Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

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1

Is its all Desi’s that comes late to weddings ???:hmmm:

Every wedding i have been too
ill say 65 % of the invited people came late
why is that:aj:
we don’t show up 1-3 hours late in school at our workplace or when we are going to meet some friends or when we go to a party

Then way be late to weddings:konfused:
Are we going late to daw attention to ourselves isn’t it day bride and grooms day

i was to this wedding and on the invitation there was written the wedding is gonna start at 16.00 No Matter What
people didn’t get that
they came at 18.00 and some even walk in the door 20.00
and they got “upset” at the groom and brides parents saying
why did you guys start so early ??
why didn’t u guys wait ??

bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
and more bla bla bla bla bla

And why the hell did they get mad
the bride and grooms parents should get mad at them for coming like they are some nawab people

and some people come to eat and the when they have eaten they wash there hands and “look they are headed home” . . .lolzz

Why can we all show up on time have a good time party and eat party again and the go home when its the bride and groom are getting tired of us . . . . . . . .

Lets take goray people
they show up on time
see the groom and bride do there thing in the church
then head our to the reception place eat party
every thing goes well

Im sure that if some Desi people wasn’t just thinking of getting our with it or only thinking of eating then a pakistani wedding would be some thing to talk about for a loooong time

I mean we have that Bollywood stuff going on
Cool clothes that shines a lot
Sooo much jewelry
The high heel sandels no matter if it frezzing out side
A good DJ (Good Music)

and cute guys that we can sit and look at . . lolzz
(i dont know why but its like paki boys get more handsome and cute when they where a tux or sumthing like that
and so on and so on

My worst wedding experience was in pakistan peole came 3 hours late
and the groom and brides parents wouldent start before every one was there
so i sat for 3 hours and looks at islamabad beautiful view and cuties in suits and stuff . . . . lolz
and the worst part was that there was NO music at all :bummer: so
Why do Desi’s have this lame habbit of coming late
Share your worst Wedding experience

or any thot or feeling about this :halo:

2

Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

Firstly, I (& assume some others) would appreciate if u dont use red colour or other fancy colours, makes difficult to read.

Its kinda tradition, happened with me always that I was there exact time written on the card & people didn't appear until like three or even four hours. Last year in Lahore I reached my friends wedding at 8 pm (as written on the card) and realised that PC didn't even prepare the Hall properly so I wasn't even able to sit anywhere, hall was prepared at 8:45 (due time was 8:00 pm) and people started coming around 9 / 9:30 pm.

Answer to it is, this is the way it is, u take or u leave it, u cannot change it.

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Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

Its just the mindset of the people.
You can judge that these people have no respect and regard for their own but also someone elses time.
After getting married I noticed that my wife had the same thing in her mind why go on time everyone comes late. Once me and wife were late from a party by 1 hour, guess what? I left her and went alone, never had a problem afterwards.
Maybe its extreme case but I was invited at a wedding party in a hotel in Alain UAE, I was there on time. Waited for actually 30 mins. when nobody showed up I drove back to Abu Dhabi. This rishtaydaar of mine called me some 2 hours later that where I was? and when I will be reaching? when I told him the incident, ironically, he was asking why I didnot wait? now how do you reply to this kind of ignorance.

~~~ Missing someone ~~~
4

Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

Its against the constitution of pakistan to be on time for anything let alone weddings

5

Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

For those who are patting themselves on the back that "WE" are always on time, you have to remember that people print a certain time on the cards with the expectation about when guests will actually show up. You are disappointed not because you are "early" but because others were not "on-time". Well, the problem is that others came when the host expected them to be. You are the one who showed up way too early, and this is a problem of expectation.

If you are unsure, just call the hosts and ask them when you should actually show up. Showing up early is not only inconveniencing yourselves but also the hosts. If you have a reputation of showing up at a given time, the hosts will gladly tell you that "for others we have told them 8 pm, but you should show up at 9:30 pm". That way everyone shows up between 9:30 and 10.

And then there is also a situation that people can't just sit for hours. So for them the best solution is to come in late, enjoy the dinner and leave in a reasonable period of time. Some others have an issue that they have to sleep early (either due to their routine or medication or whatever). Their solution is to come in a bit late, congratulate the host, don't wait for dinner and leave early. Most dinners served at Pakistani weddings are not good for your health anyway, so you will do yourselves a favor by avoiding them.

Moral of the post is that there are solutions to every problem. You just have to think outside your own limitations. And also try to adapt to local customs, rather then forcing your own views on others or getting bitter about it. People in Spain, for example, take siesta in the afternoon. If you start grumping about their laziness you are only going to raise your own blood pressure. People of Spain could give two hoots about your whining. Same is with some of our desi traditions and cultures. Good or bad, you can only do so much about eradicating them. Think of ways around them, enjoy your life and be happy.

6

Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

^^ If you want people to come late then tell them on the invitation card! Why should we have to play mind games with people and try to figure out when we are 'expected' to arrive. It is the responsibility of the host to coordinate the event properly so .Im sorry I cant accept such a lame excuse

~~~ How you dressed up today ~~~
7

Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

This is not a mind game. You are either not aware of local customs or refuse to follow them. Either way, you are just increasing your own blood pressure. If you notice, local people come late, but most come within a certain time frame. Thats the time frame which both the hosts and the guests expect. If you are new to a culture, any culture, and unsure about local customs, its always helpful to ask. But no, some people will want to impose their own views on others and when others don't follow, they sulk. Well, whatever rocks your boat, sir. Its your life. You can either enjoy it, or you can bemoan it. Your choice.

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Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

Why print the arrival time in the invitation to begin with if the intent is NOT to have guests then? Its not a custom or cultural practise, it's acquired and accepted tardiness.

Just print that "come as you please, even a day after and we will serve you microwaved dinner" in the invitation. People unnecessarily complicate their lives. Sheesh.

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Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

I agree its not a local custom to be late its just pure laziness and inconsideration for others. Its one of the reasons why we are a failed state. people should learn to respect the value of time, no excuses

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Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

well iv heard ppl say no one is going to b there yet ...the time they invited us is 16.00 so we shud b tehre by 18.00

its just a cultural thing...which is annoying

like many other cultural aspects of our lives

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Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

And what if the wedding takes place in USA? Then are we a llowed to post the real time it begins? :halo: Do we go by the local culture (of being punctual) or still try to adapt to lazy/selfish ppl’s version of “punctuality” :mad:

12

Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

I think we are talking about wedding held in Pakistan, in this thread.

13

Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

All I am saying is, either you can accept that you can't change everyone and work your way around it, or you can get there hours earlier, then sulk, whine and complain about it.

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Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

Yeah but wat if the wedding is held in USA? speaking from xperience, desis don't care whether ure in USA or Pakistan, if htey're late they're late

15

Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

if something is wrong, then why should we accept it?

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Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

^ I guess when in Pakistan, do as they do and not sulk and whine and complain.. but anywehre else, yeah its considered wrong adn u have every rite to sulk and whine and complain :pcg:

17

Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

You can go ahead and increase your blood pressure for other people's tardiness. Alternatively, when its your own wedding, please go ahead and set off in baraat at the time printed on the wedding card. Hopefully your own family is ready at that time, even if bride's family is still in their pajamas.

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Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

^ OK but if we're not in that culture/country then WHY should we try abiding by really stupid rules like tardiness? From what i've heard, halls/hotels herei n USA can be pretty strict about timings and stuff, so it doesn't make sense to be ok wit tardiness..why should we have to make accomodations for ppl who have no respect for another's time ?

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Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

Interesting discussion.

Given that it has already been established that the guests won't be arriving on time, the hosts might as well stop printing the time for arrival, dinner, and whatever else there is that is printed.

I'm sure the guests would be able to figure what the best time is to arrive at the ceremony.

Aside from that, I recently learned that the weddings take much longer to conclude now than they did in the past. The latest I've heard is approximately 6 am. Is this really happening?

Sara516, the desi weddings that I've attended in Toronto pretty much start and conclude at Pakistani Standard Time. I don't recall dinner being served at 8 or 9 pm.

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Re: Pakistani Wedding (why Are People Always Late ???),

well i know is that my wedding was on time…the time printed on the card:cb: dad didnt care about the guests… time pai khana dai diya ..half the hall was empty but he said **Jou time bola tha uss pai koi nahi ayya tou why should we wait..**when the dinner was over ,most of the people were coming it was such a funny situation…unn ko khana bhi nahi mila baad mai:omg:
my husband knew my dad so he and his relatives were exact on time:hehe:

way to go DAD:D