smile:

p.s. Why did you think I was 25/26? :eek: and why should age matter and the fact that I’m about 22 and not 25-26, (confused nevertheless :o) make a difference?

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You are welcome.

Yes, age matters when you are in your twenties…The better u plan now..easier it is gonna be for you in the future…i.e. more opportunites and options.

p.s desi girls normally take 5-6 yrs to gradute from a decent university and on top of that you chose a technical major. :eek :j/k seems like you started early..must be a bright student.

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Irem… my cousins speech therapist came back from US to serve his country. He couldnt stay more than an year & moved back dishearted. I know number of other examples too.

There are few Question u may want to answer urself.

Do u want the hala gula with ur cousins, rat jaga, the fun, the outing, the parathas & kata kat in dinners out …or do u want to serve pakistan with what u have ?

I think it will be better if u have an experiance of working there first, atleast 2-3 years & maybe with ur masters, then u r more suitable for pakistan.

Maybe right now u can just come & relax rather then thinking about what u gona do here.

If u come after ur masters & experiance i m sure u will be taken “hathoon hath” as mentioned above & at a better level of position where the decission are in ur control.

If u come right now, u might hardly find a place where the decissions are in ur control, & obiviously it will be frustration (beleive me it will be more than anything u have ever faced yet) when u know things are going wrong & u cant do anything bcos u r not the decission maker.

Plus, u wont find much of the places which use open source as developing environments, there wont be much environments of unix/linus & even if there are, they r not for developing purpose apart from few places.

I suggest u come over, have fun here, dont worry dont take much tension :slight_smile: & see the things… visit diffrent places, meet ppl, visit organizations & see how things work over here & how u can help staying in the infrastructure available on here.

I think there are alot of guppies who can help u in khi & isb to see the things at diffrent places.

Good Luck:)

:bravo:

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Join an international NGO.

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hskhan - I am planning to do something like that inshallah for sure, but not as a full time job, prolly part time :)

JonyBr - At first I was a bit disheartened after reading your reply but now I appreciate it because you were being honest. Thanks :)
I'm decided about going back right now. There are many reasons. Life has a lot of aspects and banday ko sab saath saath le ke chalnay partay haen na, its not just about career :-)
Lekin inshallah I'm planning to do masters, and eventually do plan on making use of the opportunity Allah miyaan gave me so I can really serve my country, in whatever way I can.
About returning to settle here, I have lived here 5 years and never had the feeling of home here, plus all my family is in Pakistan. So I do not think I would like to settle here. lekin Jo Allah ki marzi...we can't predict how the future turns...all I know that I never had the desire that a lot of desis have of settling in amreeka...I love living in Pakistan.

BoSS - Hmmm...No I was not that bright or anything. I really think it was 'maan kee dua' and Allah's plan for me. He has different things in plan for different people and its just our kismat what we land up doing.

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by X_Communist: *
Spock is rite, they'll take u hathon hath Inshallah.

Off topic question but where do ur parents teach?
[/QUOTE]

Ive had the honor of being taught during Olevels by Irem's father, he was an excellent teacher, and also one of the nicest teachers I ever had.

btw irem, I didnt know you were niqabi??? I thought you were getting a job in the US (atleast niqabi was, in some other thread?)