One of my friends admitted to me today that most men (kala, gora, desi, U.S born Pakistani) posses double standards, want to control marriage life, act dominant, things they want for themselves like partying, enjoying life, doing whatever they want with friends, screwing many girls, and fooling around, they wouldn’t expect from their wives. The girl needs to be innocent because she will be mother of your kids, pure, good character, clean past, and very family oriented… The girl should stay quiet and involve herself in motherly activities once she becomes a mother. He suggested me that I will never get married if I stay with my Americanized thinking of “equality between partners” and not act innocent.
Do you think this kind of mentality is associated with education? I think educated guys here in America would like to have a witty, smart, good-looking, independent woman who he can treat equally, enjoy life and share responsibility with. Are men really hypocrites? I dont believe all men are hypocrites and I totally disagree with em. Please men, expose your true-self …
It's def. wrong to say all men. The word all is just too big for one person to use, really.
But, anyways, it depends on the way he was brought up, in my opinion. Some are just bred to be brat. Hopefully, most Pakistanis aren't like that; they're family oriented and have shame and know their limits. Even if not Pakistanis, any man who's a good pious Muslim will make a great husband, I think. So, it isn't restricted to Desi men. Same thing with women, too. Depending on how religious she is and if she knows her limit, she'll make a great wife and mother.
I think educated guys here in America would like to have a witty, smart, good-looking, independent woman who he can treat equally, enjoy life and share responsibility with.
THIS! But also she also has to be non-religious. She can be a "non-practicing" Muslim (means someone born in Muslim family but doesn't practice Islam but still is a good person), but I wouldn't marry someone who prays 5 times a day, fasts during Ramadan, and anything superstitious.
Society really works this way in our culture tough :( , we are surrounded by advantageous hypocrite men... I think education might play a factor in dealing hypocrisy, if an individual is less educated then they might want to control a woman more.
ISLAM IS A BEAUTIFUL RELIGION, OUR CULTURE IS MAN-MADE....
"He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every situation. The Prophet (s) listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the greatest. He must treat her generously at all times. If she works outside the house, it is praiseworthy for the husband to hire house help to relieve her from too heavy a burden. The wife's duties do not require her to feed her child, nor even to nurse it, nor to clean nor cook. It is the husband's duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older children, and servants to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it is a gift to the husband on her part"...
Prophet (s) said: "The most complete of the believers in his belief is he who perfects his manners, and the best of you in manners are those who act best towards their wives." Marriage must be approached with utmost seriousness, entered with the purest intent, and cultivated religiously as it does not come cheaply and it carries immense reward".
Just wanted to add that I don’t discriminate. I respect Muslims, just like I respect Christians, Jews, Hindus, and people of any other religion but it’s just the ideology that I have a problem with. I don’t feel woman have equal rights and also that they are oppressed in Islam.
Anyways in Islam only men can marry non-Muslims (i.e. Christian/Jew/etc.) while woman can only marry a Muslim otherwise they go to hell if they marry a non-Muslim.
I don't feel woman have equal rights and also that they are oppressed in Islam.
That depends on one's understanding of Islam and why it prescribes the laws.
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Anyways in Islam only men can marry non-Muslims (i.e. Christian/Jew/etc.) while woman can only marry a Muslim otherwise they go to hell if they marry a non-Muslim.
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That's not correct. Only Allah knows for sure who goes to hell and who doesn't. However, if you meant that this is forbidden, then Yes. In case a Muslim women gets married to a non-Muslim man, it'll be like they're not married and any intimate relation will be major sins. Same ruling applies to men who marry any women from any other religion beside Islam, Christianity, and Judaism.
Right. Good questions. Sorry for the off topic posts.
Hmmm...maybe, because they think they're men and they are more "free" as opposed to women, who are believed to be more family-oriented and conservative. However, in reality, this is trur for both genders. I blame the parents to some extent because they do play a role in giving more leeway to boys than girls. Boys need to be kept an eye on just like girls.
Society really works this way in our culture tough , we are surrounded by advantageous hypocrite men... I think education might play a factor in dealing hypocrisy, if an individual is less educated then they might want to control a woman more.
Erm just to throw another spanner in the works its not just Desi or Muslim culture that is the only one which has men thinking about the "Lock up yer Daughters" Mentality.
I think it's a Cultural idea born out of desperation, and also dare I say guilt and Karma as well but I wont bother explaining myslef as I think you guys get the message... Takes cover
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