So, I’m curious. Is this becoming the norm? I read through alot of posts here and people mention their “ex” and their girlfriend/boyfriend. Uh… is this like a euphemism for “oh he’s the guy i want to marry but we don’t do anything or hang out alone” or is it really straight-up bf/gf american-style?
and in pakistan, it seems like there is alot of dating, albeit secretly.
i think this is weird and it feels like this is what happens when people are repressed by the culture or the government…
Re: Pakistanis who date
im pretty sure they refer to ppl as their exs only after they've actually done stuff with them? like an actual relationship
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Does it really matter what they did/didn't do?
Maybe some did mess arond physically and others never went beyond holding hands (err...just sayin), point is why is it any of your business what they did or didn't do?
Everybody has a different definition of what makes a "relationship".
You said in another thread about marrying non-Muslims, that we should be worried about ourselves and not others, right? so does this apply?
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LOL, calm the eff down, i think you're the one snap judgement-ing. i am not judging individuals, i'm just giving my opinion that its weird that it occurs because of repression (this happens in iran alot from a cultural point of view, b/c of the repression there). if you sara516 want to date, go right ahead! just because i don't think we should sit there and judge other muslims doesn't mean i'm not interested in knowing how cultural/societal shifts come to be. i'm just wondering when it became the norm culturally speaking (like from an anthropologic point of view).
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You're posting in the wrong forum then if that was your intention. Its better suited for the society forum :)
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Thanks Sabriya for the mature response! That is a good point. There are so many forums in Gupshup and as a new member, I am not familiar with all of them.
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I think dating has become alot more common especially in pakistan and india like you mentioned hence the increase in love marriages i am seeing nowadays. I guess to each their own. If your against dating and doing it secretly then don't do it...simple as that..however if you met someone you like alot then why not go ahead and get to know the person?
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LOL, calm the eff down, i think you're the one snap judgement-ing. i am not judging individuals, i'm just giving my opinion that its weird that it occurs because of repression (this happens in iran alot from a cultural point of view, b/c of the repression there). if you sara516 want to date, go right ahead! just because i don't think we should sit there and judge other muslims doesn't mean i'm not interested in knowing how cultural/societal shifts come to be. i'm just wondering when it became the norm culturally speaking (like from an anthropologic point of view).
Thanks for your permission to date, i'm sure my husband will appreciate that. :D
Sorry but no need to get so defensive. If you feel like I misunderstood your question, my bad. you seem like a sane and level headed poster (welcome btw :))...so....
anyways, my thoughts on the Q? I think dating in Pak vs dating in America are very different. Here, most of the time if HS/college students date it's with the intention of marrying...sadly sometimes things might not work out the way they had wanted it to. Whereas in Pak i believe that "dating" is more for fun and for time-pass and fooling around. Most kids will still rely on their parents to find them a spouse. Either way, i wouldn't comment on their physical relationships but rather their intentions generally.
Re: Pakistanis who date
So, I'm curious. Is this becoming the norm? I read through alot of posts here and people mention their "ex" and their girlfriend/boyfriend. Uh... is this like a euphemism for "oh he's the guy i want to marry but we don't do anything or hang out alone" or is it really straight-up bf/gf american-style?
and in pakistan, it seems like there is alot of dating, albeit secretly.
i think this is weird and it feels like this is what happens when people are repressed by the culture or the government...
I think the reasons for dating amongst pakistanis is diff. Alot of them date like sara said for a bit of fun and time pass. I live in the Uk and alot of pakistanis here are dating with the intention of gettin married since they simply dnt trust their parents to find then sum1 suitable. Because alot of families here in the Uk have cum 4rm villages i pakmany years ago i find that their mentality and way of thinking is still the same 4rm those many yrs ago despite the fact that their own villages have probably becum more advanced.
Any how many parents get their kids here who cant spk a word of urdu probabu a bit of punjabi to a girl/guy frm back in their village and they have no common ground with their spouses no understanding. Im nt really pointing the finget at parents for this, mayb they think a girl/guy from back home in thevillage will be better for their children, i dont know.
Kids now here however a taking a stance and are dating, to find tge ryt partner for themselves.
Many do get physical, which i thik is wrong, but tht is entirely thr business , howver i knw many other lovely coples who dated b4 marriage but as far as i am aware they were nt pyhiscal relationships.
ALthough islamically we r not meant 2 date and certainly not get physical b4 marriage many ppl do not have that take and most definitely want to get to knw their partner b4 gettin married, rather than marrying sum1 they hardly knw, and the marriage not working out.
Tht is not 2 say that arranged marriages do not work out and those who have love marriages work out, it all luck and help and guidance from allah in helping u to find the partner :)
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What if you found the person that you thought you would spend the rest of your life with but then something went horribly wrong and you two couldn't be together anymore. I wouldn't consider something like that dating, it would be a soon-to-married situation so I really won't judge whether it was morally right or wrong considering the events that have happened. That wouldn't be just simple gf/bf stuff like in the west.
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yeah they get hollywood in Pakistan too now, that's the only change.
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you gotta see the "scene" in pakistan.. ladies in burqa dating.. :(
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Pakistani who are dating are so going to HELL.:ASA:
Pakistani who are NOT dating are ALREADY in HELL.:(
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lol
pakistani larki nahee milti :(
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I had no clue that this topic was so hot. This is the second discussion in 24 hours on this very topic.
Dating shating. Let it go. Everyone is making their own choices, and some date, and some don't. Its personal choice, really.
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^ Everything is a choice at the end of the day. If you want to date, you'll find a way somehow. Just gotta want it enough.
Its okay Knockout. Keep trying. We're all got yo back.
