Hello all,
Most of you have misunderstood me. I wrote a short to the point request so here’s the long explanation.
I love and respect my father a lot. I have done everything in my power to be there for him. But I am his child and not his partner or friend. He will not share his pain with me. Around me and my family, he is happy but when he is alone which is most of the time, he is very sad. I work full-time and take care of my disable mother (in nursing home) on weekends. He refuses to socialize with his friends and their wives because it reminds him of the times they spent together when mom was around. I asked him to get a job at a local library, Barnes & Noble. This way he can do some reading which he loves and come in contact with people. That’s a no. OK, let’s volunteer at a local hospital or mosque. That’s a no. I have come up with so many ideas but everything is a no. Since he chooses to not be involved, he has no one to talk with and no one to share his thoughts with. I am afraid this will cause him to go in depression. I asked him to move in with me, although I am not home all day, the house is full in the evening. Well, he rather die then live with his married daughter. My husband and children and I always include him when we go out for a family dinner. I have asked him to organize the old albums so we can have a nice historical album in order. There could be close to 1000 pictures around the house, again, no, it reminds him of mom.
I hope that explains why I came across frustrated. I rather die then live my dad alone to suffer. I know I have to get old too someday. My kids are watching my actions. I am doing the best I can with the challenges given but I seem to fail when it comes to my dad. It tears me apart that I can’t connect him with people that he could share a laugh or two with. Since he does not want to be around the goras, I thought of a Pakistani group. I am sure he will find a reason to no go there either...
Please don’t judge me!