Pakistanis who date

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Pakistanis who date

deja vu

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thats sweet, I could use some tips though.

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^Do you want me to find you a nice, pretty aur sosheel larki?

24

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^^ is it sosheel = social ???

25

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I don't know what it means but all the aunties always seem to associate it with a prospective girl. I am assuming it's someone who knows how to do housework? Beh.

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Re: Pakistanis who date

soosheel = "sughar"
ghareelo ......

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well said :)

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in a way, maybe its good that the culture is evolving. the weirdness is from the repression of the culture, and i think that as that gets lifted away, more people will be open with their feelings. whenever i get asked out by guys and then feel like im undergoing this huge moral dilemma trying to decide if i should go for it or not. maybe as the culture opens up it will be easier to make these choices without too much of a burden. i know personally i go through a dilemma of if this is making me a worse muslim or not if i say yes. so far i have said no, but recently ive been feeling like i should say yes. im like what the heck, if (by what im learning here) the cultural norm in pakistan includes people dating and passing time, why not me then?

i just didnt know if it was more of the norm these days... its easier to feel better about dating if one knows that alot of other people are doing it to be honest.

and to the person who said let it go, seriously? its important to have a discussion and hear people's opinions. no one is trying to repeat conversations. i didnt see the first thread. try being a little less dismissive to new members.

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what kind of situation would this be? im confused?

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Okay fine munna. Lets see. You're having a moral dilemma about dating because of your Islamic background. Logical solution would be to reference your religion. And that doesn't mean referencing scholars and maulvis necessarily, but the religious texts directly. Infanticide was fashionable at some point in the world, but would you be using the same line of reasoning then...everyone is doing it, so why don't I?

Therefore, reference how the Prophet got married. Enough examples there. After all, he did have way more than just 1 wife. His marriage with Khadija - he was her employee. Clearly, there was more than just a chai-parade and picture showing in-laws chamcha-ghiri that goes on tradiionally in Pakistani culture. So, that marriage alone should tell you its perfectly okay to get to know someone on your own. Now now, don't get excited, because I didn't say dating. If every time I spend time with someone in a conversation with them and call that a date, then hell, I'm worse than a high-profile hooker. Clearly, talking to someone and even working with them is not considered dating. But talking to someone and working with them and getting to know them is clearly halaal, no matter how many maulvis tell you otherwise.

The Prophet's marriage to Aisha (R) was an arranged one of sorts, although he did interact with her considerably when she was a child, and witnessed her growing up. Again, not a situation where he married someone he never spoke to before.

Fact of the matter is that Islamic history of the Prophet's time shows us that men and women did mingle with one another, had considerable social interactions and were working on common goals. Therefore, networking was not an issue like it is today. We run into these "should I date or not" debates, because our society doesn't really let us freely socialize with the opposite sex to the level you saw it in the early days of Islam, because somehow we've deluded ourselves into thinking that only a COMPLETELY segregated society is tolerable in Islam.

Danger is that by being so restrictive, people start thinking about dating as a solution, but dating is not just conversations and mature contemplations on whether that person can be your spouse. Dating can be anything from "Lets go to the library and study together" to "Meet me at Motel XXX at midnight".

That's why I say it really is a personal choice. Because it depends on what YOU mean by dating, depends on who the guy is, depends on what your and his intentions are, depends on what you're going to do on the date, depends on what you'll talk about if there will be any talking, depends on if he's buying for you or not, depends on if you go for alcoholic drinks and have impaired judgmement, depends on if there is a chaperone, depends on if he introduces himself to your parents first, yada yada yada.

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I don't think dating is wrong if you stay in your limits..... not go all physical and stuff...

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lol..............Lusi, aur dating mein kia kiya jaata hai? Sirf movies dekho aur pop corn khaao? Sorry, I've never dated, I don't know :D

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lolz... neither have I :D

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isi liy dono hasy khushi shadi shuda zindgi guzar rahy ho.

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I think Lusi is still single :hmmm: not sure about availability :smiley:

Yes, Alhamdulillah I am happily married.

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lol availability hehehe

lusi tel me you status plz.

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lolz... sorry.. not here knockartist :D

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^^ This response tells it all ... she is soooooo single :)

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:cb:
you are so funny!:rotfl:

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how???
I can't read that response. hmmmm
may be thats why I am single.

lusi come on.. you r my home town girl. It will be so easy for both of us.

Checking up on imran